Odd post. Can I vent to ya'll???

I had my by-pass on June 6th. And have been VERY happy with it. But I have felt that I should be losing more weight. I also am thinking to my self there is more to this that I should be doing. I have been going thru a round of depression sense I finally got home.

I had several complications and ended up in the hospital for 20 days total. All that time away from my kids and hubby was hard.(we live over a hr from the hosp. an our youngest has a med condition of his own.so they could not come see be but 2 times.) The whole thing gave some really bad buyers remorse for a time.

I have found my self off track this last week.To be honest I have not been counting calories. Because until this last 2 weeks I was still trying to find foods that I could actually eat with out getting sick.  

I actually bought some sugar free candy!!!! and ate it!!!!!!  Rite now I am sooo disappointed in myself!!!!!!

I have lost 90 lbs sense January. which I am very proud of. But I know that the 48 lbs I have lost sence surgery could be sooo much more! I have got to get back on track!!!!!
I have got to start exercising! (up till now my exercise has been just moving around my house and getting back to doing my own house work.) I have got to count calories and do no or low carbs.This is a fight for my LIFE!!!! And I have lost track of that fact.

I started this journey at 476 lbs. I am only 5ft 7inch.I am literally as wide as i am tall. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!  I need a kick in the ass!!!

My youngest 2 kids are 17 and 9. My youngest has never had a healthy parent.My hubby and I are both severely obese. With multiple health issues.

I am NOW off all my meds,no more diabetes,no lasix or blood pressure pills. Just lyrica for my joints and where I broke my neck and back,an my pill to regulate my heart rate(that one is probably for life.). That is down from the 7 pills a day i was on not counting the extra pain pills I used to  get a couple times a week. I am out of my wheel chair,Hell I walked the store in walmart last nite. I have not done that in 5 years!!!!

I  have made great progress. BUT, i know it can be more and I am back sliding and that scared the **** out of me!!!   

I always tell my kids "WE are the ones responsible for our choices in life.yes at times things are beyond our control,but how we REACT to it is all up to us." For a while I have lost that.

Thank you all for listening...I honestly could not think of any one person who could get what I am going thru. But here at OH, I hope to find someone who gets me and where I am at.

My dear,loving hubby is supportive and has been fallowing my lead on life changes so our youngest will have his mommy and daddy for years to come.I just feel that I can't dump all of this on him.Not rite now He is under several other stresses rite now.But he never lets it show.

Thank you all for listening to my venting ,and sharing. Please feel free to help me out with that kick in the butt that I need. I do have a therapist but I have not been to her for like a yr now. I am thinking it is time to go back now.Once again a BIG thank you to you all.....

My surgery was also 6/6.  I am down 41 lbs since that day.  My weight loss has slowed down and I'm losing about a pound per week.  You have to realize yesterday was only 9 weeks out.  48 lbs in 9 weeks.  Wow that is over 5 lbs per week.  Just remember you didn't get as big as you are overnight.  So don't expect to lose it that way either.  Keep on doing what your doctor says and you will see the scale go down. 
Good luck.

Marty -- You need to be kinder to yourself. Period.  If you have lost almost 50 lbs since June 6, you are doing really well.  I know our expectations are that immediately after surgery, we will have solved our challenges, but... your experiences show that that doesn't happen.  But you have the tool now to make amazing changes, and you have begun doing that with what I think is a very successful 2-3 months.  We all slip once in awhile, but that doesn't mean defeat.  It sounds like you have an amazing, supportive family, which is reason enough to keep at the work before you.  I'll be very excited to hear from you as you continue your amazing progress and your new healthy life continues to unfold.  Congrats! And keep up the good work.

Okay please dont let this sound mean because i sometimes word things wrong
but im not sure why your upset with your weight loss?
the surgery is not magic.  your loosing over 5 lbs a week if you look at your weight loss over all since your surgery...
thats more then most people lose. most people loose 2-3 lbs a week.  so that means your doing a wonderful job.. sorry about the complications. but i really think you should be realistic about it. 
anyways keep up the good work. 

Sorry to hear how much you are suffering. You may have hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the depression. It takes a lot to come back from surgery, not to mention your extra complications and the stess caused by family separation.

You did the right thing to bring it here; so far I have found this to be a generally supportive community. I'm also hoping you will consider both seeing a counselor and talking to your family doctor about it. A combination of someone to help you find some new tools for coping, and perhaps some medication - even if short term - will help you get over the hump.

Good luck, and remember: the glass is half full!  (Make sure it's full of PROTEIN!) LOL. 48# in 2 months is nothing to sneeze at! Celebrate your successes and work your program.

You are doing very well, in spite of all your challenges! Seriously, the fact that you have been losing that much weight is better than where you were before you started this new journey.  And, look at all the meds you've come off too, this is huge in itself.  Keep your eye on the positive and get rid of that negative energy, you have no reason t be disappointed.  I understand that sometimes we just want that miraculous weight lost to be more, but it will take time.  Just think about a year from now and where your progress will be by then.  Keep in sight of the big picture, which is this will be a daily battle but at the same time you did the right thing by getting this surgery.  It will get you there and teach you better eating habits.  I think you are dealing with a lot of psychological issues about your loss and your current life with your family.  Keep your chin held high and move forward.  We all have our bad days, but in the end look what you've done for yourself.  You took your bootstraps up and marched to a better you.  Patience is a virtue!

I am two weeks after my surgery and down a total of 27lbs from two weeks prior to surgery.  I keep wishing the scale would say more, but realize my expectations are too high.  When I read your post it reminded me that I think we all want it so bad, that we want it to happen now.  That'd be nice, but I guess like the above poster said, it'll take time because it took time for us all to put this weight on too.

Hang in there, you're definitely not alone!  You're doing awesome:) 

 Thank you all, I guess I am losing my perspective on things. And Courtney it did not sound mean, sounded like a friend helping a friend . You all are rite it took years to get this big. And my emotions ,and bad eating habits are all part of it.

Time, Time, man i wish i could either speed it up or go back and not get this sick to begin with.
At least now I am healthy enough and mobile enough to be able to move around and start exercising again.

Years ago I was into aerobics and weight lifting. I want some of that back. But  I have to remember to keep it real. I am 43, but I ain't old yet. It's just a number not a life style.

Thanks for the feed back and more would be GREATLY appreciated.

Take it from someone that is 3+ years out-this is a marathon, not a 100 yard dash.

Take advantage of this time to modify your lifestyle by making good food choices and moving your body-EVERY DAY.  As good as you already feel from the weight you've lost, trust me, you can't even dream about how good you'll feel at goal weight! 

I grew up with two SMO parents-both already dead.  I am 47.  I should not be without parents this early in life (both gone before my 45th birthday).  My dad died from heart/sleep apnea problems at 62, my mom of advanced Alzheimer's at 64.  WAY TOO YOUNG. 

I knew I had to take control of my own weight issues so my kids would have a good example and a parent for a long time.  They are adults now, but I still show them that good eating and regular exercise are a must-and they are slowly changing their habits.

You will get bumps and bruises along the way.  It is okay to make mistakes AS LONG AS YOU LEARN FROM THEM.  This is a learning process. Please make the most of this time when you will lose fast (and Missy, 48 lbs in 9 weeks is GREAT LOSS!) and change your ways for good.  Get those kids involved!  Go to the park, walk the trails, throw a Frisbee, play tennis-find activities you can do as a family and DO THEM. 

It sounds like you have a wonderful family-make your health a priority so you can by your best for them.  You are special, and you deserve it.

Hugs

One quick question.  If someone else wrote this message, what would you tell them? At 9 weeks out, you body is still adjusting to the surgery. Your weight loss is telling me that you are doing everything right.   This is a marathon that we are traveling, not a sprint.  We're in for the long haul.  You are still learning what your body can handle.  Oh  Dear Lord,   I'm just about 3 years out and I'm still learning what I can handle and can't.  Please don't beat yourself up for one mistake.  We all make mistakes.  This is how we learn and move on.  You said that your backsliding.  NO YOU"RE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you're posting this,  that's not going backwards.  You're  charting yourself to move forward.  Does your sugeon's office have a support group?  How about OA(overeaters any.)  You need to go somewhere for support. Posting quesions here more often? Other wls support groups on line?

Don't be so hard on yourself please. If you are realizing that you could do better you are already taking the fisrt step. You realize that you could work harder and have come here. You know that you can do this--you already are!! Just keep plodding along making good choices and you will be fine. I do think a support group would be a great idea. I haven't had surgery yet --my date is th e29th but I have been to support group twice and really enjoyed it. It was such an encouragement to meet others who have been where I will be soon and have had great success. Even reading and posting here can help so much. So hang around and join in!!