Numerous NSV's and one not so great moment with a work collegue...
Hi all!
Let me start off by saying that the NSV's by far outweigh the not so great moment but at the same time I think it drove home the fact that not everyone believes that WLS is a life saving tool - but the cheaters way out. Let me start by talking about the NSV's....something as simple as being able to put the steering wheel all the way down in my car is an amazing feeling. Before, I could only tilt it down a fraction before it would hit my belly. Now - no problem! Another one is to put my hands on my knees and actually be able to put my hands on my knees and not the fat and skin around them. Again, this seems so ridiculous to my family but unless you've lived in a body that was 466 pounds - you'll never understand a NSV like that! :) Another one is fitting into a seat at the movie theater comfortably - with both arm rests down as well as being able to sit comfortably in a chair at a restaurant and not be hanging out over the sides. I haven't had the courage to try a booth as of yet but I will as I continue to loose.
Now for the not so great moment. I was at work last week and ran into a work collegue that I haven't seen for awhile (we work in different buildings) and she commented how great I looked. However she quickly followed that up with the question, "You're not doing anything artificial are you?" I played stupid and asked her what she meant by that and she said, "You know...like surgery or something." I know I shouldn't have let if affect me the way it did but I was immediately crushed. This is a woman who is a mutual friend with a good friend of mine who had WLS almost 2 years ago and supported her from jump street so I was shocked by her response. I did tell her that I had gastric bypass 3 months ago and that it was a decision that not only has improved my life but most certainly saved it - in my ways. She gave me a smile and told me that she was happy for me. My question to the veterans here is this......does dealing with this type of negativity get any easier the further out you are? How do you respond when it happens?
Jennifer
Let me start off by saying that the NSV's by far outweigh the not so great moment but at the same time I think it drove home the fact that not everyone believes that WLS is a life saving tool - but the cheaters way out. Let me start by talking about the NSV's....something as simple as being able to put the steering wheel all the way down in my car is an amazing feeling. Before, I could only tilt it down a fraction before it would hit my belly. Now - no problem! Another one is to put my hands on my knees and actually be able to put my hands on my knees and not the fat and skin around them. Again, this seems so ridiculous to my family but unless you've lived in a body that was 466 pounds - you'll never understand a NSV like that! :) Another one is fitting into a seat at the movie theater comfortably - with both arm rests down as well as being able to sit comfortably in a chair at a restaurant and not be hanging out over the sides. I haven't had the courage to try a booth as of yet but I will as I continue to loose.
Now for the not so great moment. I was at work last week and ran into a work collegue that I haven't seen for awhile (we work in different buildings) and she commented how great I looked. However she quickly followed that up with the question, "You're not doing anything artificial are you?" I played stupid and asked her what she meant by that and she said, "You know...like surgery or something." I know I shouldn't have let if affect me the way it did but I was immediately crushed. This is a woman who is a mutual friend with a good friend of mine who had WLS almost 2 years ago and supported her from jump street so I was shocked by her response. I did tell her that I had gastric bypass 3 months ago and that it was a decision that not only has improved my life but most certainly saved it - in my ways. She gave me a smile and told me that she was happy for me. My question to the veterans here is this......does dealing with this type of negativity get any easier the further out you are? How do you respond when it happens?
Jennifer
It never occurred to me to let it bother me. (It drives my DH crazy though.) I do not care what anyone says about me or my weight loss. If they are brave enough to bring their opinions to me, I have no problem telling them to go do some research and then I will have a conversation about it. Not one person ever took me up on that.
Start weight 263 Surgery weight 247
First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your hard work and weight loss so far. That is so wonderful for you!!
Now for my question.....How does having surgery qualify as artificial? Nope, my surgery was honest to goodness real, nothing artificial about it
Now for my question.....How does having surgery qualify as artificial? Nope, my surgery was honest to goodness real, nothing artificial about it
High 250/Consult Weight 245/Surgery 205/Now 109
Height 5'4.5" BMI 18.4
In maintenance since June 2009 
OH2012
on 10/21/12 8:42 am - OH
on 10/21/12 8:42 am - OH
does dealing with this type of negativity get any easier the further out you are? How do you respond when it happens
I'm not one of the Vets here, however, the truth is that the degree of difficulty (or lack thereof) really depends on you and your [proverbial] buttons.
You may hear of many experiences and responses. And while you might build an arsenal of responses, to have available for various situations - the verbal response only serves as a way to answer or respond a comment.
If the remarks hurt, you should search yourself and see why they hurt and do the necessary work to heal those parts as well. I don't know if you are seeing a therapist, that may be helpful.
Best Wishes.
I'm not one of the Vets here, however, the truth is that the degree of difficulty (or lack thereof) really depends on you and your [proverbial] buttons.
You may hear of many experiences and responses. And while you might build an arsenal of responses, to have available for various situations - the verbal response only serves as a way to answer or respond a comment.
If the remarks hurt, you should search yourself and see why they hurt and do the necessary work to heal those parts as well. I don't know if you are seeing a therapist, that may be helpful.
Best Wishes.
I can't say this bothers me but, yes, it is irritating when I hear ignorance of any type.
Four years ago when I had my surgery, a number of heavier women I work with made comments that they would never have weight loss surgery. The general consensus was that they would lose weight the "healthy" way...
Well, let me tell you that after four plus years not one of those women has lost any weight, and in fact have just gotten heavier.
One of them is now taking insulin, so who actually took the healthy way out???
With regard to how to respond, I would encourage you not to because ignorance is alive and well, and attempting to engage those who have such limited intelligence is a waste of time and effort.
Four years ago when I had my surgery, a number of heavier women I work with made comments that they would never have weight loss surgery. The general consensus was that they would lose weight the "healthy" way...
Well, let me tell you that after four plus years not one of those women has lost any weight, and in fact have just gotten heavier.
One of them is now taking insulin, so who actually took the healthy way out???
With regard to how to respond, I would encourage you not to because ignorance is alive and well, and attempting to engage those who have such limited intelligence is a waste of time and effort.
I am 16 months out and this weekend at my sons soccer game I told another mom I had it done and have lost over 200 lbs from my highest weight. Her response was "I lost all my weight the old fashion way, dedication." I have to admit I was taken back for a minute, but the comments do get easier to deal with. Now my dh on the other hand was pissed! Lol He asked "well did you tell her you had PCOS and all your other medical problems!!!!" I just laughed and told him that she doesn't need to know my medical history and I REFUSE to justify my surgery to anyone. It was kinda cute seeing him get all fired up. 
**SHELLY** HW: 316 SW: 256 GW: 125 CW: 118
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