"I love being fat."

So, the other day, I dropped off the clothes that were too big for me, to someone in a group that I belong to. I met her daughter, who was the recipient of the clothes, and the three of us were talking about weight loss. Of course, it was brought up as to what I was doing to lose weight. I told them I had gastric bypass surgery, and instantly, the daughter chimed in with, "Well, I love being fat. You could never get me to do that. I love to eat too much!" I was taken aback a bit, but continued the conversation, saying how I agree--I loved to eat, BUT I needed to make changes and whatnot. We continued talking for a bit longer, then I went home. 

I've been thinking about what she said for days now, and it really just won't leave my brain. I said all of those things, trying to convince myself that I was fine the way I was. I knew the reality was I was in bad shape, and made changes--surgery being one of them. I definitely don't regret having surgery--it has enabled me to do a lot of things I "wished" I could do when I was closer to 300lbs. However, I can't shake that sentiment that "I love being fat". It just seems so wrong to me. I know my thought processes were off in the past, and maybe this thinking contributed to it. I don't know, though. 

I just wanted to share this with others--maybe you've encountered this post-op? This is really the first time I've encountered someone who sounded like me--broken, but not willing to admit it.

Before my surgery, I asked my therapist why I couldn't be one of those women that loved their body and was "happy" with being fat. She told me that those women were just fooling themselves. They aren't happy with the way they are. They put on a happy mask to try and hide their real feelings about being obese.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I was not happy in my 263 lb body. But maybe some people would be. I find it hard to believe that being thinner and healthier would not make someone happier. I'm certainly a lot happier.

How does your therapist know that all those women are not happy with the way they are?  She doesn't know all of them, does she?

No, she does not know all of them, that's for sure.

As Kelly points out, your therapist cannot make a blanket statement about all obese women.  My professional experience, though, is that in MOST cases your therapist is right.

Lora

I'll be honest. I loved being me. The old me. Who just happened to be fat. But I didn't think of myself as fat. It was just me. I've always loved me, so because of that love, I did this surgery, cause I wasn't enjoying the things I loved to do with my friends.

I tell my mom, who is also overweight, that she should do this too. Not because she's fat, but because I hear her complain about how fast she gets tired and how her feet hurt. (Plus she's diabetic) Her answer to me? "I love food too much."

I feel bad. I wish she could weigh the benefits of this surgery. I just don't see food as SO important that you'd rather go through life like that. It makes me sad. I wish my mom could enjoy things with me. She can't.

"I love to eat" and "I love being fat" are two different things.  I think the girl is  thinking they are the same.  I did not love being fat, having diabetes, being short of breathe after walking a short distance,  not being able to cross my legs, not fitting in a booth at a restaurant, .... I could go on and on.

Until people get to the point where they can decide that they hate being fat more than they love food,  they are not ready for surgery.  they would initially lose than gain it back.  People need to figure out why food fills the needs in their lives.  Surgery does not fix that.

Sounds like a serious case of food addiction and denial to me!

 

She said she is a chef, so there could be some underlying food addiction. 

I honestly did not love being fat. I loved food but I hate the way I looked and felt. It was a vicious cycle feeling depressed about how I looked and comforting myself with food. Now I love how I look with clothes on (clothes off is a whole new story)  and can only eat a smidgen of what I used to eat. I'm good with the new me.