Need to vent, need advice please

 I had RNY two weeks ago, and personally thought I was doing ok. I drink my water, shakes and take my BA multivitamins.  I have been drinking chicken broth and having pureed soup and have been doing good with this.

Well now that I'm about to go to the pureed phase, and talk about what I can eat, my  husband keeps saying I'm just wasting my surgery.  I feel like I'm not suppose to eat anything.  Then when I don't feel up to walking, he gets mad at me.  I'm trying very hard to succeed at my new healthier life, but I feel like I damned if I do and damned if I do.  What am I suppose to do? 

I am suppose to get in 150 minutes of walking a week, so I switch up walking outside and walking on the treadmill.  I just feel its not good enough.  I think I want to my husband with me to first post-op visit with my surgeon.  I think it would help if he got to ask questions about what I can eat and how much exercising I need.

It sounds to me like you're doing great. Your husband would be on my damn nerves - you had the surgery, not him. I'm sure he's just trying to be helpful, but I do think it would be good if he could talk to the surgeon.

BTW, I lost 148 pounds without doing one BIT of exercise (not recommending that, of course) - you're gonna do fine.

Taking your husband with you to your appointment is a great idea. If you have a NUT, have him sit in on that discussion as well. Knowledge is power, and it sounds like he is lacking a bit.

In the end, if he doesn't "get it", you may just have to say to him that your food issues are YOURS to deal with and that he needs to butt out! He is trying to be supportive but for most men that means FIXING THINGS....he doesn't know how to do it any other way. Maybe offer him some suggestions of things he CAN do to be supportive. 

Good luck.

 Wow you are married to a control freak.  I am married to the same type.  But this is about you, not him.  He needs to tend to himself.  I think it is a good idea to take him with you to the dr appt.  Maybe they can convince him this is your job.  You sound like you are doing very well on your own.  I can remember being tired after my surgery too.  Walk when you can.  Good luck with him.  Lori

I would be kicking his ass!! 

My husband has said things like,"Babe, you need more protein, you have not had any today", or "Should we go to the gym?  You have not worked out in awhile".  I don't mind it because he keeps me on my toes (we just moved and I needed to be reminded during the four day drive, honestly).  He did come to most of the visits with me, which was nice.  I would have him go with you.

 Ugh. I hate when none post-ops tell me what I should or shouldn't be eating. My brother is this way. One day, I finally asked him, "So when was your gastric byspass surgery"? He got the hint to shut up. lol. 

In reality though, taking him to your appointment probably is a good idea. Has he been to any of them with you as a pre-op? Did you doctor give you any printed information to read? If so, maybe show that to your husband. You could also look for a website where he could read some information on it. Just suggestions.

I hear your frustration though. Hang in there. 

This surgery isn't about not eating for the rest of your life. Your husband needs to understand that. I'd definitely take him to your doctor appointment and as somebody else said, see if he can go with you to see the NUT.

This soon after surgery your emotions are going to be torn up anyway. The last thing you need is this sort of negativity. If it doesn't improve, I'd see if he'd do some therapy with you.

Take care, good luck and chin up!!! It gets better, I promise.

"What am I suppose to do?"

Tell your husband to butt out!  You don't need him policing you! 

I think taking your hubby with you to your post op appt is a great idea.  I also had written instructions from my surgeon about what to eat at each stage, so if you have something like that, you could share it with hubby.

Other than that, I would tell him you are following your doc's advice and that you prefer to follow your doc's advice, not his.

You husband clearly doesn't have a clue what you need to be doing.  YOU Do.  Follow your surgeons instructions and do what you know you need to do.  When DH says something stupid, ignore him. 

Hopefully he will go to next DR appt to learn more about whats up, but lets be realistic, he is not likely to learn anything...he prefers to remain in power over you by making you feel inadequate.   Your going to have to tune him out and do what you know you need to do.