Struggling

Something White Dove said to me early on sticks with me to this day.  It was (paraphrasing), "After WLS, you are basically on a diet for the rest of your life."  I remember it being a crushing reality to me.  She's absolutely right.  Once I accepted that as my new reality, it was easier for me to get past some of those food demons.  I just keep telling myself (and others around me), "That's not part of my plan."  It helps.  Good luck to you.  I get this so much, Melissa.

Yep. Realizing we are on a diet the rest of our lives is important. I am not going to screw this up. I fought hard to get my life back and will keep fighting. I have seen too many of my friends gain lots of weight back and see how sad they look.

Another thing I have learned to say is "Thanks, but I don't want any." Not that I "can't" have it or "shouldn't" have it. Food pushers generally stop if I say I don't want whatever it is they are pushing. Most have leaned to leave me alone...lol.

It was SO EASY for the first 6 months after surgery, I had ZERO desire to eat anything off plan, just didn't ever want to.  Then it got hard.  I try all the tricks to "be good", sometimes I succeed....sometimes I don't. 

I try for a 90/10 split. 90% of the time I watch what I eat, 10% of the time I let myself eat whatever I want. You will find your balance. Transitioning to maintenance is so hard!! Honestly it is why I get so worried about people who get overly excited about reaching goal. Yes, it is important, but the race is not won when you reach the finish line. There really is no finish line.

I love this.  My brother has never had a weight problem and this is how he eats.  90% of the time he eats a protein forward diet.  The other 10% he allows himself to indulge.  Does he allow himself more carbs on a regular basis than I will ever be able to?  Yes.  Bu****ching him has allowed me to emulate someone with what I consider smart eating habits.  As I get back to my goal weight and transition into maintenance, this is a plan I'm going to try and follow.

So you're human! As long as you keep trying. I don't have any words of wisdom- I'm pre-op but this is a huge fear of mine. Good luck. I think you're doing a lot of things right so keep up the great work.

That is such a good point.  Part of my struggle is the pig headedness inside me saying I am not going to diet for the rest of my life.  Now I need to tell myself "Well honey, you are going to have to make a life long change.  Going back to your "normal" is not an option."  :( 

Mentally I really started struggling when I reached goal. It was like, "Now what?" No more weight goals, no more accolades. I think what did help me was getting my arms done as soon as I got to goal. The flapping skin really got to me. When I got my arms done, I felt so much better. I did not get my lbl/bl done until a few years later but I know getting my arms done early helped me. When I was dressed, I could finally see the difference (out of clothes my body was still a hot-mess, but to the outside world, I was not). Plastics also made me realize I had a lot of money on the line and I was NOT going to mess it up.

Keep weighing yourself on a regular basis. The scale keeps me on-track. If I am up 3, I work hard and lose it. Losing 3 is soooooo much easier than 30.

For most of us it does get better. The mental part is definitely the hardest.

I weigh myself every morning, and always change my signature for my current weight on here.  So my goal weight is 150 (which I totally made up, having no guidance from my surgeon's office...they wanted me done at 209), and I try to be within 5 lbs of that.  Right now I am 6.8 lbs over my goal weight, I have been trying my best to stick to my plan (again made up by ME because my surgeon's office kind of sucks...great with the actual surgery...after that..not so much), but not seeing downward movement daily, which I know is unrealistic, gets me frustrated.

I don't even know what my maintenance calories/carbs etc should be, which doesn't help.  Either I was REALLY awesome and on program, or I am off the rails, there doesn't seem to be a happy medium with me.  Which I am trying to work on with my therapist.

Maintenance is a challenge in itself. I'm still learning that too. Trying to stay a certain weight for awhile b4 deciding to go lower.

Maintenance the last great frontier. To boldly go where so many?, have gone b4.

Cue Star Trek music...