Ashamed

Hello OH family. It's been a while. I'm posting today for some help. Where to begin?
I had my RNY 4/13/10. I was 396, now 185. I'm happy at my total weight loss but unhappy with recent bad habits creeping in. I am an admitted food addict and compulsive overeater. I find any excuse to eat. That's how I got into the place I was. I'm scared and I'm not happy. I'm 185 and my surgery goal was 165. I made it to 170 and decided to " maintain" there. I put on 15 pounds. My size 12's are tight. I have NO motivation to exercise, I always find any excuse not to. I eat every four hours, high protein, low carb but I fear I've been eating too much and have stretched my pouch because I'm always either hungry or not satisfied...that is until I gorge and eat too much and feel sick. Last few days, I'm shoving down whatever food I can do to stress. I'm worried I will end up where I started my journey. I can't go back...I'd rather die.
Reaching out for help...support...advice...

Thanks.

I may not be the best person to give advice seeing that I only had surgery a month ago.  But, you have got to be strong for newbie's like me, we look up to guys like you.  Hang in there.  Try to drink something when you feel hungry and see if that works.  Maybe you should start going to support groups in your area, that my help. 

Thank you for reaching out. I feel even more guilty now. Listen, I have 100 inspiring stories to tell you but the fact is, it's not always roses. This is a life long struggle and surgery is only the beginning. You've got to work at it...hard. Sometimes we all need help and encouragement.
Your suggestions were good. I have tried more liquids but to no avail. I may need to try counseling or group meetings if I cannot turn this around soon.
Honestly, sometimes it just helps to know, you're not alone and after I posted this I found another forum on here that was better suited to my troubles.
I'm sorry to be a downer to any newbies. Any other time I love to give encouragement and advice, I guess today, I just needed to be on the receiving end.

Thanks for sharing your story. It's an important one for newbies to hear. You can get back on track. It's going to be hard work, but you have to believe you are worth the effort.

This journey is a marathon not a sprint.  Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step to doing something about it.  Most troubling is the title of your post - "Ashamed".  You have nothing to be ashamed about.  Losing over half of you body weight is an awesome accomplishment.  Celebrate it!

Now for the concerns - we all have our demons that we must battle every day.  Look for the strategies that make you successful.  Weigh & log everything you put in your mouth.  Find healthy activities that you can become addicted to instead of food.  This can be exercise, a hobby, volunteering, etc.  Doing is what makes us happy.  Wallowing in our self-pity is what breeds guilt and shame which causes us to seek out our old coping buddy - food.

Remember the community is here to help each other.  All you have to do is ask.

Good luck & hold your head high!

Thanks Mike. Great advice. I really, really appreciate it. :o)

I would suggest three things.  Well, actually four.  First, there is no reason to be ashamed, so let go of that.  Second, find a local support group..  Or two.  Perhaps a WLS support group and an Overeater's Anonymous group.  Third, come here for encouragement and ideas and to vent when you need to.  Sometimes when I feel the urge to snack, I come here and post instead (and it works!).  Fourth, find a counselor who has some experience with food addiction.  A qualified counselor can help you understand what's going on and can work with you to develop strategies that are tailored to you and your issues.

It is unlikely that you have stretched your pouch but the stoma is more susceptible to stretching with routine overeating.  There is not much they can do to "fix" a stretched stoma (none of the procedures available have even decent success rates so most insurance won't pay for them).  You do not want to do any more damage than you may already have done, so getting into counseling quickly will serve you well in the long run.  The sooner you can discontinue the overeating, the less likely it is that you will stretch your stoma any more.

Addressing this now, while the regain is minimal and the habits are not yet ingrained again is important.  You CAN beat this with the proper help.

Lora

Equally wonderful advice Lora that I will take. Thank you. :o)

I would suggest counseling to address the reason why you are eating and going back to old (albeit comforting) habits creeping back in.  It happened to me at 1 yr postop and I had a 20 lb re-gain.  I decided then that I wasn't going down without a fight!!!  I got control of my eating again, and lost an additional 90 lbs in the 2nd year.  I have maintained really great restriction with my RNY at almost 3 yrs postop, and have learned how to back away from the plate when I'm full (which for me is only a few bites).  I do eat more often and when I'm hungry (watch OUT!!) LOL but I can still, with the help of a LOT of practice, back away from the plate!

I hope that you can celebrate your loss and the great success you have made already.  Every day brings a new challenge (weather its food, work, kids, home, etc,) but we must find a way within ourselves to overcome each and every challenge!!!  You can do it!

 

Mallisa

Thanks Mallisa for sharing your battle and good insight. Today I begin my struggle again. I'll never give up!