OT - why even ask me if you don't want my answer?

poet_kelly
on 6/13/12 11:24 am - OH
My partner (preparing for a job interview earlier today): Do I need a hair cut before I go to this interview?

Me: Nope.

Him: Are you sure?

Me:  I'm sure your hair looks fine to me.

Him: You don't think it looks too long in the back?

Me: No.  I don't.  But if you do, you have time to go get it cut before your interview.

Him: But you really think it looks OK?

Me: Do you want me to tell you to go get it cut?  OK, go get it cut.

Him: No, I want your honest opinion.  (a moment later) See how it's starting to curl a little here?  You don't think I should get that cut?

Me: Want me to get some scissors...?

I don't know what the heck the problem is but we are having these kinds of conversations a lot lately.  It's driving me crazy.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

redrider
on 6/13/12 11:36 am
 Remember this conversation the next time you think about asking him, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" 
>>>RedRider                     
Jewelsstevens
on 6/13/12 11:57 am - Crandall, TX
RNY on 09/18/12
LOLOL My life....
                
happy_baker
on 6/13/12 12:00 pm
RNY on 02/15/12
Those kinds of conversations are so hard to figure out. I have a girlfriend who does something similar.

She came out to ask parenting advice about her 5 year old son. He's been getting in trouble in school lately, getting kicked out of class, etc. I told her it sounds very much like the advanced classes she has him in are too advanced and he's not ready. Maybe he'd benefit from some time off. She said that couldn't POSSIBLY be the problem.

And then she takes him to a doctor, who tells her the exact same thing. Next day on Facebook, "So, on doctor's orders, I'm taking Will out of school for a year, to let him catch up to his classmates."

Uh. Great. Thanks for taking my advice...after someone else gave it to you.
_._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. 
Check out my video blog!  www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269.  Surgery weight: 233.  Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see.. 
redrider
on 6/13/12 12:07 pm
 Ahh, but he probably billed her for the advice.  Next time you should advise her in advance that there will be a fee whether or not she chooses to accept your advice.
>>>RedRider                     
nfarris79
on 6/13/12 8:15 pm - Germantown, MD
 Insecurity? How about instead of answering his question - which sounds like you're feeling a little of this  - ask him instead why is he so insecure about his hair? Is this really about being nervous about the interview and not about the hair/appearance/etc?

First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR  Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13(1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.

     
 

poet_kelly
on 6/13/12 9:54 pm - OH
you're probably right.

After he got home from the interview, which he said went well, he sat down to write a little thank you note.  You know, "I enjoyed meeting with you and the job sounds like it would be a great fit for me and I hope to hear from you soon," that kind of thing.

He didn't want to address the envelope for that letter by hand, he wanted to print it with the printer, but was having trouble getting the printer to print the envelope for some reason.  He asked me if I thought it would be OK if he address it by hand and I said yeah, just write neatly.  We proceeded to have the same kind of conversation about addressing the envelope as we did about his hair.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Adrianne_Dawn
on 6/14/12 1:04 am - WA
RNY on 05/21/12
 hahaahaha - I think WE ALL go through these types of conversations with our other half. 
    

_Donna_
on 6/14/12 1:25 am
Sounds like he is a little anxious about this job and is probing you for some encouragement and support, not necessarily your advice.
I wish him good luck on getting the job!
Jennifer M.
on 6/14/12 1:33 am - MN
RNY on 02/17/12
 I'm the one that does that in my relationship.  I'm usually looking for the man to pull me into his arms and tell me, "You look lovely. I'm proud to be your husband.  You'll do great."  (Or with the envelope, I want him to say, "I love receiving hand written thank you notes, and I'm sure he will, too!")

I can't not ask these questions when I'm in that worry zone.  But I try not to hold the answers against him.  He can't read my mind, after all.

    
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