Make Sure Your Choice To Pursue Weight Loss Surgery Is The Right Choice For You

I did not come blindly to my decision to have Weight Loss Surgery. I looked into it for many years, and very seriously for a year prior to having RNY. 

I am very independent. I do not wait for others to hold my hand. I get all the resources I feel I will need when making a major decision. I make my choices with solid understanding under my belt. I develop a mental plan of direction and write down my course of action. 

I prepare myself for the challenge ahead knowing I may run into some roadblocks along the way. I create a way out to overcome whatever obstacles I may encounter. If I find I need more resources, or I need to gain more knowledge, I actively seek it. 

I do not make excuses. I know what I want and where I am going. I do not cry over a mis-step. I do not get others to join me in a pity party.

I remain positive, purposeful and upbeat. I hold myself to a higher standard. I do not care about what everyone else is doing. I have come to know myself and have addressed those secret places in my life we all tend to avoid. 

I have always had a clear goal and plan and I have never swayed from it. I am very strict and strong-willed. My personality, tolerance, life experience and stamina are all part of the equation. 

I know myself and my limitations. When I began this journey, I felt I was fully prepared mentally for any challenge I would come across. I put in a lot of time doing research, and I continue to educate myself as time goes on.

I agree.  You and I have very different approaches to post-op eating, but we both know ourselves well enough to know what WE needed to be successful (and both looked into the dark corners to see what things were lurking that might sabotage us).  Even though we had the same surgery, I would not have been successful with your approach and you would not have been successful with mine.  (Which is part of the appeal of a site like this!)

I turned 45 the day after my RNY almost 6 years ago.  Partly, I think, because of my age, I really WANTED to have healthier habits, and I wanted to be responsible for making good food choices.  My BMI was high enough (57) that I likely could have gotten approval for the DS.  I did not pursue it, though, because I was already afraid of the potential vitamin issues with the RNY let alone the even greater potential with the DS, because I was afraid of some f the extreme (but uncommon) side effects,AND because the two people I knew who has the DS both did so just so they would be able to still eat a lot of high fat, high calorie foods.  They would get gleeful and boastful about eating a Big Mac.  I don't mean to judge them, but they intentionally chose the surgery that would require the least amount of change in their old eating habits.  I didn't WANT to eat Big Macs for the rest of my life!

None of us can really know for certain what post-op life will be like until we get there, but it is important to know what to expect, to be willing to DO what is required (even if the protein drinks smell disgusting or you hate the taste of your vitamins), and make the commitment.  

I recently had to withhold psych approval for a 20-something woman because she really thought that drinking protein shakes and extra vitamins were just "recommended" after RNY rather than mandatory, and that because her surgeons's plan "ok'd"  things like bread at 6 months, it was a license to add as much bread as she wanted to her diet.  Her idea of RNY was a diet where you had liquids then purées, and then added back in real food over a few months and that once you were allowed all foods, that meant eating whatever you felt like it.

Lora

I made a 5 second decision and made the call. I wish I would have researched it. I just researched one night and made the decision. And its a decision I totally regret. People say it will get better but I have been nothing but depressed since I had the surgery, It now has been 3 weeks and I wish I wouldnt have gotten the surgery, Ask me if I would do it all over again knowing what I know now? My answer? HELL NO!!! My mom asked me the day of surgery if I wanted to turn around and go home, That was my choice right there. I rather be obese and happy then being small and depressed.  What I am going through is pure hell and I never ever want to do it ever again. People say it gets better hahaha yeah right......

I know three people personally who had wls, 1 year apart in the years prior to my surgery.  One of my friends who had surgery weighed 480lbs when she had her rny and she had nothing but problems so I knew I couldn't handle it, although she was extremely successful it came at a price, she was sick much of the time.  The third person I knew that has surgery did so well, she got off her diabetes meds and I watched her every day until I knew this is what I wanted too.  I called her doctor, I didn't want issues, so he was the surgeon I wanted to go with.  I researched every single thing, but I am a systems analyst and I couldn't be more anal, I knew exactly what I was getting into just had no idea how I would handle it once it started happening.  I knew I wanted to be successful and I was not going to accept anything short of 100% loss but that was because weight was such a huge issue in my life, with my family, with everything I did, I hated being fat and my family hated me being fat.  I was the fat girl in the thin family, and believe me it was spelled out as clear as day that I was an embarrassment, especially by my grandfather.  So even though my family was deceased when I had surgery I still wasn't going to fail and embarrass myself once again.  I have my own personal plan that works for me, I think everyone needs to make a deal with themself that they can actually live up to and then just do it.

We have similar approaches: I research, ask questions, learn from other's success and failure and learn from my own success and failure. I don't make excuses and I hold myself to a higher standard. I don't want to "just eat less of normal things," I want to have superb nutrition and use this time as the chance to completely remake my life and to become the person I was supposed to be before obesity. I have clear goals, too, and I feel like I have years of lost time to make up for. I think everyone's personality, tolerance, life experience and stamina are all part of the equation, and some are more resilient with more ability to use systems thinking and analysis, and have better internal tools and stamina to handle stress than others. I love reading about the science of optimism - we will be more successful in our endeavors if we purposefully adopt a positive attitude and work at it everyday.

Those secret places that I'm coming to know are tough to come to know, but vital to my long term success. I remain positive and purposeful and try not to get overwhelmed with all of the major changes happening with my body, my choices, my lifestyle, my mental processes, and my emotions.  I'm changing, but outside of my children and husband, those around me aren't changing. So I'm finding that I have to concentrate on my own new life while finding a new place to be in other's lives. Some relationships are better, some aren't. But...I will carry on because I'm taking the long view and I WANT this new life more than anything!

Sorry I am late in reading this thread.  All responses are well said , but I love how you think, Rose Queen.