feeling guilty about medical stuff

I think there are probably a lot of us this way here.  I have a pad of post-its that has printed on them, "if only irrational guilt made us thinner".  If it did I would have been a skeleton years ago. 

I have always had guilt issues.  Feeling bad about things that are both in my contol and beyond my control.  It's only in the last few years that I have began to be able to stop some of the behavior.  Not all or even enough but I have been trying.  And I also find myself apologizing for things that I had no control over.   

I don't have any great advice.  But know that you are in no way alone with this. 

I can relate to this.  I have Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction and I was so ill for so long before they figured out what it was.  I felt horrible to take the attention away from my husband (fiance at the time) and also the bills I was ring up.  We lived together and shared the finances.  He was constantly having to help me out.  Not only that, but being in and out of the hospital.  It all can make you feel very guilty.  Just try to remember that everyone deserves to be healthy including you.  If he were in the situations were reversed I'm sure you would be right there helping him and doing what you could financially.  Kelly you deserve to get this back thing taken care of so you can live your life without so much pain.  You have no reason to feel guilty.

I am the only one affected by the expense portion of things (but the expenses for all of the stuff trying to find the problem with my pain and with the 2 instances of blood thinning issues really hurt my budget the past 2 year**** my out of pocket max $3500 (but does not include prescriptions) both years), but I understand about inconveniencing others.  

I have to rely on my mom when I need help (although my brother is also local and could help if needed). She is retired, so takingoff work is not an issue, but she has a low tolerance for ERs, hospitals, waiting rooms of any kind... And especially with all the ER visits trying to find the source of the abdominal pain, there were lots of those the past 2 years  Plus, if I had to go to the ER or inpatient hospital, it fell to her to either take care of both of my dogs as well as her own dog (and it was difficult for her to handle Khan... if he would get into a fight with either of the other dogs, she did not have the physical strength or balance to control him) or take them to the kennel. So, yes, sometimes I felt guilty, even though I know that there was nothing I could do about the abdominal pain (not for lack of trying, certainly).  As the pain got worse and more frequent, and the scans consistently showed NOTHING, I started to worry that even my mom was wondering if the pain was real.  Once I had the surgery and was in my room and found out what the problem was, I just as relieved that it proved that there WAS somethign seriously wrong and I had NOT been making up or exaggerating the pain as I was to have the problem finally fixed. 

Lora

 I am SO glad you posted this! I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but it's been really great to see other people with the same experiences as me with feeling guilty about anything everything! I have anxiety due to it and take celebs but think I might ask to be switched to lexapro and see if it works a little better for me. I unfortunately don't have any advise on this, the only thing that works for me is to watch tv, read a book, and look on message boards at the same time to try to keep my mind too busy to stay on one loop for too long.