Friends after surgery (just a vent)
I hope this isn't taken the wrong way.....
But why didn't you say something to your friends right then and there? I simple "guys I can't eat anything on the menu at this resturant, can we go to XYZ place?" would have gotten thier attention and made your needs known right then and there rather than relying on them to "remember" what your nutritional needs are. You can't expect people to accomidate you when you don't speak up for yourself and let them know right then and there what your needs are. As that old saying goes "closed mouthes don't get fed".
At two months out I was just getting back to soild food and I was so afraid of having a dumping episode that I carried food with me in an insilated lunch tote EVERYWHERE I went. I was too afraid to rely on anyone else, so I made it my business to ensure that there were healthy choices available for me. Even now at almost 9 months out, when I travel I carry ziplock baggies of protein powder, pre-protioned bags of nuts, and other "quick" items that I can snack on and if need be make a meal out of them if there are no suitable options available.
I think you maybe feeling guilty about the food choices you made and are projecting a bit too much of the blame onto your friends. Unless they held a gun to your head, they didn't "force" you to eat fried food all weekend. Part of this process involves taking stock of our own actions (or inactions) and choices that have led us down this path. You could have easily asked for menu modifications of baked/steamed foods rather than just eatting the fried foods listed on the menu. Most resturants offer salads which while they might not be exactly protein forward, IMO would have been a better option.
Before you write off your friends, I think you might want to review this weekend a bit more objectively and really look to see where you might have been either a bit more assertive about your needs or where you could have possibly made better choices for yourself. I'm not syaing your friends don't bare any blame, but I think you might not be accepting enought of it.
But why didn't you say something to your friends right then and there? I simple "guys I can't eat anything on the menu at this resturant, can we go to XYZ place?" would have gotten thier attention and made your needs known right then and there rather than relying on them to "remember" what your nutritional needs are. You can't expect people to accomidate you when you don't speak up for yourself and let them know right then and there what your needs are. As that old saying goes "closed mouthes don't get fed".
At two months out I was just getting back to soild food and I was so afraid of having a dumping episode that I carried food with me in an insilated lunch tote EVERYWHERE I went. I was too afraid to rely on anyone else, so I made it my business to ensure that there were healthy choices available for me. Even now at almost 9 months out, when I travel I carry ziplock baggies of protein powder, pre-protioned bags of nuts, and other "quick" items that I can snack on and if need be make a meal out of them if there are no suitable options available.
I think you maybe feeling guilty about the food choices you made and are projecting a bit too much of the blame onto your friends. Unless they held a gun to your head, they didn't "force" you to eat fried food all weekend. Part of this process involves taking stock of our own actions (or inactions) and choices that have led us down this path. You could have easily asked for menu modifications of baked/steamed foods rather than just eatting the fried foods listed on the menu. Most resturants offer salads which while they might not be exactly protein forward, IMO would have been a better option.
Before you write off your friends, I think you might want to review this weekend a bit more objectively and really look to see where you might have been either a bit more assertive about your needs or where you could have possibly made better choices for yourself. I'm not syaing your friends don't bare any blame, but I think you might not be accepting enought of it.
HW & SW: 363 Surgery date: 8/22/11 
You and only you are responsible to ensure that the right kinds of food for yourself is available. Many people here have discussed bringing your own weight loss friendly food. I agree that they should not have tried to pressure you into drinking alcohol and having bad food. But if you were prepared, "their" food would not have been a temptation. I'm not trying to kick you when you are down...I really am not. I'm only saying that YOU had surgery, so it is YOUR responsiblity to ensure that the right types of foods are available to you when you go out on fun outings and trips and parties . No one elses. :-)
Well my friends and I joke cause between several of us being lactose intolerant, my WLS and another friend having allergies to wheat and gluten we are always double checking to see if everyone can eat. I'd voice my opinion more though. People tend to forget what doesn't directly effect them. Sorry your weekend sucked.
I was just venting in this post.
It's easy to say "you should have take your own food" because I did..but one of the issues is that we were out from sun up to sun down...at the beach...i rode with people and didnt have means to go back to the room (which was far from the beach) on my own and so forth...so yea...it was just not working in my favor...plus i was riding on motorcycles all day ...wasnt a place to put a cooler so i opted to put a yogurt in my back pack..lets just say that didnt work out either ..
I really tried everything...to accomodate myself...but things just didnt work out that way guys...this post was short..i didnt go into every little detail because the fact still remains..my "friends" were very very inconsiderate.
It's easy to say "you should have take your own food" because I did..but one of the issues is that we were out from sun up to sun down...at the beach...i rode with people and didnt have means to go back to the room (which was far from the beach) on my own and so forth...so yea...it was just not working in my favor...plus i was riding on motorcycles all day ...wasnt a place to put a cooler so i opted to put a yogurt in my back pack..lets just say that didnt work out either ..
I really tried everything...to accomodate myself...but things just didnt work out that way guys...this post was short..i didnt go into every little detail because the fact still remains..my "friends" were very very inconsiderate.
Height: 5'9 Hw: 285 Sw: 272 Cw: 167 Surg. goal: 165
1m: -20 2m: :-18 3m:-10
4m:-12 5m:8 6m:-4 7m:-3 8m-10:-28
what people fail to realize is im in my 20s..so my friends arent trying to go back to the room to eat..we werent in positions to carry around coolers because we were on motocyles theres just wasnt ANYWHERE to put it...(which i brought my own food in) ...they werent in a hurry to go back to the room after we had been out since 10am..and im finally getting in at 3am ...its very different ...
I voiced my anger several times...i stormed off several times..i threw a fit...and nobody cared.
maybe my expectations were too high to begin with..but there are SEVERAL reasons i called them selfish and inconsiderate..i just didnt list them all here because i was just venting..
Height: 5'9 Hw: 285 Sw: 272 Cw: 167 Surg. goal: 165
1m: -20 2m: :-18 3m:-10
4m:-12 5m:8 6m:-4 7m:-3 8m-10:-28
I understand that your friends did not behave the way you had expected them to. Did you talk to them before you went on the trip about your needs? That might make things go smoother in the future.
I'm not saying you don't have a right to your feelings. But do you want to know how you could do things differently in the future? Or do you just want to believe you have no choices and are a victim?
In the future you could:
- drive yourself someplace so you would have transportation
- carry a small insulated lunch bag in a backpack with a small ice pack and food you can eat
- carry food in a back pack that doesn't need to be kept cold, like protein powder, nuts, beef jerky, protein bars, tuna in a pouch or can, etc.
- choose not to go on outings that will last the whole day if there will be no suitable food available anywhere for you
- talk to your friends before you go and agree together on how long you'll stay and where you will go to eat
I'm not saying you don't have a right to your feelings. But do you want to know how you could do things differently in the future? Or do you just want to believe you have no choices and are a victim?
In the future you could:
- drive yourself someplace so you would have transportation
- carry a small insulated lunch bag in a backpack with a small ice pack and food you can eat
- carry food in a back pack that doesn't need to be kept cold, like protein powder, nuts, beef jerky, protein bars, tuna in a pouch or can, etc.
- choose not to go on outings that will last the whole day if there will be no suitable food available anywhere for you
- talk to your friends before you go and agree together on how long you'll stay and where you will go to eat
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Personally, I would not have responded well to you having a temper tantrum. That just makes you look high maintenance and doesn't inspire empathy.
There are things you can carry that don't require refrigeration. You could carry Special K protein water thingies, protein bars, nuts...the list goes on and on.
In the end, you didn't prepare yourself well for this trip. Now you are one wiser so the next trip will be better, yes?
There are things you can carry that don't require refrigeration. You could carry Special K protein water thingies, protein bars, nuts...the list goes on and on.
In the end, you didn't prepare yourself well for this trip. Now you are one wiser so the next trip will be better, yes?
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
I was agreeing w/ everyone about how you should have brought your own food and looked out for yourself, etc. I think if we all knew all of the ciru****tances, we would undertand a bit better. It does sound like your friends were insensitive. Since you did stick up for yourself, maybe it is time to take a break from them. You need to be a little selfish right now and take care of yourself. Maybe you need to try to find some friends who are interested in healthy living so you would have more in common with them. I can understand how your feelings were hurt....it's ok to vent.
BTW, they do make small coolers that you can put a little ice pack in. I know I've seen some that are the size that you would store a baby's bottle (actually for breast milk storage for moms who pump milk) and you could easity fit your string cheese, yogurt, or whatever. Maybe you could use that next time.
BTW, they do make small coolers that you can put a little ice pack in. I know I've seen some that are the size that you would store a baby's bottle (actually for breast milk storage for moms who pump milk) and you could easity fit your string cheese, yogurt, or whatever. Maybe you could use that next time.
Surgery date of 4/30/12 
Here's an example of a small cooler that you could fit in a backpack/purse. You would just need to slide a small ice pack inside to keep it really cool. Good luck!
http://www.amazon.com/Childress-TwoCOOL-Bottle-Cooler-Black/dp/B0009RNXO4/ref=pd_sim_ba_2
Oh, I just saw that it includes an ice pack :). You should totally get this!
http://www.amazon.com/Childress-TwoCOOL-Bottle-Cooler-Black/dp/B0009RNXO4/ref=pd_sim_ba_2
Oh, I just saw that it includes an ice pack :). You should totally get this!
Surgery date of 4/30/12
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