HEART BROKEN

I would recommend taking your loved one to a support group meeting - largely faciliated by your hospital or your doctors office can tell you of those.  Also - I included any doubters in the process, hospital etc. and they came away so convinced that this was the right thing for me.   Though I was the one who made the decision and told them that.

 As a minister I must state that unless you are not a capable adult- then your daughter is out of line.  It is perfectly okay for her to disagree- but entirely wrong for her to tray and tell you what to do.  

One of the problems in this generation is that many adult children try to have too much control over their parents.  It's a huge problem where I live and causes so much heartache.

Do what is best in your wisdom and remind your daughter you are not her child.

Also the suggestion about support groups is really good.

God bless,
JB Skaggs

I have no idea what kind of relationship you have with your daughter, but it doesn't sound like she wants to control you, but is just trying to express her serious concern. No child ever wants to be put in the position where they think there is a possibility of losing their parent. When my mom had surgery (to remove fibroids) I was freaked out, but I obviously couldn't tell her not to do it.

Maybe you can let her have her time to express her concerns and you can tell her that it's not an open discussion or debate. It's your decision. You are not going for some experimental procedure that carries an extremely high risk of death or serious complications.

Perhaps lead her to this site so she can see how many success stories there are, and give her an idea of what to expect. Spend time with her reading over information about the procedure to help put her at ease about the surgery. A little education might go a long way to get her support. I'm sure she wants to be supportive but is terrified.

Much love to u , I would pray and she will come around once she sees how good u feel and look. would she rather loose a mother in a seconf due to being over weight or have her Mother for many many more years to come?


Look many persons are easy to say this has not enough research but look at lasik surgery look at heart transplants were in the Futire theres now Face Implants


I understand she may be scared you may honestly have a one and one conversation with her even thou she may not support you u dont need to know


YOU HAVE US ALL HER FROM OBESITY HELP

 Remind your daughter that not only are you a grown woman but you are her MOTHER and it would be wonderful if she would stop trying to act like she's your mother instead. Remind her you are quite capable of making an informed decision with the help of medical doctors and nutritionists and, while you appreciate and understand her concern, it's your decision to make, not hers. Then firmly let her know that if she can not support you in your efforts, then it will simply not be a topic for discussion and refuse to discuss it with her. Just don't even let it even start. If she tries to bring it up again, change the subject. Eventually she'll get the hint.

Stephanie M worded her reply very well!  While it is nice to know they are behind you, you need to do what you feel is best for you.

I'm sorry, but it sounds like your daughter has no idea what she's talking about. Countless others have proven the opposite--their surgical tools enabled them to change their lives. Does your daughter know that beyond a certain weight, your body operates in a different chemical fashion than the body of a person who has never reached that weight? It's not just a matter of following a healthy lifestyle for us--it's using the power of science to put us on even ground with our weight loss efforts.

 I am sorry your daughter is not on board.. I am daughter and my mother is in the process of having this surgery as well.. but she never tried to make me not have the surgery and I think she felt 100 times better after seeing me have the surgery..

I can understand her concern though but either shes with you or shes not with your dont let it sway your decision. 

Evie,

A few years ago my mom told my siblings and me that she was having knee replacement surgery. We didn't know anyone who had had this surgery done, and were of course concerned about her having surgery and possibly complications and possibly dying (that is the root concern for it all, isn't it?). My sisters spent some time trying to convince my mom to just go for more walks - her knee was bad because of her weight - and telling her that her knee would get better if she exercised. Surely she was overreacting and just hadn't tried hard enough!

Of course, she had spent years going to specialists, getting cortizone shots, taking NSAIDs, and being miserable, and coming home from work every day in pain, but we were blind to that because all we were thinking about was ourselves. We hadn't done our research, we didn't know what to expect, we only focused on ourselves and the thought of our mom in the hospital. We were convinced that she didn't need her knee surgery.

Thankfully, we didn't fight it very much, and my mom had knee surgery. Of course it was scary for us to see our mom in the hospital and having to go through extensive therapy, etc. She had such a good experience with her knee replacement that she had her other knee replaced a year later. Her arthritis pain in her knee is nearly gone, and she is able to walk and work without struggling, as she did for years.

This is a long way for me to tell you that only YOU knows what is best for YOU and YOUR health. My guess is that your daughter's concern is coming from a good place, but she is also likely very scared that she will lose you. Definitely bring her - and your husband - to a support group meeting, as someone else suggested. Answer all of her questions and concerns. But if this surgery truly is right for you, then you need to do it, regardless of what she says.

I so agree with the others, it is fine for her to disagree, she has that right but her right to disagree stops there. She can voice her concerns but that is the end of the discussion, would she rather you drop dead in 6 months from a heart attack because of being  overweight? This surgery may cause many changes in your life, you are going to gain selfesteem and inner strength. Some people are not going to like this, they are used to you being kind and agreeable, but you have to hold your ground. If she can't be supportive then just don't allow discussion of the surgery at all, period, end of discussion.
You deserve to do this for you and no one else but you. Family members don't like change, they want everything to stay comfortable the way it is now, but baby there's a change a comin'. It is Evie's turn in life and you may lose some parts of your current life but you will gain what's best for you. Butterfly shed your cocoon and soar!