Is your glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full???

waitinggame
on 10/4/11 10:50 pm - Bowie, MD

I've been laid up after plastic surgery so I've had LOTS of time to think. Too much time to think actually. Today's pondering is about optimism and pessimism. I think that I tend to be a pessimistic person. My motto is "No expectation, no disappointment." I find myself worrying about the things that could go wrong in any given situation, as opposed to assuming everything will be fine. I know people that simply refuse to let a negative thought enter their mind. A gal I know had a six month old baby that needed open heart surgery. She just flitted around happy as a clam completely confident that everything would be fine. Meantime, I'm having a nervous breakdown worrying about this tiny baby having his chest cracked open and the myriad things that could go wrong. Granted, people around us thought she was just in a state of avoidance, but hey, better that than worrying yourself sick. What allows my mind to travel to that place of worry when she is able to (seemingly) be so confident all will be well? Am I negative or just realistic? How does one take their mindset from one of negativity and worry to one of positivity and hope (or can someone lead me to the blissful state of ignorance!)? In my defense, I will say that part of my mindset is that I have to prepare in the event everything doesn't go perfectly. Much like my plastic surgery situation. Sure, I could have gone into this thinking everything would work out perfectly, but reality (and my surgeon) told me otherwise. Therefore, I made arrangements so that if I were to take longer to heal my family would still be provided for. Well guess what? I am taking longer to heal and am far more incapacitated at this point than even I, little miss negativity, anticipated. So is there a right or wrong mindset? Do we will bad things to happen if we allow our minds to go to a place of worry and doubt? And can we prevent bad things from happening if we dance on rainbows and sunshine all whilst avoiding anything resembling a negative thought?

So tell me people, is your glass half empty or half full?

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes, "Some say their glass is half empty, some say their glass is half full. I say, 'Are you gonna drink that?'" HAHAHA! Perhaps a drink is in order!!!

Love,

Negative Nellie (aka Denise)

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

imkristy1
on 10/4/11 11:10 pm - WI

VSG on 02/13/12

Thank you for sharing your post and I sure hope your recovery gets better.

My mother is one of the most positive people that I know, whenever Im feeling down, no matter what the situation, I can always call her and somehow, someway, she will find something positive. I once asked her how she does it. She told me that whenever you have 1 bad/negative thought, to think of at least 1 positive thought. They dont have to relate to each other, but it helps if they do. If you are conscience about it, and make it a habit to think of that one positive, it will start to come naturally, without even thinking about it... trust me, I know... been there, done that. You will be amazed at how quickly you can turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. I dont think you should ever ignore the fact that we will all have bumps in the road but it sure helps when you have some positive thoughts to go along with them. I really hope things get better for you. Have a great day........

and on a positive note... Think of how GREAT you are going to look a couple months from now!!

Kristy 5'5" HW-224 SW-207 GW-140 Goal reached in 40 weeks! PRE-OP - 17 MTH 1 - 15 MTH 2 - 13 MTH 3 - 12 MTH 4 - 8 MTH 5 - 5 MTH 6 - 4 MTH 7 - 2 MTH 8 - 3 MTH 9 - 0 MTH 10 - 0

waitinggame
on 10/4/11 11:49 pm - Bowie, MD

Great advice. I do have to ask you though--do you ever get tired of having her offer something positive when you are having trouble? I guess by that I mean sometimes I just want to vent and get it out and to always have someone reminding me of why I should feel blessed does occasionally get on my nerves. I don't mind when people offer a constructive suggestion though. I know that sounds terrible and I think it comes from my dealing with a certain someone in my life who ALWAYS is trying to blow sunshine up my rear, regardless of how seriously bad a situation may be. I guess sometimes I just want to hear, "I know this is hard. I'm here for you." As opposed to being told why I should be happy or how it could be so much worse. I know it could be worse, but being told that makes me feel almost as if I don't have the right to be sad or down. Told you I have had too much time to think!! LOL!!

I am looking very forward to being able to enjoy my new body. I just have to get past this feeling that I'm never going to feel better. See, told you negative nelly is a powerful chick!

Thanks for your thoughts!

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

Jameen G.
on 10/4/11 11:13 pm - NC

RNY on 08/24/11

Gude Morning ... you asked for it so here it goes.

FOR ME ... my glass is always full! First and foremost I attribute that to my belief and faith in God. Through that faith, it allows me to look around me all the time and count my many blessings. It also allows me to see that any situation that might come my way, there are a zillion situations that are worst than mine. My father used to say ... there isn't anything that I can go through that someone has not already been through! I hear those words in my head all the time.

I also believe we have choices. I choose to live joyful and to always keep God's peace in my spirit. I choose positive people and things to be around me in my life. I try to find the lesson in the trials and tribulations that i might go through ... they can't possibly last forever! I choose happiness, contentment, a zest for life, new adventures, positive and interesting people; I choose to listen and learn, I choose to share me and my experiences with others in hope that it will help them in some way. I have no time for negativity. Negative people seem to try and drain my energy. Everyone is entitled to a "whoa-is-me" moment (pity party), but that pity party shouldn't last too long or happen to often. Way too many things to be thankful for.

Soooooo ... You only live once ... You get this one chance to do it right, or the very best way you know how. I choose to my glass to be filled to the brim ... hopefully I can pour into others!!!

Thank you for letting me share ... Have the best day yet ...

jameen (take a minute to smile ...)

waitinggame
on 10/4/11 11:57 pm - Bowie, MD

Thank you for sharing. I do think that having a strong faith is a big step toward feeling less hopeless. I see that is a common thread among the more positive people in my life. I am definitely in pity party mode right now, but this too shall pass. I'm looking forward to feeling physically better which I am sure will help me feel more positive. And I'm with you--negative people can really be draining. I'd said to another poster that I didn't feel like I was an outwardly negative person, that it was more my internal self-talk, but I'm sure it can affect my ability to be upbeat when I'm feeling inwardly negative, so I'm going to keep an eye on that.

I will try to have the best day yet! Because as we well know, it could be much, much worse.

Thanks!

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

gabbyabby
on 10/4/11 11:17 pm

RNY on 08/23/11

I have negitive nelly on one sholder and positive polly on the other. they are constantlly fighting. lately polly has come out on top. I can feel the difference when I am positive and try to remind myself of that when nelly tries to kill polly. lol

waitinggame
on 10/4/11 11:37 pm - Bowie, MD

I have to say I kind of feel the same way. I think if you asked people who know me, they would not say I am negative. I don't exude a negative energy, but I tend to internalize things that way. However, there is a big part of me that tries to shut the negative nelly up when she starts. Sometimes I'm successful, other times not so much.

Thanks for sharing!

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

AnneGG
on 10/5/11 12:27 am

RNY on 07/15/10

Good post!

My thoughts- bad stuff happens, but why worry about it? The worry doesn't help anything and just takes up brain space and energy. I would rather have the energy available to be creative.

I'm not a rainbow and roses person, but I do tend to be an optimist. I like this quote "If it wasn't for the optimist, the pessimist would never know how happy he wasn't."

I don't hang out with negative people because they are such an energy drain. I also don't like hanging out with myself when my insides are negative, so I work on mindfulness and staying in the present.

I hope you feel better soon! Think of how you are going to look!!!

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach

"Support fosters your growth. If you are getting enough of the right support, you will experience a major transformation in yourself. You will discover a sense of empowerment and peace you have never before experienced. You will come to believe you can overcome your challenges and find some joy in this world." Katie Jay

waitinggame
on 10/5/11 1:41 am - Bowie, MD

Thanks!! The quote made me giggle! I also agree that I don't much like being around myself when I'm feeling doomy gloomy. It does help to stay in the present and realize there is really only so much any of us can do to control things. Worrying really doesn't do anything but cause grey hair and wrinkles and frankly, I can't afford any more plastic surgery to combat that!! LOL!

Have a great day!

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

laura_vermont
on 10/5/11 12:35 am

RNY on 03/31/10

I guess I lean toward half full -- but I think I'm more of a realist.

Life is too short to focus on things that really aren't important. I was 18 when my mom died of breast cancer and one of my memories of her is picking the lint off the carpet, after vacuuming. At that point, she was already terminal and I remember thinking that there was no time for lint picking in my future. Life throws us a lot of "lint". I don't have the time, energy, or interest in picking lint -- I'm definitely a don't sweat the small stuff person.

I have gotten myself into a depression when my dd was sick (the mom in your story was definitely in denial, probably the only way she could cope). My dd, now 10, has epileptic encephalopathy. She was "typically developing" until she was almost 6 when she had her 1st seizure. From then, she seized an estimated 30% of the time day/night for 9 months. She wasn't able to function at any level. Our neurologist gave me a lecture on acceptance.... I felt that acceptance was inappropriate. I researched and found a new neuro -- long story short, she's been seizure free for 2.5 years! But another reason why I don't sweat the small stuff.

If no one is going to be permanently injured, die or otherwise is in serious jeopardy -- I'm ok.

High Weight 278; consult weight 234; Surgery Weight 219 Surgeon's Goal Weight 150 -10/27/10 - Personal goal weight 140 - Achieved 12/11/10

Is your glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full???

Our Mission

Follow us

Links

Select Photos

Is your glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full???