Lost my way...outta control!

 Have you been back for your 1 year follow up yet? Maybe you need to be scoped to see if you're stretched out. Maybe that's why you're hungry all the time. I would mention it to your surgeon and see what he says. 

 what would happen if it were?

 I'm not sure what they can do about it short of a revision but that's really getting ahead of yourself. Talk to your doc about it and see what he says. 

To be honest, at this point it doesn't really matter a whole lot in the long run what size your pouch or stoma is, because i think you already know that the problem is not nearly as much with the mechanics of your body (although I understand the issue of being hungry, I do have to wonder how much of that hunger is physical and how much is psychological) as it is with your control (or lack of it) over what you are eating.  

Tough love time (but please know that it IS said with genuine affection and concern): YOU have control over WHAT and HOW MUCH you eat regardless of how big your pouch and stoma are...

Lora

 I wish I had helpful advice to give you, Katie, but I just wanted to chime in and tell you that I am sorry you are struggling so.  You are someone that I always followed when I was starting this journey.  I've been wondering how you have been and was hopeful things were going wonderfully for you. I'm sorry that has not been the case.   

Are you food journaling?  Can you up your protein levels any?  Drink more?  

 Thank you! 

I am not food journaling because I don't even want to face the truth of what I'm eating. I could up protein levels and drink more. I could do a lot of things. 

Katie, how about checking in with us here on OH more often?  I know I've missed you.  Can you try coming here and posting "Hey I want to eat cookies" before you eat the cookies?  You could still go eat them later if you decide to do that, but could you just put it off for a short time and try to express the feelings in words first?

And what about trying some food journaling?  Think you could try to post it here a couple times?  I promise we'll all be nice to you.

 Yeah I think I am going to do that. Thanks Kelly. I miss a lot of you guys too. I think I stay away from here when I am not doing as good as I would like. I know I need to start food journeling. 

I'm not sure if people would be that nice if they saw what would be in my journal these days....

I need to hold myself accountable more and not avoid it. avoiding it is how I've gained so much weight before surgery.

ALSO one of my issues is that for me I'm too all or nothing. I'm either perfect or completely off track. I'm not sure why I do that but if I mess up or eat something unhealthy then I feel like the entire day is ruined. Even though I know that isn't how it should be! I need to work on that as well!

 I will tell you that many of the people I know "real life" who are beyond their losing timeframe and having trouble maintaining or have regained are no longer here whereas the people who are being more successful at least READ posts here (even if they do not post much, or even at all) on a regular (if even not daily or even every other day) basis.

I understand not wanting to face the truth, and I understand being reluctant to be honest about your struggle, but you HAVE to face the cold, hard truth of the situation (including acknowledging how much you are eating) if you truly want to change things. 

I truly believe that having a support system (including having people to help you be accountable TO YOURSELF) is one of the keys to long-term weight control success.  You have many people here who care about you, who tried to help you through the rough time you had right after surgery, and are STILL here to try to help you.

Lora

Lora, one of the reasons I still come to OH so often is the fear of not being active and going into denial mode.  I don't track my intake anymore like I did early out and TRY to live a more normal life and not be so consumed with WLS and weight loss, however I truly believe successfull WLS people for the most part remain successful due to interacting with WLS communities.

My experience with people (specifically family and close friends) that have never become involved in support systems are the ones stuggling and/or regaining significant amounts of weight.