Major second thoughts...

When I signed up here I was totally ready and anxious to get a surgery date set asap.... I knew this was the answer. Now, after reading so many posts and seeing so many potential problems and issues, I don't know if I can go through with it. Thing is, I don't want to be this heavy for the rest of my life and really thought I could go a healthier direction. I know second thoughts are common after surgery, but what about before? Do I feel the fear and do it anyway? Plus, I have bipolar disorder and just for having surgery it is almost certain I will be VERY depressed afterward. I am so confused!!! Any words of wisdom? Thanks much.

I think if you're not sure, then you should wait until you are sure about what you want to do.

I think some second thoughts are pretty normal but it's possible to have some fear about something and still know it's what you need to do, if that makes sense.  If you don't know it's the right thing for you, then I'd wait.

I don't think there is any certainty that you'll be very depressed after surgery.  You might be depressed and might not.  If you are, you might only be a little depressed or you might be very depressed.  There's really no way to know ahead of time.

Before my surgery, I knew there were lots of potential problems with having surgery but I also knew there were lots of potential problems if I stayed so heavy, and I decided I'd rather deal with the potential problems from surgery.  I'm happy with the choice I made.

 To keep it real, complications are a possibility. But not a probability. There are TONS of people who had no problems post op and wouldn't change this surgery for the world. Heck, people who've had problems and STILL would have gone thru regardless. You have to do what's right for you, no one can make this decision for you, but fear is very normal. Just plan for what you can control, let go of the rest.

 I think second thoughts are common but I think it is very very important to go into this knowing ALL of the possible complications and risks. If you spend time researching and you know there could be possible complications and you still really want the surgery then you should get the surgery. I had complications and was in hell for quite a while. I thought I would be one of the lucky ones that would have everything come easy. But unfortunately it wasn't easy. BUT I would still do it again in a heartbeat and I was absolutely positive about the decision. 

I am not at all saying that it isn't normal to have second thoughts. It completely is. This is a big thing you are deciding to do. It might help for you to see a therapist to help you through all this and sort out your thoughts, to help you figure out if this is really what you want. Also I suggest going to support groups even before surgery and you can bring up all your concerns. 

We are all here for you and you aren't alone in this.

I think you should be 100% sure before you have surgery.

You have to realize that this forum is for people that are seeking  guidance and encouragement. You are going to see more questions and negative topics than positive, unfortunately.  Please don't let that sway your decision. A lot of success story people chose to go on without posting any more questions once they've had surgery.

Good luck

 I agree with everyone in the above posts.  I also would like to note that a lot of people in the forums post because they need advice because of their issues.  There are also so many out there who aren't posting because they don't have any issues.  I admit that I don't get on as much because I am doing great and my life has gotten so much busier now.  I wish you the best in making the decision that's best for you.  

Like anything else in life you will hear far more about negative stuff and problems from time to time as people don't write happy posts everyday. People come here for helP, suggestions and sometimes just to rant.

As a support group leader I can tell you that I have hundreds of patients cone to my group. Literally hundreds. And while some have had strictures ulcers gallstones bowel obstructions and other complications, I do not know of a single person *****grets surgery. I know some that may have had a rough time for a while and regretted it for weeks or a month, but literally I do not know of any people in my group who, after a year or so, regretted it. That speaks volumes to me about how lifechanging surgery is.

I agree with the other posters about being confident in your decision. Just as an FYI I am a week out and also bipolar and have had no mood swings or depression as of yet! It only gets better. I also have had no complications so far either. Good luck in your decision whatever you choose.

Your answer was particularly helpful, thank you very much. My bi-polar has been stable and I don't want to risk that, however, I do want to get this extra weight off. I haven't heard from many other BPs so I really appreciate knowing you are out there! Best to you.

Elle

When in doubt, pray it out.