Enough already! My RNY isn't only me

Since my first consult I have been openly talking about my ryn and how excited I am about it! Shouting from the roof tops for the last 7 months but now I'm just enjoying living healthy.

So why is it making me crazy that my friends have to tell every new person I meet that I lost 100lbs! I get that they are so happy for me and proud too but enough already.

I just started a new mlm business and in growing the business many of my friends are indepentant business owners too. We go to meetings and i have met so many new people which is great but then my friend needs to tell everyone about my weight.

I would like to just be me again. It's a little funny this whole change because the people that new me over 15 yrs ago know me as a healthy weight person. That is who I have always been but people who know me in the last 15 yrs only know me as the heavy girl and they are having a hard time accepting that I am back to the real me. They tell all and I wonder will I ever just be me or will my lose of 100 lbs be what they know me for now?

Sorry so long but thought others may be feeling this too! Also why do I feel that when people I barely know comment on on how much weight I've lost and ask me how did I do it.... I feel like I'm lying if I don't say gastric by pass when I want to say I'm eating healthy because I am! Lol. How far out from surgery until you can just say I eat and live a healthy lifestyle without feeling like I'm holdi g out info. Bahahaha I'm a nut case today huh? Pls note I'm so proud of the surgery and still want to tell anyone but when I want to... And not to brand me with it

I feel the same way.  I feel like I am getting the 3rd degree from people who barely know me.  When I say I am dieting and exercising, which I so am, they just don't want to accept that.  I too am very proud of what I did in December and know without a doubt that I wouldn't be where I am today if I had not had that surgery.  But, I certainly have been surprised by other people.  Like you, I'm the same person inside as I was before the weight loss surgery and I don't want to be identified only by my weight.  I hope that as we continue along this path, things will improve.  We are only a few months out really and we have lived this every minute of every day.  Maybe other people just need time to adjust.  I hope thinks improve for you and we can get past this.  Good Luck.

I'm guessing the reason they don't want to accept it when you say you are losing so much weight by dieting and exercising is because they know how seldom diets really work.    I'm not saying you should tell anyone about your surgery if you don't want to, but it wouldn't surprise me if some people were smart enough to suspect there was more to it than diet and exercise.

I believe because you are so open about it with your friends, they feel entitled to tell others. Also they are proud of you. I had a friend who used to whip her phone out at birthday parties and share my before/after pics I had posted to complete strangers.

It gets easier to deal with as others get used to you at this weight. People now think of me as this size and do not mention my weight loss much anymore. I will say I did change jobs, which helped my mental state a few years ago. I just wanted to blend in and not have my weight loss the main topic of conversation. I'm very open if anyone ask me about my weight loss, but I don't start the conversation.

Have you told your friend how you feel and asked him/her NOT to advertise your weight loss to people?!?

I guess from my perspective, when you stop losing and are maintaining your weight loss, then it doesn't matter whether or not you had surgery to get the weight off (because, at that point, you are doing the same thing everyone else is doing to keep from gaining (or, in your case, re-gaining) weight).  There are many here, however, who tell people only that they are eating right and exercising from the very beginning and never tell anyone that they had surgery. That, however (IMO), in addition to being less than honest, creates a situation where the RNYer is leading someone else with a weight problem to believe that the RNYer is losing weight JUST with diet and exercise and is therefore contributing to that other person likely feeling even more like a failure because they cannot get the weight off and keep it off with diet and exercise alone and they think that the RNYer is able to do so (and I think it is cruel to deceive fellow "fat" sufferers that way and disingenuously add to their sense of failure).

Lora

I had a friend who would tell EVERYONE about my WLS; I finally asked her not to publicize my personal business and she stopped.

I too think its important to share what rny can do for everyone that can benefit from it. I too agree its a disservice not to share. But to be introduced as losing 100 lbs is a bit much and I just don't want it to be people's first impression. More than anything that's what bothers me. But I will shall how rny saved my life to anyone Lol

 There are some people who want to be the one that tells everyone's news.  In my life they are my SIL and late Sister.  It is rude and inconsiderate but there isn't much you can do about it even if you get angry with them.  We were at a commuity benefit Friday night and sat across from an acquaintance, Ellie, who suddenly looked at me with great surporise on her face and said, " I didn't recognize you!"  Before I had a chance to say anything, the lady to her right whispered in her ear, "she had gastric bypass."  Later Ellie came over and hugged me, kissed me, and showed so much happiness for my success that I can't be angry but, yes, let me do the explaining when I care to.

And that goes for any type of gossip... it's wrong, don't do it.

Yeah, I am pre-op... and think about that a lot. I work in a small doctor's offce, so I will have to tell everyone. I mean - this kind of weight doesn't magically fall off after a 3 week vacation -- ;-)
But I also see patients, and I have been in the practice for 10 years... and fat for all of them.  I can only imagine that for God knows how long I will have to explain my weight loss.  I also work with the elderly and bless their hearts ... will say just about anything.