OT... but need to say it

I dont want to hear any "I told you so's" or anything like that. I need support right now, not *****iness.

My marriage has run its course.  WE decided last night is was for the best to split up.

Right now, my eyes are raw and my head is throbbing from all of the crying.  It hurts very bad.  I know it will get better as time goes by but 6 1/2 years of memories don't just disappear.  Today it is a raw wound.  We are amicable. It needed to happen and both of us need it to truely be happy.  I still will have visitation of our cats, but I have to move out and get my own place.  I will help him pay down our debt and I will still stay in his life as long as our cats are alive (they have a disease that makes their life very short) so I will have to be there when we have to put them down.  I will always care for him and I want him to be happy so even though it sucks it is for the best.  The bottom line is, I want a family and he doesn't.  He changed, I changed, it is no one's fault.  I will stop crying in a few days and start going into high gear on getting another job and finding a place to live. I appreciate everyone here, but please, just give me support and advice.  I know i was kidding myself all this time.  Maybe my infertility was a blessing after all.

 

Sorry to hear that your marriage didn't work out......it is absolutely devastating, but be lucky you only have cats. If it didn't work out WITH kids, it is even harder. We have been married thirteen years and have 2 biological kids (but had to do IVF), one adopted child and have another foster baby which we hope to adopt this year.

We had infertility issues too, and managed to overcome them with help. We have adopted a beautiful daughter through the foster care system and hope to adopt another this year!!

 

Good Luck!!

So sorry to hear your sad news.  Now is the time to focus on you. You will feel better in time, even though I'm sure you don't believe that now. Sending good thought your way.

We are here for you! It will definitely be a hard time, but I am glad you took this step so you can find a happier life, you will find someone with the same interests as you have. Just keep your chin up. A life of happiness awaits! (my 18 YEAR marriage ended over 3 years ago and I tell you- it was a beeaaacchhh, but I am so much happier now!)

Sorry to hear this.  You just keep working on you.  Eventually everything will work out, but it will be a hard road for awhile.  I am also so sorry about your furbabies.  Divorce is never an easy thing but it is better without children.  My daughter is divorced and her husband remarried a week after his divorce was final and that lasted maybe a year.  He is now engaged again (but not yet divorced).  My grandchildren love their dad and do not understand why he only wants to see them once in awhile (basically when wife/girlfriend tell****hat he should see them, as he never calls).  My daughter never says anything bad about their dad because she knows that, in the end, they will see what really happened.  Right now, they are excited about being in yet another wedding.  At least you do not have to watch this unfold. 

Take care!

My relationship of nine years ended not long ago, and we decided together that it was best for it to end.

That doesn't mean it's easy.  I know exactly what you mean about your eyes being raw and your head throbbing.  It took me more than a few days to stop crying.  Actually, that's when I started getting some exercise, because I couldn't sleep at night and started taking long walks in the middle of the night.  Walking helps.  And cleaning the house.

I'm sorry you're going through this.  Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

So sorry to hear you are going through this difficult situation.  Divorce IS very hard, sad and scary.  However, wasting more years of your life in an unhappy marriage is much, much worse.  You are making decisions that are right for you and that's a good thing.  Once the tears dry, you'll be proud of yourself for being strong enough to make this change.

You can always come here for support.  There are many, many people here who have been thru this and understand what you're going through.  No judgment here!

You know I just realized that I have not eaten one single thing all day.  I used to eat my troubles away but now I cant even bear to think of food.  I have thrown up so many times in the past 12 hours. I cannot keep anything down.  I have been looking for a second job and for apartment since I left work.  Thankfully my boss is divorced so she knows I am in hell right now.

Knowing what you are feeling through and struggling to eat, please take care of yourself.  If it's a matter for just drinking shakes to keep yourself healthy try as hard as you can.  I lost 24 lbs within a couple of months shortly after my ex and I split up.  It took HARD work to get anything in.....I literally survived on coffee and protein shakes.

Again big hugs to you. 

Do your best to take care of yourself. I know this is very painful, and I am sorry you are going through a rough time.