I really need counseling.....
I have a weird skinny boy that can just look at cookies and not eat them. He will "forget" they are in the house. Really..my son was switched at birth I'm sure.
He knows there are no oreos in the house. Ever. He eats them at his grandma's house. She gets mad at me cause he won't eat that many and she is "stuck" eating the rest!
One of the things I did with him was take him out for dessert. Like it's a special treat. We go to really nice restaurants and just order dessert. That way it's not in the house and it's a great time we get to spend together. (Weird thing..usually he doesn't finish dessert either...weird weird kid)
I think therapy will help. I think it can help anyone. In the meantime be gentle with yourself and get that stuff out of the house. All of it. They will survive!
You will survive too. It's a whole new world (as they sing in Disney movies)
Deb T.
He knows there are no oreos in the house. Ever. He eats them at his grandma's house. She gets mad at me cause he won't eat that many and she is "stuck" eating the rest!
One of the things I did with him was take him out for dessert. Like it's a special treat. We go to really nice restaurants and just order dessert. That way it's not in the house and it's a great time we get to spend together. (Weird thing..usually he doesn't finish dessert either...weird weird kid)
I think therapy will help. I think it can help anyone. In the meantime be gentle with yourself and get that stuff out of the house. All of it. They will survive!
You will survive too. It's a whole new world (as they sing in Disney movies)
Deb T.
Maybe you could find a good alternative for yourself. I too loved sweets prior to surgery, everytime I was mad at my hubby he would come home with a candy bar or icecream and all was forgiven. There are some alternatives out there that we can have from time to time like sf icecream (really low sugar not totally sugar free), but I have found a good alternative that I can have every day. I found out that i really like qUEST cinnamon roll protein bars. They are 170 calories and have 20 grams of protien and only 1 gram of sugar. THis is my daily treat (I sort of feel like I am cheating) I throw it in the micro for a few seconds and it is nice and warm and sweet, kills my cravings for the day. My daughter has impuls contol and we keep her "junk food" in a locked cabinet. You could always keep there food locked up and not keep a copy of the key for yourself, until you are able to better control your impulses. We are all a work in progress, please take a min. to look at all you are doing that is positive.
rny 1/30/12
On 1/30/12 I begain my new healthier life, it is not easy, but day by day I will reach my goals.
Can't really offer much help about the changes you'll have to make to be successful with your new "tool", but I can tell you my experience with kids and sweets.
My oldest son (29), began gaining waiting when he was around 9 or 10, and now is SMO. Probably one of the biggest reasons he got that way is because I was just such a lousy example. I always had to have my sweets (hubby shared in this, too), and I never steamed or grilled or baked anything; it was always fried, fried, and fried! Didn't know anything else.
My other son is 17, and even when he was very young, he would stop eating when he was full; he rarely finished eating everything on his plate, and I always told him how much I admired him for that behavior. He occasionally wanted to eat sweets, but it wasn't a big deal for him. In fact, at his 6th or 7th birthday, he wouldn't even eat any of his cake; he told us he was "done with cake!" Somewhere along the way, he said the same thing about pancakes.
Now, at age 17, it's a whole different story; he has developed a real love for sweets, and rarely leaves food on his plate. He's put on weight, though not a lot, but I'm mortified that I've allowed my own bad eating to affect him! Hopefully, with all the changes we're making as I prepare for WLS, he'll get back on track. We've stopped buying sweets of any kind, and I've told him that once the sugar he uses in his morning coffee is gone, he'll be using Splenda or another artificial sweetener. No more sugar in the house!
Anyhow, my point is, even though your kids can resist sweets now, that might not always be the case, and you would be doing them a great favor by encouraging healthy foods every chance you get. I really wish I had done that, for both my boys.
Sounds like you've got some good insight into what's going on with you, and you're doing something about it, so I imagine you'll be fine. Good luck to you, and with your kiddos.
Beth
My oldest son (29), began gaining waiting when he was around 9 or 10, and now is SMO. Probably one of the biggest reasons he got that way is because I was just such a lousy example. I always had to have my sweets (hubby shared in this, too), and I never steamed or grilled or baked anything; it was always fried, fried, and fried! Didn't know anything else.
My other son is 17, and even when he was very young, he would stop eating when he was full; he rarely finished eating everything on his plate, and I always told him how much I admired him for that behavior. He occasionally wanted to eat sweets, but it wasn't a big deal for him. In fact, at his 6th or 7th birthday, he wouldn't even eat any of his cake; he told us he was "done with cake!" Somewhere along the way, he said the same thing about pancakes.
Now, at age 17, it's a whole different story; he has developed a real love for sweets, and rarely leaves food on his plate. He's put on weight, though not a lot, but I'm mortified that I've allowed my own bad eating to affect him! Hopefully, with all the changes we're making as I prepare for WLS, he'll get back on track. We've stopped buying sweets of any kind, and I've told him that once the sugar he uses in his morning coffee is gone, he'll be using Splenda or another artificial sweetener. No more sugar in the house!
Anyhow, my point is, even though your kids can resist sweets now, that might not always be the case, and you would be doing them a great favor by encouraging healthy foods every chance you get. I really wish I had done that, for both my boys.
Sounds like you've got some good insight into what's going on with you, and you're doing something about it, so I imagine you'll be fine. Good luck to you, and with your kiddos.
Beth
Consult WT: 312 SW: 274 CW: 244
I hope your therapy session goes well - disordered eating is a painful struggle! Start really slow with introducing solids - set yourself up for successs - and you can start to shift that message of "solids/non-sweets = puke". Dumping feels like a form of aversion therapy sometimes, but it will be important to replace what you can't do with what you can.
First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11, Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13, (1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.
First....so glad you have made the appointments with your specialists. Second...good for you for your honesty and for recognizing this issue.
Like you...sweets were my greatest issue. It was not uncommon for my only food intake pre surgery to be sweets....all day long. Sugar was my to go food for dealing with life. It was a major problem. I wanted to be a dumper. I wanted that extra element to this surgery to help keep me on track. Because most people do not dump...I fell into the do not dump category. The fear of dumping however kept me compliant and away from sweets for 1 full year.
My family, like your children, can self limit their sweets and portions. My 36, who lies at home, is still very athletic and still plays organized sports. But I, like you, have an issue. What can you do to keep the sweets out of the house? My daughter eats cookies every night, one or two, but she keeps them in her room away from me so they are not an issue for me. She also buys a brand I don't like.
My husband keeps his in his locker at work.
I cannot tell you the YEARS, literally years, I have felt guilty about not allowing/wanting this stuff in the house. I binge, they don't. I finally had to come to terms with the reality I can't have it around...period. But they, if they have to have something sweet, can keep it at work, etc. Can your kids have something sweet at school perhaps. If they want something sweet can you buy one candy bar each...no more for them? Or take them to buy one ice cream but not bring any into the house.
Until you can reach that self control point, I would not allow it in the house. Last Thanksgiving I baked 3 or 4 pies. Like I said, my family can self limit. Well here I go....get out of bed and eat a big piece for breakfast. A little later at lunch I eat another big piece of pie....another for an afternoon snack....another for dessert after dinner. The next day the cycle starts again. I sat on the sofa so angry with myself. Here the day was beginning and they could care less about the pies, but all I could think about were those pies. I finally jumped up from the sofa, practically ran into the kitchen and chunked all the pies into the garbage. I had to...told them I was sorry, but if I had a drinking issue, they would move mountains to keep the stuff out of the house. Well I have a sugar issue. I baked those pies fully knowing the scenario that would play out. They would eat maybe one piece, and I would eat the rest. What was I thinking?
I don't feel like I have really said anything that helps. I just wanted you to know I can relate to the guilt about feeling like you are depriving your family if you do not bring that stuff into the house. Sit down and talk to them. They love you, and they want you to succeed.
Like you...sweets were my greatest issue. It was not uncommon for my only food intake pre surgery to be sweets....all day long. Sugar was my to go food for dealing with life. It was a major problem. I wanted to be a dumper. I wanted that extra element to this surgery to help keep me on track. Because most people do not dump...I fell into the do not dump category. The fear of dumping however kept me compliant and away from sweets for 1 full year.
My family, like your children, can self limit their sweets and portions. My 36, who lies at home, is still very athletic and still plays organized sports. But I, like you, have an issue. What can you do to keep the sweets out of the house? My daughter eats cookies every night, one or two, but she keeps them in her room away from me so they are not an issue for me. She also buys a brand I don't like.
My husband keeps his in his locker at work.
I cannot tell you the YEARS, literally years, I have felt guilty about not allowing/wanting this stuff in the house. I binge, they don't. I finally had to come to terms with the reality I can't have it around...period. But they, if they have to have something sweet, can keep it at work, etc. Can your kids have something sweet at school perhaps. If they want something sweet can you buy one candy bar each...no more for them? Or take them to buy one ice cream but not bring any into the house.
Until you can reach that self control point, I would not allow it in the house. Last Thanksgiving I baked 3 or 4 pies. Like I said, my family can self limit. Well here I go....get out of bed and eat a big piece for breakfast. A little later at lunch I eat another big piece of pie....another for an afternoon snack....another for dessert after dinner. The next day the cycle starts again. I sat on the sofa so angry with myself. Here the day was beginning and they could care less about the pies, but all I could think about were those pies. I finally jumped up from the sofa, practically ran into the kitchen and chunked all the pies into the garbage. I had to...told them I was sorry, but if I had a drinking issue, they would move mountains to keep the stuff out of the house. Well I have a sugar issue. I baked those pies fully knowing the scenario that would play out. They would eat maybe one piece, and I would eat the rest. What was I thinking?
I don't feel like I have really said anything that helps. I just wanted you to know I can relate to the guilt about feeling like you are depriving your family if you do not bring that stuff into the house. Sit down and talk to them. They love you, and they want you to succeed.
Ah, gee, you sound like me with the pies! I've sort of given up baking (a very good thing), but when I do, or when I get a birthday cake for hubby or one of our sons, I wind up eating most of it. I always thought I was baking for them, but I think the truth was, it was just an excuse to have something I wanted, even though I knew I had no business eating it.
Beth
Beth
Consult WT: 312 SW: 274 CW: 244
I am a food addict. We made some changes in my house that have worked for me. Some people have already mentioned them. I too have an incredible sweet tooth. I found that not bringing the stuff into the house has helped a lot. If it's not there I can't eat it. I also keep things in the house that I can eat and that are a treat for me. I also buy single serve bags of chips (hubby loves his salty snackies) because it is too easy to reach into an open bag of the Lays "pounder".
I reccommend support groups as well, where you can talk about these things that so embarass us with people who are also going through the same struggles.
Being aware is the first step, and you are moving forward with a plan. Keep going and you will get there.
Wishing you the best, Pam
I reccommend support groups as well, where you can talk about these things that so embarass us with people who are also going through the same struggles.
Being aware is the first step, and you are moving forward with a plan. Keep going and you will get there.
Wishing you the best, Pam
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