And I will definitely put "lilbear412" & her family on my prayer list...........................    Have a great day!

 yeah your right he is a good person..and it will take time and i would never throw a marriage away without doing what i need to do to make it better.  Last resort is walking away.  thanks for putting me on your prayer list.  

 My parents divorced when I was in the 6th grade and got back together when I was in the 7th.  My dad was going out on my mother, and he swore he had quit and she took him back, for years he continued to go out on her and her remark was she was not losing half of everything they had worked so hard to get over another woman.  She would often bring this up when she was hurt or not feeling good, I even think when she first got sick that she pretended to be much sicker than she really was as a way of getting back at him.  You know my dad loved my mother and he did quit going out on her when he was 75 years old, yes 75.  I remember the exact moment I knew my mother was dying, well I knew she was, but when I knew it was going to be soon.  The nurse asked her if there was anything she could do for my mother and she looked at the nurse and said, "Tell my husband, I love him."  She never spoke another word and died about three days later.  I do know that she had finally forgiven him, because it was in her voice.  I also know that my dad loved my mother, otherwise he would have left her for "the other woman."  I don't know if I'd be as strong as my mother was, but I will say I admire her for what she lived through and could honestly say she loved him before dying.  

Please don't give up on him with out trying to work things out.  I used my parents as examples because they had some very rough years but in the end they still loved one another very much and I am so thankful that she didn't give up on him.  

lilbear, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. However i will say that you need to do what's RIGHT for YOU. This is your marriage and your life. You deserve to be happy. Remember God doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle. You are hurting right now because you feel betrayed. It's hard when you don't trust your husband and it will take a lot of work from your husband to earn that trust back. Only you can decide what is best for you.

     As a previous smoker myself,  I must admit that I have lied to everybody about my sneaking and smoking too.     It dosent mean I would ever cheat or steal or anything else but I felt like a failure if I admitted to anybody I was still smoking.   I think I even convinced myself that I didnt really smoke since it was just every now and then when nobody was looking lol        I definitely would NOT base that on leaving your husband if you really love him.    Not everybody that isnt honest about smoking is bad.... its just something we wish we had control over but dont.    

 yeah i totally understand..its the amount of time put into it that bothers me.  and he said he felt the same way..ashamed..bad...but figured if he did it he was only hurting himself...and not me..so i am seriously not thinking about leaving over this.  Just that i need to trust him.  I am moving on with my life...i now have a job that i did orientation for today, and i started exercising again tonight.  These two things will keep me busy for while and make me a healthier me.  Maybe it will catch on with him.  I will always work on a marriage until its no use before i will walk away.  thanks for all your support.  sometimes just working on myself helps others around realize that if i am independent enough then they need to be more attentive if you catch my drift.    you all have so made me feel so much better.  uughh i hate what life throws at us sometimes.