Can I be 100% honest here? No judging

Wanting to have this surgery is the top of my priorities. I have been focused on this since December when I had enough of the yo yo dieting. I read here how it has to be about health and for me it is. I am just blessed I haven't had any complications really. I had high blood pressure in the Drs office they said it was nerves. At home or in the pharmacy it is fine or maybe just a little high. Never enough for meds I was told. I had sleep apnea found out during this phase. I snored so what so do lots of people never would have thought it was apnea!

I have in the back of my head I have to get healthy for my 4 kids. My friend died of breast cancer before she was 40 and she said the Dr told her the estrogen in her fat I believe was adding fuel to the fire basically and not helping with fighting the cancer. She died and left behind 3 lovely children. I said to my husband I would never forgive myself looking up at my children from a hospital bed because I didn't have the strength to say not to this bad food choice or skipping a gym visit. I have tried to lose weight for years since the 3rd grade I have been fat I want to weight what I did in 3rd grade 130 lbs. This tool is going to help me get to that point.

But in all honesty health is the number 1 goal but I want to be HOT! LOL I want to wear cute clothes I want to have men stare and whistle at me. I want to be told I am pretty and not just you have beautiful eyes. I keep looking at magazines with my husband showing him dresses and clothes I want to wear....he is getting scared. He knows the charge cards will be put to use soon! I hate being the token fat girl in the group. I want to be remembered not the forgotten one in the crowd. I met a college friend to me but I guess I wasn't to him. We would hang out together in college from time to time. Well fast forward 5 years later I see him and he doesn't remember who the hell I am. I want to be remembered when I leave a room. 

Hopefully I will have my surgery this May. My mom is fearful she said you already have so much confidence and think your **** don't stink I am not sure we will be ready for the Michelle after surgery. Here are my 4 reasons for living and why I am doing this surgery. I want to watch them get married, have kids, be a great grandma and die when I am old and gray with all of my family around me saying damn how did this happen so fast we just did a 5k with her yesterday to celebrate her 100th bday! Ahhh a mom can dream right! 

 Those children are darling.

We all have reasons for wanting to lose weight. Wanting to be more attractive isn't unusual. Whether you want to be more sexually appealing, more socially acceptable, be able to blend in or be able to stand out, have more credibility, or whatever, appearance affects us. Personally, I hate it when people remember me, because I know I'm memorable only because of my size. 

Here's to us getting what we want!

You have beautiful children! Honestly I think everyone at least a little bit wants to be hot as well as healthy. I know I wanted my health back and want to look good as well.

 Its the same for most of us out here. All of us want to be around for our children and families. And all of us want to be beautiful, goregous, ******y. And I do believe we all are taking health very seriously now. You are not alone.  
Your children are beautiful!! And they are very proud and happy of you!!!

Vanity had a place in my decision making.  Well... kind of.... I had lost over 100lbs previously, so I already knew that things wouldn't be great undressed... but that I could look good in clothes.

My 4 kids, and having lost my mom before she was 40 played a bigger role. 

You are beautiful already!  And, your children are too.

Laura

I had no co-morbids. I was just tired of being fat.

You are not alone!

Love, Love, Love this picture of your children. They are absolutely beautiful! Now, for what you wrote, Girl there is nothing wrong with what you wrote... (I say this as I'm waving a pointing finger with one hand the other on my hip and my head just "a bobbin".. LOL) Actually I think you said everything I have been feeling. My mother has Stage 4 breast cancer and it scares the living daylights out of me seeing what she has gone through the last 5 years. Her oncologists has told my sister and I we needed to lose our belly fat. So you go girl! I'll be on the seat behind you on the bus yelling all the way!

I feel the same way.  I mean I want the health and the want to do things and go places and not feel so tired all of the time but I also want to look good and like seeing what's in the mirror staring back at me.  I think everyone may want this even if it's just a little.

heck ... I am 50... I love looking good and wearing the cute little dresses... I do not care if another over 50 lady gives me "the look" for wearing short dresses... lol... My BF loves it, I love it...

but I still do not like the car honking and the whistle... not my cup of tea...  but sure do not mind when stranger open the door for  me and wait for me to get to the door, or helping me put stuff in the car... or follow me in Home depot just to help me... (yeap - even on Saturdays...)

You are not alone. I blogged about this recently!!