Need Advice About Talking About WLS With DIL

Have you googled PCOS and weight loss surgery? Is there an article you can give your son? Are you close to him? He could then decide if he wants to share it with her.

IS she morbidly obese???  Maybe talk to your son if the two of you have a close relationship.  Otherwise, go the lunch or coffee route.

Yes, she is.  
I think that is a great idea.  My son and I are close and he would know I don't mean any harm by it.  I could just ask him if he knew that WLS was a good way to treat PCOS and their insurance would be more likely to cover that rather then infertility treatment.  It may be that they don't know.  I could tell him to have her talk to me if she has any questions about it.  Or maybe talk to both of them together?  I don't want her to feel like I am talking about her behind her back.  I thought I could just go out with my son and bring it up nonchalantly, like how is the treatment going?  Has she looked into WLS?  I don't know.  I would rather die then hurt either one of them but I know how badly they want this.

 go for coffee!  even if she already knows WLS is an option, you can let her know that she has your support, no matter what she does, and also that you care enough about her happiness to talk about a sensitive subject.  

 While I am certain your intentions are good and our heart is in the right place your dil may not be able to see that. There was a time when I had some concerns about having babies and if my mil - who I was not that close to had tried to talk to me about it I do not think I would have taken it so graciously. And had she gone behind my back to my husband I know I would not have taken it well. That is just me but because she didn't know me well, she would not have known that my heart was breaking and that  he just added insult to injury. 





Getting to know her better is a good thing regardless - and if she brings it up then you could ask her what her dr says or if he has had any suggestions - and if she doesn't bring it up then she just doesn't. I did not talk to anyone other thn my husband because I couldn't without dissolving into tears - like I said - my heart was breaking - everytime i saw I saw a baby or pregnant woman - or baby clothes - I was on the verge of tears. 

Something else to consider is that her insurance may not cover wls - or it is not a choice that she feels like is for her at this time - she knows it is out there and she has a dr - might want to consider letting her guide the conversational topics to avoid striking what is most likely a very raw and painful nerve. 

Maybe your daughter (as someone who had exactly the same problem) might be the better person to broach the topic. Then she could ask her OB/GYN about WLS if she felt like it.

I know you want to help her, and you're right that wls has helped many young women with PCOS, but if you don't feel really close to her, maybe she might have some issues with you talking about it.

I think the coffee-klatch is a good thing, anyway, as a way to just have an everyday kind of connection with her as a friend rather than "just" a DIL.(quotes are my emphasis, not yours!!)

Oh, Ladytazz, I don't think I'd touch it.

She KNOWS she needs to lose weight, and I'll bet she KNOWS that WLS is a great way to do that as well as she knows you had it.

I don't think you should touch the subject-as much as I know your heart is in the right place....I don't think it will be received well.

Think back to when we were MO.  We KNEW it, and we KNEW every way possible to fix it....but until we reached that magical moment that made us take action, the words of NO ONE made a difference.

Kim

But, WLS can be an "off label" treatment for diabetes.  In fact, in Belgium, it is used to cure diabetes, even in those who are not overweight.  Diabetes, insulin resistance, and PCOS are all "kissing cousins."

Not a good idea to bring it up. If she was interested in WLS she would ask you about it. And, there's no guarantee that would help her situation anyway. My MIL brought up my weight in a round about way once, and I didn't appreciate it one bit! You're treading on dangerous ground here.......

Here's another vote for approaching your son first. Bring some articles about it him if he is receptive. Even if he is not, tell him to take them anyway in case he changes his mind. Print out some of the posts from OH on the subject, too.