Is this a compliment?

Today a girl I work with in the after school program said "wow you are getting really skinny" which I thought was funny cause she has only know me for a month!  She noticed my WL just since the beginning of Aug until now.

She asked how I was doing it and So I broke my own rule and told her "surgery" and she said...

"Wow, you don't look like someone who has surgery, you know, like people who loss too much weight too fast"

I understood what she said, but I was rather upset with the comment cause I feel a kindred spirit to other RNY patients and I feel like even though she was trying to give me a compliment she did it in a way that back handed my people.  I made me think of those totally ignorant people who say to African Americans "you speak so well".  Like you think it is a compliment but it is really a rude and racist thing to say.  

So I just smiled and changed the subject.  

Hi Lisa! I think for what it's worth, it was a compliment. The girl is young and probably doesn't know much about WLS. I wouldn't worry about it. Take it as a compliment, I would.

I think she was just trying to say you didn't have a "haggard" look as many of us do soon
after WLS;  I truly don't think this was a deliberate insult.  Please just let it go. 

Oh yeah, I got it that it was her being nice.  I just thought wanted to point out that it was a comment that sometimes people mean well but to others it can come out wrong.  Just reminds me to watch ho I put things.  

I don't think RNY people look different then others who has lost large amounts of weight.  I think some people might look a bit unhealthy if they are not taking care of themselves and getting in the right foods and vits. 

 All those who don't care for themselves, look like something bad happened to them...whether they had surgery or not....it's nice  that maybe you changed her perception of persons who have surgery... 

I had the exact same conversation outside of my daughter's school a week ago.   The lady had just met me and my daughter made some reference to my weight loss, so the subject of  my surgery came up.  She said "Wow... but you look so HEALTHY. .. and you're so THIN."   I thanked her and just chalked it up to ignorance about the surgery.  I wasn't offended... just sort of amused by the misconception that WLS makes you look unhealthy.  
 

Sometimes I think we can be overly sensitive and make a bigger deal out of things when it just isn't necessary.

Not everything is intended to be an insult, and I think we simply need to take compliments at face value and not assign any hidden meanings or agendas.

Personally, for me, I don't see anything wrong with what she said.  I think there are many of us who have seen some folks who have had surgery get a little gaunt before they stabilize.  My best friend, for instance, lost so much weight so fast that even I became a little concerned, fortunately she did stabilize, gained a few pounds, and now looks stunning. 

I am 2 years out and at goal. I get told ALL THE TIME (after showing them the before picture)  WOW I never would have guessed you had surgery you don't look like you were ever heavy.


It's a compliment.