I don't know who to believe about what it is like after surgery

I haven't had my surgery yet (I don't even have a surgery date set yet) but I am worried about whether surgery will even work for me.  Part of me thinks that it just has to work but part of me thinks about how I try so hard to stick to a diet but eventually I always fail.

I have been reading a lot of messages here. Even though some people have said things change after surgery and it is easier to control what you eat, some other people say things like "they don't operate on your brain" and that it doesn't do anything to help control what you eat. So now I am not sure what to believe!  

I only know that I am worried that I will have this surgery and not be able to change my eating.  It isn't that I don't want to because I really want to be normal instead of fat and be healthy instead of always tired and sick a lot, but I am worried that I just won't be able to do it and the surgery will be for nothing!

Did anyone else worry a lot about whether they could "do it"?  Have you been able to lose the weight and keep it off.  I will give it everything I have but I am worried it won't be good enough.  I could sure use some advice or reassurance.

Missy

Hi Missy,

I don't know if this answers you or not but I can say this;  no matter which weight loss surgery you get, it will MAKE you change your eating habits or you will learn how to vomit and like it. 

I did not check your profile but if you are heavy enough to get WLS, you have to make a choice.  Do you want to remain fat, unhealthy and missing out on your life because you love food too much or do you want to gain a valuable tool, whether it is surgery or learning the ropes in Weigh****chers, etc., and be healthy, slender and live?  It really is your choice and can only be your choice because nobody else can do it for you.  It is not easy and you will have to work very hard at it.  But, WLS allows you to get to your goal weight or very close to it.

The thing about just dieting, most of us here have failed at it or we wouldn't be here.  We need to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and to do that, rapid weight loss works for us.  But you cannot go into this thinking it is easy, as I said, it is not.  And, it is not always fun.  Can you regain?  YES!  It is a lifetime adjustment!  The WLS tool helps you to stay on track.

Hope you can glean something from this.  And good luck!!  :)

Many people live to eat others eat to live.  Maybe you need to get some therapy because after the honeymoon phase you very well might go back to bad eating habits.  It is a fine balance between exercise, change of diet, extra nutritional supplements.  Your committment has to be serious and you are the one that has to make that determination.  

You indicate that you don't know who to believe [about what it is like after surgery].  Presumably, people are sharing their own stories and experiences - so although the stories vary, they may all be correct.  

No one can predict your journey, not even you.  However, I believe that we do have the capacity to create that which we fear.  When we become so attached to a perceived outcome, we subconsciously, indiscriminately and/or blatantly can make decisions that we feel helpless to make - that lead to the outcome that we expected.  When the adverse outcome is reached, we can tend to think that we were right all along.  The truth of the matter is we have the ability to impact our outcome, either positively or negatively.

Here's another example of how this negative thought process can work.  A man is convinced that his girlfriend will leave him.  She loves him, is devoted to him and is not interested in anyone else.  But his perceived outcome is that she will leave.  So in order to fight to keep her, he becomes intolerably overbearing, begins to follow her, listens to her calls, checks her emails, interrogates her mercilessly and begins to be demanding about her every move.  What happens?  She leaves him.  Was he a psychic? No.  He created the situation that he feared.

This is certainly not true in all cir****tances, however, I would encourage you to re-focus your thinking.  It's understandable to have some reservations, however, attitude is important.  Is it possible that you can speak with a counselor, to help you sort through this? 

I echo what the others have indicated.  I wish you all the best and just know that your best can be good enough!!! 

Missy,

Here's my 2 cents as it pertains to me  (short n' sweet for those that are comin' to recognize my verbosity-*smirks*).  This has not been an EASY EXPERIENCE for me.  The experience has

been more difficult than the 9 months I prepped for this surgery-from decision, to changing' some habits initially, the constant self doubt in the beginning, everyone's negative remarks, then the

actual surger(ies).  I have had a myriad of complications.  I am going for another surgery  in less than 1 1/2 weeks-diagnostic laparoscopy and feeding tube insertion.  In spite of everything so

many of  us go through when choosing WLS and coping with the difficulties associated with the surgery-I'D DO IT AGAIN IN A NEW YORK MINUTE!!!  I have to be better nourished and renewed

to face ANOTHER surgery in 3 months.  It's a big one...make or break my WLS - I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED MY DECISION. 

I am one of the lucky people who has a devoted spouse who, though he did not want me to go through any of the things I have and am going through, like he told me...THIS IS YOUR DECISION

AND YOUR HEALTH AND BODY.  It's a life changing life-saving measure. 

People have been here for me-we will be here to support you!

 

Journal all that you feel so that in 1 year you can see all your achievements and how far you have come!!!

 

Best of Luck,

Celtie

 

As has been suggested above, no one can predict your outcome, it is very individual.

But you are in control.  It changes a lot of things and if you keep those changes in mind, you will be successful.

For example, you cannot eat much at a time.  You learn quickly that eating too fast or too much result in a vomit and pain session.  One or two times of that and you are going to figure out the process and how to not get there.

Sure if you could be a 100% in line with the surgeon's guidelines, you would do the best.  But we are human and sometimes fail.  But what do you do to change those old habits?  Ultimately, we want to eat like thin people.  So what do thin people do?  They eat one slice of pizza and sometimes 2, but not 4 breadsticks, 4 slices of pizza, and some dessert all while drinking a big gulp.  And they definitely do not do this daily.

While pizza is not the best choice, giving up all such foods can lead to binges or other negative behaviors.  So, allow an occasional indulgence, but keep it occasional.

What I have seen in the past 2 months since surgery,  II do not dump, but sweet things have become too sweet for me.  So I just do not have the taste I once had.  Also, I have started eating more fruits and veggies.  I drink more water, I am exercising.  I am changing from the old habits that made me fat and developing new ones to make me healthy.

And no surgery does not fix your brain, but if you decide to form healthier habits, you will be successful.

As I read and researched yesterday, it is almost impossible to really stretch your pouch other than the natural changes that the surgeon knows will happen.  So as long as you eat like a sane person, you are relatively fine.  Just do not graze.  Grazing and doing things like consuming calories in liquid or slider food form, is what would be our undoing.  

And consume your protein and exercise.  It is a life change, the first year or so will be pretty straightforward, it is the rest of your life that you have to manage.  And only you can decide if you want to be successful.

And ultimately, are you doing it now without surgery?  If you were you would not be contemplating this.

Missy, surgery is a tool not the answer. You will have to work at it very hard to eat the right amounts of the proper foods from day one for the rest of your life! It will be a life changing event! You will have to be 100% committed to making this change or you will fail. You will regain all your weight if you revert to overeating and stuffing your "tool" (pouch/stoma/new stomach). There is no other way to say this!  

For me, I kept wondering whether or not the surgeon had really done anything.  I felt exactly the same as before surgery.  I did have some little incisions that did not even require a Band-Aid, so knew that something had happened. 

There was a difference though.  I was never hungry and when I ate I was satisfied with a tiny amount of food.  After a few days I also started having tremendous amounts of energy.

Not being hungry and not being able to eat much makes it very easy to follow the diet and exercise plan.  I went through this with no complications, no hunger, and it has been fun and easy. 

When I was hungry, tired, and able to eat a lot, I could not control my weight.  Now it is super easy to do that.  Surgery was in 2007 and I still never get hungry, never eat much, have lots of energy and still love my tool and maintain at my goal weight.

I didn't "worry" because I explored my relationship with food with a therapist who had a specialty in eating disorders.  I can't imagine anyone being successful without the advantage of doing that. 

Let me tell you this, I WILL NEVER DIET AGAIN! When I lost weight, I let go of the guilt associated with the roller coaster ride that is a diet.  I know why I eat and I know what to eat.  If I have a couple of potato chips once in a while - I don't have to eat the whole bag like I used to. 

The mechanism of the surgery itself will alter your eating capacity and habits.  Smart consumers will use that as a building block for new and different eating habits for our future.  Please believe this - we are all so much more alike than we are different!

Set yourself up to succeed.  You will be amazed at the stuff you are made of.  All the best to you.

Sandie 

I can only give you an answer from my experience.  Keep in mind that I am only four months out -- so I certainly don't have the experience of reaching goal and maintaining yet.  Also, I want to add the disclaimer that I am not saying my experience is everyone's experience.  So here it goes:

I remember asking my surgeon how WLS was going to be any different than the million other failures I had before.  I knew that I could have great will-power sometimes, but most of the time, my eating felt very out of control.  I was very worried before surgery because I couldn't imagine being satisfied by small portions, high protein, and low carb options.  I had a lot of food funerals in the months leading up.  I actually gained 10 pounds two months before submitting for approval.  I remember wondering the very same things that you are in your post.  I had fear that I just didn't have what it takes to be successful.  In December, it looked like my clinic wasn't going to be able to fit me in for surgery.  That was my only window of time to have it until the following May.  I was actually relieved to postpone it.  I wanted to be able to keep eating.

As luck would have it, my surgeon added two days to his schedule to fit me and some others in by the end of the year.  I was scheduled for December 31st. The nurse called me with the good news on the 15th.  She told me I needed to start the liquid pre-op diet the next day.  I was excited but in sheer panic, too.  I wasn't ready to give up food!  I hadn't had a "last meal!"  I had gotten used to the idea of the May surgery!  I was going to miss Christmas cookies, dinner and my last gorging meal!  I decided to start one day late.  That last day was a pig festival.  Instead of 14 days, I did 13.  

From the day I started the liquid pre-op diet, I resolved not to waiver.  It was very difficult.  Truthfully, there was a lot of soul searching during this time.  I wondered how in the hell I would get through it.  Then, it started to get easier.  Weight was dropping off.  My next hurdle was questioning if I could just keep this up and avoid surgery.  I knew I couldn't -- I knew that short term success wasn't my long term goal.  I started thinking about all the things I had given up on in life in order to eat a lot of food.  I thought about my health.  I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought.  It was truly an awakening for me.  There were times I was really scared to go through with surgery.  Change is a very scary thing -- even good change.  I joked that I wasn't going through that two week (minus one day) pre-op diet for nothing!

When I awoke from surgery, food was very different for me.  It was like I was reset to being and infant and starting all over again.  I started on clear liquids -- learned how to sip and not gulp -- and moved through the stages as I was advised.  I understand now why it's called a tool.  However, it is an AMAZING tool.  Do I sometimes get head hunger?  Yes.  Is it a million times easier to navigate now.  YES.  Have I strayed from plan?  No. (Keep in mind, I am only 4 months out)  -- am I glad I had surgery --- YES.  It is the best gift I have ever given myself and my family.  I would have never thought that I could have a more normal relationship with food.  

I hope this helps you somewhat.  No matter what you decide to do, I wish you happiness and health.