Scared

OMG my insurance approval came through!!!  I see my Dr 30th!

After i got off the phone making my appointment a deep sadness and fear came over me.

I dont know why....ive worked so hard to get here....I know that i want to do this, ive kept a notebook for putting together a vitamin schedule, ive began to buy the vitamins i will need, ive got a list of what to take to the hospital, bought myself a comfy robe, zips in the front, easy.

So why am i so scared? I am on the verge of tears as i write this.

What the freak is WRONG with me?

I think it's completely normal !! For me, once I got that call... it suddenly became so real !! Just keep reminding yourself, you are *making* this choice, That should make you feel like you have a little more power over the situation. You'll probably feel a bit better knowing you have full control here. You'll do great !!

Nothing is wrong with you as all these emotions are normal. This is a big life change with much uncertainty. I just kept reminding myself of the certainty of the issues I would have from my diabetes and high blood pressure if I did not lose the weight I had tried to lose for years? I knew I needed surgery! I had my surgery August 29,2012 and am thankful every day for my surgeon and staff. I have lost 133 pounds and gone from a tight 24 to a size 2. I am a normal size person for the first time ever! And best of all,I am now healthy with normal blood sugars and blood pressure and can move and exercise as much as I want to. I have more energy than ever before and have even walked several 5ks! This is an amazing journey and you do great too!

It's very normal to feel scared, unsure, anxious, apprehensive, wondering if you made the right decision, etc...I'd be more concerned if you didn't have some of those feelings.  It sounds as if you've really done your homework and have planned well for your future success.  

This is a life changing surgery.  Things will never be quite the same again.  The first few weeks/months after the surgery, you may question yourself again; "Why did I do this to myself????"  You may get frustrated while you adjust to your new stomach and way of eating.  Everything may not go as planned.  

The ultimate goal is to have positive changes (slimmer, healthier, more energy, etc)  I, personally, have had no food difficulties, and bounced back fairly quickly after surgery.  I didn't lose weight as fast as I had hoped, but am still losing.  I also got a very large incisional hernia (only because I've had several previous abdominal surgeries).  And just got that repaired last Friday. So, here I am again, recouping from surgery, feeling terrible.

But you know what?   Given the chance to do it all again, exactly the same way, or stay fat and unhealthy???  I'd do it all over again in exactly the same way.  I'm so healthy now.  My BP is stellar, my cholesterol and triglycerides are perfect, I no longer snore, it's no longer excruciatingly painful to walk as my plantar fascists and ankle tendonitis are completely gone!  I can ride a bike for hours.  I can walk for hours.  I'm building up to running.  I climbed a big ole fence a couple of weeks ago!  I feel like I'm 20 years younger.  All of this and I still have 40ish pounds to go!!  I can't imagine how much better I'm going to feel when I get to goal.  

Best wishes to you as you begin your new journey!!   

Thanks, you guys are great! I am going to add your comments to my notebook

so that i can remind myself of this wise advice.

Thanks again

Good luck to you.  It gets scary when it gets close.  I was lucky that mine was scheduled really quickly (to get it in before year end) and I didn't have too much time to think.  And you read about problems and issues here.  Most of us had very little problem. I'm a slow loser but if I never lose another pound, it was so worth it.  I feel normal for the first time in many, many years.  I can do more, I can shop in the regular sizes (which was a challenge at first).  Like someone else said, you will question yourself a few times in this journey but you will be so glad you did it,.  Good luck and try not to stress too much.

Being scared is completely normal! I was terrified about 2 weeks out until literally the moment of my actual surgery. I was sobbing in the room talking to the aenesthesiologist and second guessing my decision like crazy. I cried several times thinking about, several times I wanted to back out, but I can tell you this..

I have no regrets. None.

Every single time I've gotten sick, passed on food, declined something I can't eat or sat and read a label - it's been worth it.

Today at True Religion, I pulled on a pair of 27's - it's worth it.

I run 7-8 miles in the morning - it's worth it.

I get no lectures at the doctors office, no medications to control one of the many diseases that obesity plagues you with - it's worth it.

Keep the faith and stay your course, I promise it will pay off.

I don't know why you'd be in tears. This is an amazing opportunity that will change your life IF you use the tool well and I just cannot imagine being unhappy that you have this awesome and life changing surgery approved.

And a robe isn't going to be helpful...how are you going to get it on over your IV? I'd just stick with what the hospital gives you and save the robe for home.

Look into the chewable and drink additive vitamins. I chose Celebrate and LOVE them!!

You will be thrilled with this surgery, don't start second guessing yourself now.

It's very normal to be scared. You're making a life-long decision which is going to require many changes, both mentally and physically.  Many people mourn the loss of their eating lifestlye, but that lifestyle is what got us to the point of needing surgery. Hang in there. You can do this! 

Dear jaesueray,

I just got approved for weight loss surgery as well.  I see my Dr. on the 30th of July.  I'm scared also.  It is normal from what I hear to feel anxious and scared at this point.  We have fear of the unknown.   I went to a wedding yesterday, and sat back and watched how great most of the  women guests looked in their dresses.  I was sitting there feeling depressed because I was dressed in a big girl outfit that covered me like a tent. I felt so alone at 285lbs.   Nevertheless, the majority of people there were not overweight. The bride and grooms mothers were not overweight, and they looked beautiful in their dresses.   It was the first time I felt that I was abnormal. I want to be able to dance with my son at his wedding and feel and look great like they did.  Yesterday, it all became real to me.  I am sick with morbid obesity...so sick.  This reality is confirmation for me that I am doing the right thing by having surgery.  Not only is it my  desire to be normal, It is imperative that I get healthy.   I want my blood pressure to go down and my type 2 diabetes to go away.  I want my aching knees to stop hurting so I can wear heels again. Hell, I want to go sleeveless without being self conscious.  So, jaesueray, this is my motivation. Let your motivating factors come to the forefront.   I'm not going to let fear get in the way of this journey.  I'm crying as I write this also.  Good luck and let's do it!!!!

Lynne