Surgery is Friday and I am thinking about cancelling!

I agree with Audrey. It doesn't sound like you are ready to make the kind of commitment that you need to make in order to be successful long term.  All successful "vets" here will tell you that being psychologically ready is really important.  It would be better to postpone surgery -- even just for a short while -- than to push forward now and then struggle terribly and be miserable post-op.  Saying "not yet" isn't the same as saying "no".

I would encourage you to spend some time with a counselor who is familiar with the needed changes post-op (your surgeon's office can probably recommend one) and (s)he can help you address the fears, establish ways that you can still enjoy being social while still maintaining the healthy lifestyle you will need to maintain.

It is hard enough to learn to change your eating and get in all the water and vitamins even when you are 100% ready and committed.  Doing so when you are not at that point yet can be overwhelming.

Lora

You can be social and watch what you eat if you start looking at socializing as about who you are with and not about what you are eating/drinking.

Do you love food more than you love being able to walk without getting winded? More than you love being able to live past a heart attack at 50?

I'm right with you. I LOVE food -- eating, cooking, enjoying dinners out was very important to me. I worried that I would hate my life after surgery, and that socializing wouldn't be as much fun.

I'm a little over 3 months out, and I can confidently tell you that my entire view of food changed. I just don't care about food any more. Occasionally I feel a small pang of regret for all those pizzas, chocolate chip ice cream, donuts, etc, but when I contemplate eating something like that it just doesn't seem real. As far as socializing, my hubby and I still socialize with friends -- I just don't eat like a horse. We've saved a TON of money by not going out to eat, and when we do go out I usually get soup or an appetizer and I'm totally fine with that. I used to spend a lot of time and energy thinking about food...once I got past about 2 months post-op, that obsession went away. Yesterday, I made 3 batches of shortbread and some ginger cookies, and all I ate was one-half of a small ginger cookie. I wasn't even tempted to nibble on the others.

Personally, I'm very happy that I didn't have to do a special pre-op diet. I doubt I would have made it through if I had. Just hang in there...yes, this sucks the big one, but persevere and you'll be fine. You'll be so thrilled with focusing on clothes and watching the scale go down that food will take it's normal place in life.

As far as changing your lifestyle, that's a decision you make for yourself. You can still go out, have fun, socialize, etc with people -- nothing requires you to become a hermit once you have surgery. It's your choice how you live your life.

Sending you positive energy...

Hugs...Joan

Joan! Your post was so inspiring! I woke up this morning thinking "what the heck was I thinking last night" but then again at 11:30 today I was feeling unsure again. I talked to the nurse at the hospital and she have me some options!! I have decided I am in this... I want to do this and that my quality of life will be so much better! Congratulations on your loss, you really are a huge inspiration!!!! Hugs back and have a wonderful Christmas!!! xx

Welp - then it might really be a bad idea to go through with surgery.  If you're struggling this much prior to surgery with the idea of changing your lifestyle, you're probably not ready.  

And if your shakes make you want to puke, you're drinking the wrong ones.  They are some very tasty ones out there...and I'm much pickier than most about them.  

There's no harm in putting it off and waiting until you're in a better space, mentally.  It would much worse to go forward if you're not ready.  

You could be right, or it could just be nerves. It is a major surgery, after all, and nerves are to be expected. I've been preparing for this myself for three years now, and I am starting to feel nervous even with no surgery date yet. Is there someone you can talk to about this? Or do what I do: make a list of pros and cons about the surgery, and not having the surgery. Weigh them out carefully. Just remember, you are probably not going to be able to lose and keep off the weight on your own.

The liquid diet sucks.  No way around it.  And for two weeks after surgery, you are on a liquid diet (or whatever your program calls for).  You can't fit much in, so that's easier than the three prior weeks.  Once you are cleared for food, you have to make adjustments.  Protein first, many of us choose low carb as well.  Quantities are much smaller.  But as someone who has gone from 351 lbs when I had surgery 364 days ago to 159 lbs today, as someone who has tons of energy, as someone who didn't realize how much my weight was keeping me from living my life, this was 1000000% for me.  I still go out to eat many times a week.  It's a social outing whether with friends or on a date.  And I eat a small amount of protein, perhaps a bite of someone else's food, don't drink while I eat, and still feel happy and satisfied.  

Only you know if you should have surgery, and perhaps you would benefit from talking to a therapist before going under the knife.  Because if you don't change your habits, you won't be successful.  But if you are willing to, and if you can envision a life where food isn't controlling you, it's an incredible life you could be living!

Hi. I will be two weeks post surgery as of tomorrow. These are my thoughts - 1) surgery SUCKS, there is just no way around that. This was my first surgery and there is no way to prepare for what its going to feel like afterwards. But its only bad for a couple of days and then you can manage just fine. 2) Pre surgery diet SUCKS because you still have the same appetite and urges that got you into this mess and if we were any good at will power we wouldn't be in this situation. But it is an endurance test, you can survive it, just take it one day at a time and time will pass faster then you think it will. 3) Liquid diet after surgery also sucks. Your not really hungry but your just not satisfied on liquids. But again, this is a two week time frame and at least now your not battling your hunger. When you feel down about it just get on the scale. At almost two weeks out I have lost 20 pounds! It will give you just enough to keep going.

I also am a HUGE foodie. My favorite things to do are to cook and to feed people. That does not have to change long term. I can still love to learn about recipes and feeding my friends and family and yes even eat the food, just a heck of a lot less of it and looking damn sexy in the process. It will not kill me to cook all day, my back won't hurt, my feet won't feel broken and I will be able to find an apron that fits around me. It is just the initial part that is hard. But it is worth it! If we don't loose this weight it is going to KILL us. It is slowly trapping us within our bodies and we are left to deal with our bodies that can't function, society that doesn't want us and for what? The food we are placing in our mouth? Isn't the discomfort of learning to let that go for a few weeks worth it? I strongly feel that once I get to soft foods I am going to be fine. You can eat real food at soft food. Just a lot less. You will be fine as well.

Good luck. As with any big decision cold feet is really common. I had it too and I would just tell my head to shut up.

Ugh i needed to read this today. I am one week post op and of course on the liquid diet and having some serious buyers remorse. I try to tell myself the next stage will be easier. I agree there is no way to be 100% sure you are ready to have surgery. There is nothing you can do pre op to prepare for after surgery. It is rough and everyone says it gets better but im having a hard time seeing that at the moment.