Seriously?! Significant other doesn't notice??!

I'm a bit perturbed right now and just thought I'd throw the situation out there to see if anyone else has ever experienced something similar.

I've lost just over 40 pounds since surgery (2/29).   I know that's no record for "quick" weight loss among RNY patients, but it sure as hell is the quickest I've ever lost 40 pounds.

Almost everybody at work has noticed I've lost weight this spring.   I've had colleagues compliment me and even tell me that I "need new pants" because they are getting too big.   I've had parents of current and former students comment that I've lost weight and a cafeteria aide mentioned it this week, too.   So, I'm getting lots of good feedback from almost everybody..... and, yes, they all know I've had bariatric surgery to help me with this life-long battle.

The ONLY person who seems to not have noticed is my husband.   Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask him if he had noticed that I've lost weight.   His response:  "Well, I really just noticed yesterday.... something about the clothes you were wearing."     

Ugh.   Has this happened to anyone else?

(I will point out that all the good feedback is coming from female colleagues.  I wouldn't expect a male colleague to notice or point it out.   But, my own husband doesn't either??   Am I expecting too much??!)

 I am female and while I can see two pounds on me I am pretty much blind to anyone else's weight. About a year ago, my boyfriend said he had gained weight and once he told me that, I could see it. I also do not see weight loss on anyone, including him. It is just something in me that accepts people as they are and refuses to see anything negative.  Other people's weight has always been an non-issue for me.  

Give hubby a daily report and he will then be able to see and appreciate your weight loss.  He will be glad that you told him and will be proud of you and bragging to others about his wife's success.  Some of us just need to to told.

I say give that man a great big smile and a kiss. He obviously only sees what's important, that which is inside rather than out. If he cared about the superfluous stuff he'd be one of those Shallow Hal guys that isn't worth giving the time of day to. It sounds to me like you picked a pretty good guy.

Kat

 I agree. :)

I've just started having my husband realize how much i've lost. I'm 7 months out and i've lost 117lbs and my husband has been really noticing lately. Not so much at first. My way of how i've looked at is that the first 50-60 lbs is like your body is taking the swollen puffyness away, then you start to loose the fat and pants size drop like 2 sizes a month. so basically you lose the puffyness and then start to really loose the fat and then people really start noticing everything all the time... ohhhh and the confidence you will gain. Plus ... you sex life skyrockets after b/c your hubby just can't keep his hands off you! just takes time. be patient!!! he will notice as time goes by

That man is a keeper!

I had a long talk with my husband about this. After surgery I lost 172 lbs. That's one-seven-two. Not word one from him. No positive, negative, nothing.

You would think someone might notice that I'm not even recognizable on my drivers license anymore. Or that I had gone from a tight size 28 to a 10. Uh, no.

Then I started thinking. I realized he had NEVER, EVER commented on my weight gain in any way shape or form. And I had gained ALL of that weight after we were married.

When I talked to him, he admitted that I did seem a lot smaller, but even more important to him - I was A LOT healthier. He had never concentrated on the weight because he always "saw" me the way I was when we met (which is lucky for me because we met back in 1987 when I was a size 8 and had no gray hair!). In other words, through out all of these 24 years he had been looking at my insides not my outsides. Of course I cried and gave him big hugs=)

Since my lowest weight I have put on a fluctuating 20-25lbs of "bounce back". So grateful that consistent with his previous actions he has never "noticed" that either, since I have decided I am not going to beat myself up over that regain and only concentrate on health now.

Guys like that are few and far between. Treasure him - he see's the important part of you. The REAL you inside.

Oh, and btw, congrats on your loss! Enjoy the rest of your journey. And don't go thinking 40lbs in 3 months isn't AWESOME!!! I honestly think that those that lose more slowly have less of a tendency to regain beyond what they can handle.

Your husband must be my husband's long lost brother! Mine said the exact same thing! He always saw me the way I looked when we met. He only notices now because other people point it out. Love him to pieces for it!

My husband married me when I was already near 300 lbs, but he never thought of me as "that fat chick he was dating" or "my fat wife," I was only just the woman he loved, and he loved me for ME, not for my wrapping. Now he occasional looks over my shoulder and if I have an old picture of me on the screen, he says "who is that" and when I point out it was me, he shakes his head and says, "I never noticed you being that large, to me you're just the same person you've always been." I weigh a bit more than my smallest, but he can't see that change either. He just loves me, and the outward trappings change without notice.

I agree with just about everyone else, he's a keeper.  You also have to remember he sees you everyday ...the dressed and undressed... so its hard to see specific change when your clothes start looking frumpy then he will see there is something different... sort of like when you just change your hair color a small amount people just usually say there is something different did you get a hair cut or something.  My husband didn't really say anything either till one night he went to snuggle to me and pulled me close to him and he found bone instead of fluff.... then the next morning I cought him looking at me... actually assessing me.. although I am totally comfortable in front of him it made me slightly uncomfortable because I could see him assessing.  Thats when he noticed.  And now he makes frequent compliments to let me know he is noticing.

I cut 13 inches off of my hair and my boyfriend never said a thing.  I think I lost about 100 lbs before he said anything.  Not a big deal.  I don't notice when he gets his hair cut.  You just get used to each other and  you don't really "see" each other like you once did.