Surgery day is Monday the 14th! So Scared!

I started this journey in April and it seemed like Surgery day was never going to get here. Now it's coming up so fast and I'm terrified. The surgery itself doesn't scare me too much, but I'm worried about vomiting a lot after, like having that affect my job and stuff. I'm afraid I will fail because of my food addictions and I'm afraid that I won't like the thinner me. I'm afraid of being crabby to my family as I adjust. I feel like all my worries have surfaced all at once. Every time I catch sight of myself in a mirror or realize how much my knees hurt coming down the stairs I remember why I am doing this, to be healthier and happier, but then the fears and what if's creep back in. I just need to make it through the next 6 days and then I can start my new journey and not look back.

FWIW- I've thrown up twice since my surgery 27 months ago. Throwing up is different afterwards- the salivating leading to it is far worse IMO. I actually say I no longer vomit- I spit up like a baby lol.

The unknown is scary- but you know the fate waiting you if you don't follow through.

I'm assuming we are all afraid of the unknown. But if you listen to everybody else here you'll see that the "other side" is much rosier than what you imagine. As peach said you won't throw up much but you spit. It happened to me few times and only when I'm not eating something I've made and weighed and I eyeball at the restaurant. But it's a learning curve. Don't worry about food cravings, I'm sure they'll come back down the road but to begin with you won't have much food cravings. I went in worried about my chocolate/cookies/icecream cravings. 6 weeks post op and I haven't even thought of them. I am so concentrated on "protein first then veggis" that I don't even have time or room in my pouch to think of sweets.

So don't worry! Go with confidence towards your future better life.

I suspect that a little fear can be helpful, post-op. It can help to keep us aware and careful, rather than overconfidently assuming that we have permanently kicked obesity to the curb (it always lurks, the beast, and must be stared down. A little fear can help us do that, I think).

But that is months or possibly even a couple of years down the road; first comes the honeymoon! You will do great! Everyone has some worry and anxiety beforehand, but there is so much good coming to you. Hang in there!

I think most people have a certain amount of fear and nervousness leading up to surgery. I found that starting a journal and writing about the experience was helpful. I logged what I ate, how I moved, what I was thinking and feeling. I am still writing most days and find it helpful to look back at where I've come from. It might be helpful to you.

Just wanted to jump in and give you a hug! This time will pass so quickly and before you know it you will be focused on losing and on following your post op orders!! Congrats girl!

I haven't read the other responses but I just wanted to get a few thoughts out there for you-

1. I am four months out and I've yet to vomit.
2. Surgery won't cure disordered eating.
3. With the limits surgery imposes on your eating you can CHOOSE to leverage this with a good therapist and lots of self work to cure your disordered eating (not really cure- more like mange to the point where it no longer drives unhealthy behavior).
4. Be the person you can love, it's not about being a victim to forces imposed by a small stomach (becoming a hangry bitter person) it's about having health and building some fitness that will allow you to make life choices based on what you WANT to do rather than what your obese body allows you to do.

You can do this. You have come here, read posts, researched outcomes and you've chosen to find a solution that will work with you.

In 6 more days you'll be getting a wonderful tool to help you change your life! So exciting.

I was anxious too, I think we all feel that, but seriously, this surgery is the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I never could have imagined 6 months ago what it would feel like to be 100+ Lbs lighter, wearing a size 14 pants again for the first time in ages (instead of size 24, which were super tight on me). I couldn't remember how much fun it is to shop in regular stores instead of being stuck at Pennington's all the time. I never dreamed I'd see Onederland so soon, as I was 304 Lbs just 6 months ago.

Hang in, and don't give in to the fears. Try to imagine how great you'll feel by Christmas instead :-).

Good luck!

Hang in there! My surgery is the 14th also - we can be friends if you would like. There is another OH member who is also scheduled for the 14th - we can be the "814 Trifecta"!

What is working for me is to not dwell on the surgery and keep busy. For me, I have taken the mindset that I made the decision when my thoughts and emotions were free from disturbance (fear) and now I am at peace with that 'undisturbed' decision. I usually tend to overthink things but strangely enough, I have reached a point that I am able to just "Be Still" in my mind. The day I got my surgery date I had a slight moment of "oh crap" - that's when I pulled my lab results from January and looked at my Triglycerides (THROUGH THE ROOF), Bad Cholesterol (ALSO THROUGH THE ROOF), as well as my MPV, BMI, Weight, etc. - ALL THROUGH THE ROOF! It was the cold, hard truth staring back at me - not a reflection in the mirror that I wished were thinner or prettier, but my future state of imminent decline. That is when I was able to still my mind and come to 100% peace with my surgery date.

Lisa

Thank you everyone for the great replies. I know I am doing this for my health and to live a better life with my family. I think I need to keep my mind focused on the great things that are to come rather than the "what ifs"! I'm glad I would this forum where everyone is so helpful and kind! Only 5 1/2 days left!!