I have faild at WLS and need help

I had WLS 5 yrs ago and was very sucessful. I started out at 320 and lost down to 165 as of last summer ('09) Then my best friend and soul mate, my adopted by love brother died unexpectetly.
I fell into a very deep depression and totally sabotaged myself.  ( If you haven't notices yet, I am a horrable speller!  )  Anyway, in the last yeat I've regained a great deal of weight. I don't seem to have the dumping symdrome anymore, maybe my body adjusted to the surgery, I don't know.  I'm now more depressed than ever, I feel like a total failure, I'm sooooo ashamed of myself and I feel like I have let everyone down, myself most of all.  Has anything like this happend to anyone else?   I don't know what to do. I was thinking of having more surgery, a Lap-Band maybe. Can I shrink my now HUMONGOUS no-longer a pouch, but a football sized gut back to a smaller size?

So sorry for your loss, but you are not a failure. FIRST, get back to the basics, - Do you attend support group or have friends that have had WLS?  If not - run to the nearest group - the support of people that truely understand your situation will help you get back on the road.

Basics are protein firs****er, drink lots and lots, no drinking with meals, and exercise. A visit to the doctor might be in order as well.

Please don't accept faillllure, get up and get going. You can and will beat this.

You have come to the right place for help and support.  I am not sure your exact location, but there are many N. Texas support groups, come and meet some people and join the "family". Without this support, I could never be where I am today. 

Good luck, and keep posting
GAYE

Thank you for your quick answer, I've been troubled with this for so long and, frankley, too embarassed to even ask for help. I'm not in a support group, I live outside of Dallas and I'm the care giver of my 87 yr old Mom, so it's not easy to get out. I have stoped my most distructive behavors, like eating sweets and carbs, but do you really think I can shrink my pouch back down?

Thanks again,
Lisa

You are not a failure, you had an incredible stress and slipped into old habits.  It can (and likely has) happened to a number of us.  The important thing is to take stock of where you are at now, and go back to the basics of taking care of yourself.  One of the most important suggestions is to work on getting back to eating healthy.  I find that tracking my intake on FitDay helps me be much more accountable about what I'm really eating.  Track what you are eating honestly right now, then adjust based on what you find. 

Several people here have been able to "re-shrink" their pouches by going back to dense protein first and lowering their carb intake drastically.  You generally will feel fuller, quicker when you start with good, dense protein.  It's not easy getting back into the WLS habits, but it can be done, and you can do it!  Definitely try to get in with a support group, being around people who have been there and know what it's like is so important.  There are several groups that meet around the metroplex, so post where you are at and chances are there will be a meeting somewhere near you.

Good luck, and keep coming back!

As a some have already said you are not a failure. One of the biggest things that effects our life style is the stress in our lives. Losing somebody you love is a terrible thing to endure especially by yourself , which no wonder why you suffered from depression. However, you have come to the right place there are severall support groups in the DFW area and meeting up with one of them can help. I would recommend seeking some counciling and maybe seeing a pyschiatrist, which can help you deal with the lose you suffered and help you move on with your life. I have been seeing one for a while now myself since the lost of my son back in 2008.  One of the first things you can do is try to get back to basics and return to the nutrition plan you were on after you surgery. You may want to get help from a nutritionist or a dietician. As for more surgery you may want to see what you can do first by returning back to basics and if you still have trouble then look into other options. You have made a very important first step and admitting that to yourslef that you need to change and get healthy again. It is easy to neglect your health and for years I have done it. It took a wake up call for me to change my ways. Please, follow the advice mention about returning to basics such a returning to eating protein, cutting carbs, drink plenty of water, take your vitamins, and exercise. Soon you will back to a new a you with some hard work. I will not kid you it is going to take hard work to get back on track but you can do it and the TMB is here to offer you support. One thing you can count on is many more peoplle responding to your post because we all care.

think back to the days before surgery when you tried to keep the lost wt off and couldn't. You weren't a failure then either. It's just frickin' hard work.
Do you have access to a therapist or a caregivers' support group?
The fact that you're a caregiver is a lot of stress right there, and the fact that you're grieving on top of it...WOW!
Remember, wls is not a magic fix!!!
The fact that you feel you're a failure doesn't help the stress factor either!
Give yourself a pat on the back that you were able to reach out to us, and hopefully take some well intentioned advice.
When you post again, we hope to hear the good news!
Plus, you have to help me when I have mine!!!
Take care!

I'm sorry for your loss, that would have stressed any of us. You are NOT a failure. You said yourself you were successful for 5 years so hang onto that thought. You CAN do hard things, you've already proven that once, you can do it again.

As others have said...go back to basics, follow all those newbie post op rules to start over. I think it's vey possible for you to shrink your pouch. We have a lady here in town who had WLS about 10 years ago. She had a trajedy in her family and over the next few years regained over 150lbs, and started having all those old medical problems again. Long story short, she went back to basics starting with a low carb diet as she did pre-op, then 2 week spans of full liquids, mushies then finally regular foods. It took several months but she got her pouch back to 'normal' size of around 3/4c of dense proteins. She's now back to her goal weight, no RX meds and doing great.

Please don't let embarassment stop you! First, there's nothing to be embarrassed about here...For the Grace of God go I! If you haven't been taking your vitamins I'd definitely start them again and it's probably a good idea to have your labs run.

Congrats for reaching out to us...we're all here to help in any way.

I really want to thank all of you for your wonderful advice and carring support.  I guess I just needed time to grieve, in a very selfdestructice and harmful way!    I am going to take your advice and start over. I did it once, I can do it again!  I'll keep y'all informend on my progress.

Thanks again and God Bless,
Lisa

Hi Shay,

I had something similar happen to me. I was completely demorilized to notice that none of my clothes fit and I was even afraid to find out just how much weight I had gained.

When I finally got the courage to find out, (I thought I had gained close to 80 lbs) I found out that I had in fact only gained 35 lbs. In the beggining I changed NOTHING about the way that I was eating (like many of us I was using food for comfort), but I began to be more physically active. This was difficult because I had become very sedentary, I began by watering plants everyday, walking around the pool, walking in the evening, washing my car, parking further away, etc.

Within 2 weeks I began to feel different (I knew not to weight myself because muscle weights more than fat), again, no change in the diet yet at that point. Eventually, as I began to feel more energy from my exercise (and some of my favorite shirts starting to fit again) I was able - willing- to make better food choices gradually. It probably took 4 to 6 months, but I'm back to my old sizes again (I don't worry so much about the scale). I'm probably still 10 lbs heavier than my lowest weight, but I feel ok. you can look at my profile for the latest picture taken earlier this month at my daughter's graduation.

My point is, be kind to yourself, and take the marathon approach, rather than the sprint...at least that approach works better for me. Remember that even if you did stretch your pouch, you still have the malabsorption working for you, so not everything that you eat will be absorbed. You have not failed as long as you don't give up.

I'm sorry about your loss.
cyber-hugs,

Christian

Failure is failing to recognize you have a situation you now have to rise above. You're already there, and it's time to jump off the edge whether there's somewhere to land or not.

Chaos and emotional pain are perfect tyrants that mutilate your former life. They make you feel as if you have to defy gravity to survive. That's a hefty lot for many, and I know of no one who has done it without some kind of fallout. That's where you're at. The ever reaching fallout from unimaginable pain. I'm in my own stage of fallout right now so I know what you're dealing with. You have good days and other days where you don't even think you'll ever breathe again. It's not easy. But you're not alone.

One thing I've noticed in my own recovery from my life being completely uprooted is how apathetic I've become. I could care less about anything. If I could, I would burn every last bridge attached to me just to roast some marshmallows. My health is the least of my concerns right now (especially my eating - who cares about rules? My life sucks. Right?). What concerns me is how to lose the apathy and learn how to actually care again. I'm slowly working on it, but I'm finding THAT part harder than actually following through. I know I can follow through, I just have to care enough to WANT to. It's definitely a double edged sword.

Just make better choices every day. I know it's hard but TRY. That's all I'm doing. I'm still falling off the wagon emotionally and physically (thinking EAT THAT, and then I DO) but not every second of every day like I was doing. Good days and bad. And I don't care how many WLS's you could have, the pain will still be there to thwart your success. So work on surviving the day in and day out of your new life and everything will eventually come to order. All you have to do is try.

All my best to you. Reach out whenever you need. I'll be here.

Jenny