I know that there have been numerous discussions on this site about alcohol consumption and opinions regarding the subject are varied. This  message is not about whether or not I should indulge - although I am 5 months out now, I made the decision before WLS that alcohol (albeit small amounts) would be something I would be willing to give up in exchange for what would be the new me. 

I just want to share a story told to me today by a heartbroken father.  I apologize for the post being lengthy - I will try to condense, but I think the information he relayed to me is worth sharing with all of you.

His beautiful young daughter (early 30s) was a married mother of two young children and an accomplished school teacher.  Approximately a year after her RNY, she started drinking and within 6 mos had become a full fledged alcoholic.  As a result, she lost her home, her job, her marriage and the custody of her two daughters. She's been arrested and has behaved in ways that has shocked her family and friends.  She has undergone several stays at in-patient treatment facilities and unfortunately has had numerous relapses.

He told me he wished that he had been aware of the potential his daughter faced for addiction "switching" so that he and his wife might have been proactive in the early onset of her drinking.

Alcoholism is not a respecter of persons.  It is an illness and as such, one has to wonder how much control we have over it.  Yes, consuming alcohol is a choice and a personal one at that.  Some people may very well be able to moderate the effects of alcohol while others may not be so lucky.  Is it worth the risk?  For me, the answer is no.  I cannot make that decision for you - I just ask that before you start drinking, you consider all the consequences it may bring.  For those of you who have chosen to drink, I hope and pray that you are one of the lucky ones and you control "it".

Let me end by saying I do not mean to preach nor am I standing on a soap box.  My friend's story just touched me so deeply and I felt I needed to share it here with you.

Be blessed

I think what this really shows is that we have to do the head work.  If we become addicted to food because we don't have healthy coping skills, then just losing weight is not going to magically give us those coping skills we need.  We gotta learn them.  And if we don't, we'll continue to behave in some way that is self-destructive, even if we no longer overeat.

That is so sad;  I feel heartbroken for the entire family. 

I am going through the same thing;  my daughter lost her husband to a damned terminal cancer
and she is sneaking alcohol.  I know this because of all the bottles in the recycling bin.  I'm not sure
how to talk to her about it, but I know I have to.

I hope your friend is able to pull herself out of the spiral and reclaim her life.

Best wishes,

I am so very sorry Lynn.  Alcohol is not easy on any side (the user or the loved ones).  I would suggest having a heart-to-heart now with your daughter ... don't keep putting it off ... if it is as you say, it is not going to go away by itself.

I have an addictive personality ... it has been there all of my life.  If it wasn't weed, then it was coke ... if it wasn't coke, then it was alcohol, and in the midst of all of that stuff, then there is always my trusty friend ... FOOD. 

I have been clean and sober now for 9 weeks.  No sleep-aids, no alcohol (the drugs have been gone now for about 17 years).  It feels absolutely wonderful.  My choice!  I can only speak for today ... today I am not drinking, nor do i desire a drink and all that comes with it. It's funny, that when you get straight and get out of the fog, then you sit back and observe everything and everyone.  I pray daily in my walk with God; I go to support groups; I started therapy 2 weeks ago ... this time I want to get it right!!!!

Praying for you and your family Lynn ...

Congratulations on your 9 weeks sober!

Personally, I didn't "get" alcoholism until after my surgery.  I have never been intoxicated or had enough to drink to have it feel good.  1/2 a drink after surgery got me to another place.  I didn't dislike the sensation.  If someone chooses to drink post-op, they need to be very cautious.

Thank you, and many good thoughts for you, also.  You're doing very well.

 Its a sad story which i have heard and seen over and over again.  Somehow my mother taught me right but for 3 of my brothers and sisters they missed the lessons. I do not talk to them..THEIR choice as they think i think i am perfect.  Its not worth my stress being elevated to be close to them and their habits.  They chose to live the way they do but can't understand why i chose to live the way i do and don't accept me as a sister.  My grandpa was an alcoholic and died because of it.  After my dad and his siblings and wife had to reap the lack of because of my grandpa's habit.  My ex husband was an alcoholic and dead by the time he was 52 of this disease.  And many many other sad stories.  So knowing i have an addictive personality also, an ex smoker, obviously a food addict, i just know i can't start or i might not stop.  Also, unlike my siblings who hate me because i am different from them, i chose to raise my kids in a family of no alcohol.  Have to break the cycle. My neices and nephews all have mutliple problems..alcohol, smoking and some drugs.  So far neither of my kids even want alcohol or drugs or smoking in their lives.  
BTW...i am proud of each one of you who either stopped or has chosen to live their lives drug and alcohol free.  It takes a LOT of strength and you really are considered to be different in this world that is full of problems.  You all can think of yourself as strong people.  Oh and btw...i think its fine to have an occassional glass of wine or drink.  I just chose not to do it.  ONE might be all i need to get started.  

That is so sad my heart breaks for the family and children. I guess when people don't realize that being over weight isn't a option it is a disease like anything else and unfortunately she switched on disease for another. Thank you for sharing you story that is one thing i have wondered not that I am a big drinker just with all the other restrictions what the restriction on that would be.  Thanks again for sharing

I've heard that alcohol goes right into our blood so the effects are pretty intense. I come from a family of a number of alcoholics. My Dad and Mom were , my Dad passed a year ago my Mom quit drinking years ago. I have two sisters and a brother that "I" consider have a drinking problem. They drink all the time. I was married to a "weekend alcoholic" . I used to drink some weekends when we had get togethers but never on a regular basis. My present husband and I seldom drink. Maybe it's what I witnessed growing up and what I see my siblings going through, but I don't enjoy alcohol enough to drink all the time. I do have an addicitive personality with food and gambling but all that has changed. I like my money too much now to throw it away and I'm trying to learn how to contol my food not let the food control me.
It's sad when a person loses everything to an addiction.