I found out Sunday that my husband of 4 years has been cheating on me since August. He was signed in on my parents' computer to his youtube and gmail is connected, so when I tried to google something, his email came up. He has been trying to solicit women for sex since April of this year, which was when I started my new counseling job. I had surgery in June and have lost 108 pounds. I get thinner and he can't be happy with me? I have felt ashamed of my looks before, I have felt less than others because I was heavy...but this hurt is so confusing because I KNOW I look better and feel better and I KNOW I'm a beautiful woman inside and out and he cheats now?

I'm a substance abuse counselor. I will have my masters to be an LPC in May of '12. I know that it is his problem and not mine. But why now? Why does this have to be so stinking hard??? I did not deserve this! He hasn't worked in 3 1/2 years and is bipolar with borderline personality disorder. I've put up wit a lot! But I won't stand for this. My 12 year old daughter and I are moving into our new apartment today. I'm so excited for the fresh start and optimistic that moving will bring me a lot of energy and self esteem.

Just looking for a little support from my OH peeps. All encouragement, words, stories, etc. are welcome and appreciated! Thanks ~Suz

Sorry to hear how things turned out for you. But at least you found out he was cheating. Please get tested for STD's ASAP. And file for a legal separation as soon as possible also.

I am so sorry about this. It is not your fault! I agree with the above person, you need to get tested for STD's and also legally file for separation or divorce. Also make sure you have some legal paper saying you get custody of your daughter. I would save all the emails and any other proof that he is cheating on you. Keep your head up and just concentrate on you and your daughter. I hope things get better with your fresh start!

You're doing the right thing by getting you and your daughter to a place that will be positive for the both of you.

Congrats on your weight loss.

OMG i am so sorry to hear about this.  and NO you do not deserve it whether your a mom living off welfare or a ministers wife.  NO ONE deserves this.  You should be so thankful that you have the type of job and income where you could skedaddle out of there soon.  I am very proud of you for leaving this relationship.  It sounds like with his slew of issues (not that he doesn't deserve everything in life everyone else deserves) that this might be a GOOD time for you to leave.  You have been taking care of him for to long and its good for your daughter to see how strong you can be even on the most horrible day.  Focus on YOU and HER.  this is a tough age for her also to have things like this happening and remember..however bad he treated you he will always be your daughters dad.  Even though you know you dont' have a lot to say about him thats good right now..try to air it to us here and not to her..you will look better in the long run.  Keep your head up and be proud you are able to start a new life easily.  and good luck and keep us up to date. 

 Suz, I am so so sorry for the hurt you are going through ((HUGS)) ... I can tell you that in the long run you will be much happier without him. I was married for 15 years and had two children with my ex husband, we had just purchased a house and moved my mom into the basement when he came home 2 months later from being overseas for the air force and told me he wanted a divorce. No notice no nothing. I was devestated ! BUT today almost 5 years later I couldnt be happier, my kids are happier and I am so glad to be rid of him. I see him with his new wife ((almost 15 years younger then him and his new step daughter)) and I see how unhappy they appear already and I think thank god thats not me anymore.. You will be so much stronger going through this and he is missing out on a great woman... hang in there !! 

Suz: I'm so sorry for your situation, although you are now heading down the right road.  You have so  much going for you....YOU have your head on straight and know where you are going......HE has issues and needs help.  You will feel so much more safe, secure, and sane in your new apartment with your beautiful daughter.  You are setting a good example for her to follow, and your daughter will grow up to be a strong woman, just like you.    I wish you all of the happiness in the world on your new journey.  AND, congratulations on your awesome weight loss!!!!  You are truly and inspiration for women everywhere!!!!  Years ago, I was married to an abuser/cheater......I divorced him and found the love of my life.  We have now been married for 23 years, and he adopted my daughter from my first marriage.  I wouldn't change anything.....I was given my beautiful daughter from the hell of my first marriage and I would do it again just to have her.  And, if I didn't have her...I wouldn't have met the man of my dreams..... Love him to death!!!  She was just married last year and signed a song to my husband at the reception (she's an interpreter for the deaf).......not a dry eye in the place!!!  He's her hero....he truly saved both of us.  You will find your prince charming.......when you least expect it!!  Good luck and keep your chin up.....Now, onward and upward for you!!!!!! 
--Trish ♥

Dont blame your weight for his cheating or wanting to cheat. That is totally not fair to you.
Im sorry this happened

It happens, to many of us me included.  I don't have much to offer other than YOU ARE worth more than that.  It took a few months for me to get over the anger and hurt but now that I'm divorced and have moved on I look back and KNOW it's the best thing for me.  I'm so much more happier today.

I wish you the best.

((((Suz))))

Suz, I am so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that. I am so proud of you for taking such positive action for you and your daughter. As others have said, be sure to be tested. Good luck in all things.