Living a lie, my own personal mid life crisis...
Long story short, I started smoking and drinking. Where have you heard that before, right?
So, now after falling on my butt drunk, and suspecting an ulcer I am going to stop. I am not an alcoholic, I don't crave alcohol, and can stop after one or two drinks with ease. But I realize I have started to slide down a slippery slope and need to pull it together before something really terrible happens.
Questions: Do nicotine replacements such as gum and lozenges cause ulcers also? Should I rely on a patch?
Believe it or not, at 39 years old I have started hanging out with the "wrong crowd". Really hard partying people, and while it was fun, I have to get back to my boring life with my family. It's time to put the cell phone down, say "no" to invitations and such. It's not good for my health, at 39 I don't need to be in a bar acting foolish.
There. Now that it's in writing, I feel better.
So, now after falling on my butt drunk, and suspecting an ulcer I am going to stop. I am not an alcoholic, I don't crave alcohol, and can stop after one or two drinks with ease. But I realize I have started to slide down a slippery slope and need to pull it together before something really terrible happens.
Questions: Do nicotine replacements such as gum and lozenges cause ulcers also? Should I rely on a patch?
Believe it or not, at 39 years old I have started hanging out with the "wrong crowd". Really hard partying people, and while it was fun, I have to get back to my boring life with my family. It's time to put the cell phone down, say "no" to invitations and such. It's not good for my health, at 39 I don't need to be in a bar acting foolish.
There. Now that it's in writing, I feel better.
I am SOOOOO proud of you! You are recognizing a problem and you are working on a solution... I have NO doubt you will get this under control and will be better for it... if you suspect an ulser go get that checked out.
Family Dr. 06/05/2012 Referral Received 06/28/2012 Orientation 08/01/2012 NP 08/27/2012
SW 08/28/2012 Nut Class 08/27/2012
NUT 10/01/2012 PS 10/01/2012
Surgeon Dr. Cyriac 12/07/2012 **SURGERY JAN 30, 2013**
Smart move to give up partying. Be gentle and forgiving with yourself. I think its a stage that lots of post-ops go through. But you've recognized that lifestyle doesn't actually add any value or quality to your life. Find some new hobbies and build a healthier social circle. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Sandy Surgery Jan.18,2012 with Dr. Timothy Jackson at TWH.
You are so wise to get a hold of this early on because it will only get harder. I am really proud of you , and happy for you.
I know a 37 y/o ( actually my granddaughter's former stepmother , whom we love) who several years ago fell into this pattern and she will not stop and now has some sort of liver cancer and has two children and she is still out "having a good time" she never was like that before RNY, but it sure is fun to party and have attention instead of stay home and be bored and take care of kids and do housework.
I used to drink every day before surgery( I quit about 2 month prior) and seeing your story and many others makes me vary leery of ever drinking again.
I know from experience that it is hard but if you are ate a bar you could order non alcohol or in a group what I have done is put my crystal lite in my wine glass , sorry if that is not very helpful.
I know a 37 y/o ( actually my granddaughter's former stepmother , whom we love) who several years ago fell into this pattern and she will not stop and now has some sort of liver cancer and has two children and she is still out "having a good time" she never was like that before RNY, but it sure is fun to party and have attention instead of stay home and be bored and take care of kids and do housework.
I used to drink every day before surgery( I quit about 2 month prior) and seeing your story and many others makes me vary leery of ever drinking again.
I know from experience that it is hard but if you are ate a bar you could order non alcohol or in a group what I have done is put my crystal lite in my wine glass , sorry if that is not very helpful.
Donna Q. --5'8" -60 years old
Band 2005
hw320 sw276 lw with band 195 gw 160-180?
Bypass 4/4/2012
pre sw 258 lw RNY 162 cw 203
Good for you for realizing what a slippery slope you were on and throwing on the brakes. . . . a lot of people don't have the strength to do that! Unfortunately, I see it all of the time and it is very sad.
I'm in bars a lot now and other social events where a lot of alcohol is involved or served. I never went to bars before, even when I was younger. I never had the self-esteem or the inclination to go to them. I am in them now because my boyfriend is a DJ and I help him while he is working.
I order a cranberry juice and sip on it for hours (it is one drink I know I don't dump on****asionally I will get 2 glasses throughout the night, but that is very, very rare. We are offered drinks, and people constantly try and buy us "a round". We politely decline as we are working and already have our "drinks". He gets a glass of ice at the bar, but brings either iced tea or diet Monster to drink throughout the night.
I see the "party" crowd at every event I go to. At times, it's like sitting there watching a train wreck about to happen and not being able to stop it. I'm glad you realized that you aren't necessarily hanging with the right people and want to make a change.
As far as I know, lozenges and/or gum won't cause an ulcer. I wouldn't think either one would exacerbate it either (though I could be wrong), but you definitely need treatment for the ulcer.
I don't smoke so I'm not sure if you can do it on your own or if you would need the help of a patch. I would suggest talking to your family doctor about all of this and get their input. He/she may want to send you to a GI doctor for treatment of any ulcers.
Either way, hope you feel better, and I hope this helped!
HW 287, GW 150, CW 168 ** Band to RNY 05/29/12 **
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? Join us-Lightweights Board!
I have recently learned that alcohol becomes problematic for many people after RNY. I am so glad that you recognize that you have a problem. That is an enormous step. I am including this questionnaire which I finally turned to after trying to limit my drinking for some time. It just wasn't working for me. I still had my job, my home and friends but answered yes to several of these questions.
Take this quiz and answer HONESTLY. Remember, it is only you who will be reading it.
BTW, my life is better than it has ever been! 3 years and 2 months since my last glass of wine!
IS A.A. FOR YOU?
Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A.a try —
whether you think it can help you.
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions.
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.) YesNo
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to. YesNo
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink ****tails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually. YesNo
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially." YesNo
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, *****ally can take it or leave it. YesNo
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking. YesNo
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime. YesNo
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more. YesNo
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop. YesNo
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk. YesNo
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking. YesNo
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired. YesNo
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves — the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call. A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS© is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
Take this quiz and answer HONESTLY. Remember, it is only you who will be reading it.
BTW, my life is better than it has ever been! 3 years and 2 months since my last glass of wine!
IS A.A. FOR YOU?
Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A.a try —
whether you think it can help you.
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions.
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.) YesNo
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to. YesNo
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink ****tails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually. YesNo
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially." YesNo
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, *****ally can take it or leave it. YesNo
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking. YesNo
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime. YesNo
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more. YesNo
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop. YesNo
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk. YesNo
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking. YesNo
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired. YesNo
Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves — the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call. A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS© is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
- The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.
- A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes.
- Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Copyright © by The A.A. Grapevine, Inc.;
reprinted with permission
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