Why not just say you don't want to talk about it?

I heard that stat for the first time at the first WLS seminar I went to. I had never heard it before and it really made me feel significantly better about having lost and regained a significant amount of weight in the past. I always felt like a failure, which I guess I was, but it's good to know that statistically I'm normal. I mean, normal for a morbidly obese person who lost weight and gained it back, of course.

It makes me think about people on FB and IRL who will give diet advice. I'm amazed at the amount of people who give advice like "I've always done well losing weight on South Beach or insert favorite fad diet here". Well, if you've done well on that diet, then why have you done it repeatedly? I mean, if the diet is so great for losing weight, then why did you gain it back? Most people want to lose weight and keep it off--those are the people I want to take advice from, not the ones who are constantly yo-yoing!

I agree with Lora that saying you or i have lost weight by just dieting and exercise without mentioning surgery is deceptive.  Saying I don't want to talk about it is good because it doesn't have deception in it or half truths. But it seems like when a person says they dont want to talk about it the listener might hear a sense of shame or that something bad happened. Every conversation I've had where a person says I dont want to talk about it I infer that it's too painful to talk about for some reason or embarrasssing to them.  Im proud of my decision to have WLS and the results as well so I don't mind telling people I have had it.. Someone could say I don't want to talk about it but to me there is the possibility that the listener may get the wrong idea by the statement thinking something bad happened. But maybe that's just me, I don't know.

I think that might depend on how you say it.

Someone else said that they sometimes just say "Oh, it's a long story" and then change the subject, which I don't think implies shame, but it definitely indicates you don't want to discuss it.

I agree with Kelly... There are ways of conveying that you don't want to discuss it without giving the impression of shame. My favorite response (and one that I have suggested to clients who have already had or are about to have surgery and want to keep it quiet) is "I am working closely with my physician on a multi-faceted approach". It is polite, non-evasive, and truthful.

Lora

At first I wasn't going to tell people that I had WLS but after being on this board, and meeting so many great people through the surgeon's office I realized that I actually don't mind telling people I had surgery. Now, the sample lady at Costco who asked if I had diabetes because I was asking about the sugar content of something, I did not share with, lol, but people I actually interact with I don't mind telling at all.

I will say, though, that I do have a problem with overly downplaying my surgery. It's like I offensively give the "easy way out" line before they can do it. Which is stupid because while I do think this is way easier than any diet I've done before, It's not like it's easy--as if major surgery and huge lifestyle changes are all that cut and dry anyway! For instance, my husband has lost a significant amount of weight since I started this journey through diet and exercise alone. I often feel like when we tell people how we did it that he is more deserving of kudos than I am because he did it the "right" way. Of course, he wasn't morbidly obese either. I don't know. I'm trying to not qualify my answers anymore when I talk about the weight loss surgery, but it's hard.

I think I went off topic there. Sorry!! The key is, share what you want, and nobody is required to share their personal medical history; however, the more people who are forthcoming about WLS the more accepting the general public will become.

Reasons why i wouldnt say that 
People will assume you have health problems causing you to lose weight like say cancer? people will assume you might be doing drugs people will assume you have an eating disorder people will assume you got WLS people assume. i feel telling them part of the truth would be better then nothing at all  i know when i stopped telling people a bunch of people asked me if i was doing drugs, if i was back to my "old" ways (anorexia) and i have even the occasional "are you sick or something?" so maybe people don't want the Drama of other peers running around making up stories about them. i have had my fair share of "someone told me you ".........." 

A bunch of people asked if you were doing drugs?  Wow.  No one asked me that.  My neighbor asked if I was sick.  But no one asked if I was using drugs.

I don't feel responsible for assumptions other people might make.  But I do feel responsible if I give them inaccurate information.

well first id like to say I have never done a drug in my life, dont smoke and dont drink. 
But i have a long family history of them, my mother and sister, uncle are all DEEP into them and have lost 100+lbs from doing them that and not eatnig. 
with that being said people who know them then assume i must have gotten into them too. lol 
I agree with you im just giving some examples of why people MIGHT not do that. because when i did stop talking about it i got a lot of **** stories and what not for it. lol  I'm at the point NOW where IF someone asks me i simply just tell them had surgery, working my ass off to lose weight with eating right and living a healthy life style. All true :) 
 its done and over with i let the person know its not up for discussion any further.  (meaning i dont want to hear what people have to say about it, easy way out, not safe, so on.) You are strong to be able to pass off people's assumptions i hope i can feel that way one day! :) 

People are going to assume whatever they want no mayter WHAT you say.  If you just say "diet and exercise", many of them are going to roll their eyes, think "yeah, right", and assume (correctly) that you had WLS and are ashamed of it (reference Starr Jones and Aretha Franklin).
 
Even among the people that I chose not to mention my surgery to, I never had anyone ask if I was doing drugs or if I was sick.  I think they were just glad that I was finally taking control of my life and doing something to escape a 300+ pound body.

If you say you are working with a physician on a multidisciplinary approach to losing weight, that eliminates any speculation about drugs or illness and is not dishonest in any way.

Lora

 your lucky. i would have loved to not be accused of taking drugs, when i havnt touched one in my life. but i get your point. and i agree. again i was giving a list of reasons why i wouldnt simply say "i dont want to talk about it."