Defined by WLS?

So I am just looking to vent a little bit and hear from you guys what you think about it. So yesterday we were doing Secret Santa and the person who got me had to talk a little about me for others to guess (I think it is done like that in the US as well but if not, just explaining how it is in Brazil). And that person had A BILLION things to say about me and what I she said was that I was beautiful and brave. That early this year I was really brave. I know that she meant it really well and I didn't even took it badly but I really don't want to be defined by this surgery. Is it always gonna be like that? Do you guys experienced something similar in your journey?

I take it  you are assuming she meant that you are beautiful and brave because you had WLS?  But it sounds like she didn't say it was because of WLS.  She just said you are beautiful and brave.  You are interpreting that to be about your WLS.  Which makes it sound like you are defining yourself by your surgery, not other people.

I see what you mean but when she said it people guesses my cousin and she said oooh no she wasn't as brave as this other girl...I don't know maybe you are right but it was something about her tone you know?

You might be right.  You were there and you know her.  I don't.

Even so, I don't think this one experience means you're being defined by your surgery.  And I think once you get further out, it becomes a less prominent part of your life, you know?

Maybe I am being too paranoid! I guess I am just scared that this will happen. I have been very open about my surgery and the support has been incredible but I get scared that it is all that people will see you know?! Hopefully when I am further out and the surgery is old news I will feel more normal (for the lack of a better word)

I think what may be happening is that right now you are very aware of the fact that you had surgery and since it's in the forefront of your mind, you're assuming everyone else is thinking about it, too.  It's a little like when a teenager has a pimple on her forehead and she thinks everyone is staring at her pimple.  But in reality the pimple is really small and most people aren't evening noticing it.  They are busy thinking about their own pimples.

When you get further out, you won't be thinking about your surgery so much.  It won't be defining you.

This why I cringe a bit when people get obvious WLS tattoos.   I would NOT want to be explaining one at this point in my life!

For the first year or two it is a bit of an obsession both for us and the people around us.   However, the longer out you are, the less it defines you.   Nobody here in CO (other than family) know I had WLS, it just is no more important fact about me at this point than any other surgery I have ever had.

You are still very new out and everyone is in the "obsession" phase - don't go out getting any WILD tattoos for at least another year or two!!!

LOL no tattoos, noted!!!

I completely agree, Kim!! At 5 years out, it does not define me. I must say I am thankful I changed jobs after I had reached goal.

I agree with the others.  I think that YOU are the one feels it defines you (and are perhaps reading a lot into that other person's general comments), and much of that is because we spend the first year or two being pretty obsessed about our weight and what we are eating/drinking.  Although I experienced the same kind of obsession that almost everyone does initially, I don't think that even then I felt like it "defined" me... but it was definitely a huge part of my life!

At six years out, I don't feel at all defined by my RNY.  It really is just part of my medical history, and isn't any different than me having had my appendix or gallbladder removed or having a history of blood clots.

Lora