First, congrats on making the most important decision in your life regarding good health, and good luck to you and your up coming surgery.

You will find on this journey that the people closest to you will be very supportive, with the exception of maybe a few who don't understand.  The real judgment comes from those that don't even know you.  Like this xray tech, my knee was hurt I was going in for xrays she asked how I injured my knee I told her I was running and something popped, well in the conversation somewhere it came up that I had taken off 50lbs of course she asked how so I told her I had an RNY, cause I didn't care I told everyone really, I am proud.  She gave me a look like I just stole a million dollars from her poor grandmother.  Like I cheated my way to this wl.  

That was the last time I ever told anyone, now I just say "hard work"

I had a real bad experience telling someone pre-op so from there on out I was tight-lipped.

Now, the way I see it, you can't argue with success.  I'm almost 3 years out and have bounced about 5 lbs. 

When I get the comments "but you look so HEALTHY for having ***'" I just say "yep I'm doing it the RIGHT way".

I am so armed with info and statistics that people really will NOT win an argument with me about it.  I had the "my sister is an RN at *** hospital and she says 50% of the patients die - I said "WOW I;m glad I didn't have my surgery there!"  The statitistics for RNY are you are as likely to die from the surgery as you are a gallbladder surgery.  Very low.  I know there are people who have complications and Dr's that don't give a damn, and unfortunately that shines a bad light on the rest of us, but we are our own best advocates.

Luckily I haven't had to be defensive about my choice for well over a year.  I'm to the point where I eat normal, wear normal size clothing and no one would know unless they see the PS scars I have, and even then they may not know from what.

Hang in there.  Don't tell anyone.  Its all about you and you don't need the "Negative Nellies" in your life. 

I was always judged being obese. People assuming I was lazy, because I was fat, assuming I wasn't able to do certain jobs because I was fat. I have been judged my whole life over something, being fat, to gaining weight back after dieting. They can judge, I am moving my life forward, not always sure those people who judge are.

So I tell people about surgery. Agree that most of the negativity comes from overweight to MO people. The other people in my life applaud me for taking the right steps to get healthy.

I have had people congratulate me for making the decision to have surgery and people have shown disapproval by their silence, when the subject comes up. Most of the silent folks are obese. I have lost over 75 lbs in almost 4 months.
I feel so good, I just don't care what anyone thinks! I can now go to stores and shop in the misses section. Nothing feels better than that!
It was difficult for the first few weeks, but now that I am getting the hang of what I can and cannot eat and changing my eating style and speed, it is mostly good.

For now, my taste for sweets is gone. REgular water is too dense for me to drink, so I drink Sobe lifeWater with zero calories. Strawberry dragonfruit is my fav!

The whole approval disapproval issue is important at first, but then success takes over and it starts not mattering...at least that was my experience.

Good luck to you!

Thanks Heather, I should focus more on the success.

I had my surgery 2 weeks after you and I have lost 56lbs and since I only started out at 236 on the day of surgery 56lbs has made a big difference.  I get way more compliments then anything else.

My post was more about telling people you had surgery or keeping it to myself so I can avoid their judgement.  Success or not, I still don't think that every person I share my story with gets the  automatic right to judge my decision. 

I only shared my surgery info with family and a few friends. I heard about the negativity that other  post-ops experienced and I didn't want that as part of my new life. I haven't shared with my co-workers since I started this job after surgery. They know I'm losing weight and they ask me how, I just say that I had to make some serious decisions about my health since most of my family has heart disease and diabetes. That seems to be enough to answer their questions. They also notice that I don't eat all the junk food that comes into the office (cake, donuts, burritos, bagels, cookies, brownies....etc.).

So far so good. My negative experiences have been few.

I don't get judged, and if I did it wouldn't bother me as I live by an "Eff The Haters slogan".  I feel one reason I don't get judged is that those around me see the lifestyle changes I have adopted. 

When somone asks I am totally honest in my response "I had Gastric Bypass and have adoppted a healthy lifestyle.  I eat healthy and exercise a lot and run 3- 4 days a week and at least one race a month".  Kind of hard to judge someone who has ran 12 miles on a Saturday morning before most people even crawl out of bed.

This is a tough one for every individual.  I tell people because I do know that there is a ton of misinformation and judgement out there.  I feel it's important that I try to educate and maybe help a few people understand.  

I know I was judged as a fat person.   I only realized in the past few years just how much fat people were judged and just out and out hated by some.  I was amazed.  

So it's not so different now people are just more apt to say "Oh you took the easy way out!" than they are "Man you are fat, you really should do something!".   There are many who will say the latter but it's still a smalle camp than they easy way crowd. 

But I couldn't hide being fat and a lot of other groups who may be judged can't hide whatever people are judging or hating them about.   So I am not going to hide this.  I'm not putting up billboards but I answer if people ask. 

Judge me.  Whatever.  I am living my life, I'm a good person, a good friend, give to others and help animals.  

And my usual response isn't that great but it's true.  To the "easy way" folks I simply say, "Of course!  Only a fool would take the hard way for anything.  I mean, are you still beating your laundry on a rock?  I hope not!" 

Well I was having a bad day once and simply gave a polite "F*ck you." to a receptionist at an office I have to visit somewhat frequently because of work.  Before we might have a little chit chat.  Now I simply walk in, nod with a impersonal slight smile, sign in, take my visitor's badge and head along my merry way.     

 I tell everyone...if they are going to give me crap I educate them. The reason why people always have such a negative response is they only hear the bad not the good ya know. But I have always been one to stand and speak my mind. 

After I have talked to someone I usually end with and now you KNOW someone that has had this surgery and is doing fantastic...