Telling people about WLS?

Hi,

I'm new here... Getting surgery on New Year's Eve! Talk about a New Year's Resolution...

So, my nerves aren't about the surgery so much as telling people I'm getting it done. I'm in college right now, which can be a very judgmental place. So far, I've told my parents and my best friend. I still have to tell my roommate. I'm just worried that 1. If I tell people that I'm getting WLS or that I've had it done, they will judge me. I know I shouldn't care what people think but I really don't need that negativity in my life during this process. and 2. If I don't tell anyone, I'm nervous that people will see me losing weight quickly and assume I have an eating disorder.

I know this probably seems trivial compared to the surgery process in general, but I just seem to be hung up on it.

1st, Congrats on making this decision. 2nd, is your family and best friend supportive of your decision? And 3rd, did or do you have to do a psychological eval? The reason I ask is because often you will get more of a judgement feeling if you don't have a good support system. Some people choose not to tell of surgery until afterwards. You''ve made this step, feel good about it.

Because so many people are getting WLS of various kinds these days, and because of the rate at which you will be losing, most people who notice you dropping weight very quickly will probably figure out that you had WLS (although in the college community, you may be correct that they might think about an eating disorder... but eating disorders generally don't cause such rapid weight loss).  

Some people choose to try to keep their surgery a secret, but it usually gets out somehow (especially if you encounter complications) or people figure it out on their own.  My personal approach was to tell only a few people BEFORE I had surgery so I didn't have to listen to any negativity. Once I had surgery, though, I was very open about it.  I really don't give a damn what anyone else thinks, and it has given me a chance to talk with a few other obese women who have been thinking about some type of WLS.

if you choose NOT to tell them about surgery, you need to decide what you ARE going to tell them.  If you say you are jus****ching what you ar eating and exercising and they then find out you had surgery, they are likely to be angry because they feel lied to.

Lora

I am one of the ones that has been very open about what I am having done from the start. I have lost my best friend because of this decision but she taught me a lesson in life so I took the lesson and learned. I have a very huge support group with family and life long friends. I have also made so many more friends that are also having the surgery. I do advise you that if your going to be open about it to be ready for the unsupportive people and their comments. My personality is one that stands out and I really don't care about the comments of people who are unsupportive because they weren't knocking on death's door at 29 I am. Either way you go there is going to be some that have their own opinion about it

I do not think you 'need' to tell anyone. I did not need food police or judgement and am still glad to not have told people. 

You cannot 'untell' so consider that,

Howdy!

I am 9 days out from surgery.  Before this process, I only shared with a couple of friends and family members.  I solved the work issue by telling a couple of co-workers because when I get back to work. Everybody will have figured it out.  Please find a strong support system.  I already have one family member acting weird because of MY decision, it's MY life and not theirs.  What is the most important factor in all of this is how you feel about you.  Screw other peoples approval.  Even though my journey is just starting I'm excited!  I wish you all the best!

PrincePhillip

I have told quite a few people, and to be honest I've been very surprised and glad at the amount of support I've received. Maybe I'm just lucky, or maybe it's just the people i know, but everyone had been very happy and excited for me. If someone hadn't been, I suppose I would reevaluate whether I really wanted or needed their "friendship". Whatever you decide, please keep in mind that this is something good you are doing for yourself, and that's more important than anyone else's approval. You got this!

I am envious of the people that are an open book about surgery. The fact of the matter is that I'm sensitive and do care (to an extent) what people say about me or to me (depending on who they are). If people want to speculate that I had weight loss surgery, then that's fine with me... I'd rather they talk about me when I'm not around, as long as I don't need to deal with it. I'm an emotional eater... so I chose not to put myself in a position where people are judging me or questioning my decisions. People questioning my decisions has always been a trigger for me to get upset. I know that about myself, so I made a conscious decision to tell very few people.

I don't think there is anything wrong with not being an open book. Just be prepared for people to be concerned about you or to ask a lot of questions. Think about what you're going to say if people ask, "what you are doing" - I just jokingly say, "I don't eat anything that tastes good!" and people chuckle then the subject gets changed. I don't plan to lie if someone asks me directly "Did you have weight loss surgery" but fortunately nobody has asked me yet.

Just be prepared for the possibility of negativity and judgment if you decide to be an open book. Some people find that they receive nothing but 100% support - most people encounter at least SOME negativity. You have to do some self-reflection and decide - can I handle the possibility of judgment/negativity or no? If you are sensitive, like me, you might want to consider not telling anyone that isn't a "need to know" person.

Also keep in mind that if you're keeping it a secret, but tell a few people... a few people can turn into many pretty quickly!

I treated it like I would any other surgery.  If I would tell someone I was having my gall bladder removed, then I told them I had WLS. 

I was more like Lora.  I only told family and very close friends before the surgery.  After, I will tell anyone that asks. . . and they will ask. . . everyday.  They won't ask if you've had WLS.  They will just ask what you are doing, because everyone is looking for that magic pill.  I cannot lie to people's faces, so I tell everyone that asks the truth.  Besides, I can't remember whom I've told and who I haven't and I didn't want to look like a fool.  I have only gotten great support.  No one has said anything negative (at least not to my face).  Beside, I've lost 120 pounds now.  I look fantastic.  Let them talk!!!