Why can't people keep their mouths shut

Scoobydoo061423
on 7/23/12 11:01 am - OH

RNY on 11/12/12 with

Does every single skinny person ( not you guys :D) have to pick fun at bigger people. I'm so sick of hearing "well your fat", "you can't be sexy if your fat", Your lazy thats why your fat" Way to bring people down idiots. Hearing this makes me want to eat, and eat. I'm having troubles keeping away from food ugh. So today I decide to put myself on a liquid diet (yup I'm crazy). Does anyone else have to deal with this, or has been threw it? How do you control your crazy eatting, and how do you let the comments go in one ear and out the other. I used to be able to ironge* everything. But I can't right now. :(

Reach for the moon, if you fail at least you will lay among the stars.

poet_kelly
on 7/23/12 11:03 am - OH

RNY on 11/04/08

No, of course not every skinny person is rude and thoughtless like that. It's not something I've had to deal with myself but I think in most cases I would probably not ignore it but tell the person they were being rude.

Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.

Scoobydoo061423
on 7/23/12 11:07 am - OH

RNY on 11/12/12 with

I can't stand up for myself at all. I get walked on all the time. I don't have a mean bone in my body as they call it. Even if people aren't saying anything you can still tell by there look. When I work with my skinny coworker, guys don't come to my resgister*...It's BS, and it hurts.

Reach for the moon, if you fail at least you will lay among the stars.

poet_kelly
on 7/23/12 11:16 am - OH

RNY on 11/04/08

Ah, let me tell you something. First, I understand because sometimes it's hard for me to stand up for myself, too. But standing up for yourself isn't being mean. Are you familiar with the terms passive, agressive, and assertive? Passive is being a doormat. It's not standing up for yourself, not saying anything when people are rude to you. Agressive is the complete opposite. It's standing up for yourself at the expense of other people. It would be yelling and cussing at someone that was rude to you. It is being mean.

Assertive is sort of a middle ground. It's standing up for yourself, but respecting other people, too. It would be calmly telling someone that they hurt your feelings or that you didn't like it when they talked to you a certain way.

Another way to look at it is that being passive is having no respect for yourself. Being agressive is having no respect for other people. Being assertive is having respect for yourself and for other people.

It's a really good skill to learn. I bet you could look up a lot of good info online.

And yes, of course it hurts if people don't come to your register because of your weight. Being treated differently, being treated as if there is something wrong with you, hurts. I'm sorry you have to deal with that and I'm sorry there are so many ignorant people in this world

Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.

Scoobydoo061423
on 7/23/12 10:09 pm - OH

RNY on 11/12/12 with

Thank you, and ya I have heard of those. I am passive until I snap, which is almost never. I almost hit my breaking point last night. I actually cried at work....I felt like a big baby that needs to grow up.

Reach for the moon, if you fail at least you will lay among the stars.

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version
on 7/23/12 11:13 am - OH

RNY on 08/27/07

I am sorry you are having to hear so many hurtful and rude comments. I once had someone I worked with actually tell me to my face that he had never known anyone who was fat and smart (when he found out that I went to grad school at Vanderbilt)! I don't let such comments like that go in one ear and out the other... but I do (well, I used to, LOL) take that opportunity to remind myself that there are ignorant rude people all over (and even people who are normally not that way CAN be sometimes) and that just because they say it and believe it doesn't make it true. Someone saying you are lazy does not mean that you ARE lazy. Combat their negative message with a positive one of your own that reminds you of the evidence of the ways that you are industrious (or sexy or whatever).

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

poet_kelly
on 7/23/12 11:17 am - OH

RNY on 11/04/08

He'd never known anyone that was fat and smart? Huh. I've know LOTS of people that are rude and skinny!

Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.

Lady Lithia
on 7/23/12 11:26 am

Once hubby and I were in Colorado, we pulled up at a gas station behind another car. Hubby was out of his car when the car in front of us pulled away and reaching for the gasoline thingie to put in the car when a woman pulled up behind him and asked him to move his car to the forward pump. His response was, "Well I'm here now, why don't you pull around me to the front pump?"

She responded "F***ing Lazy Fat-A**ed outsiders"

I will always remember that attitude. What was funny was that while hubby probably looked about 40 lbs overweight at the time, she looked like she was closer to 100 lbs overweight. we were, however, not from Colorado.

~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version
on 7/23/12 11:27 am - OH

RNY on 08/27/07

LOL. Yep, that is exactly what he said...

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Scoobydoo061423
on 7/23/12 10:11 pm - OH

RNY on 11/12/12 with

I'm sorry you had to hear such things...I know it really does hurt your feelings even if you try to not let it.

Reach for the moon, if you fail at least you will lay among the stars.

Why can't people keep their mouths shut

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Why can't people keep their mouths shut