right reasons or wrong reasons

Totally agree with Carmelita! Can't compare yourself to someone who is anorexic. You are making a POSITIVE change, not a negative one! Good luck with everything. Hope you make the decision that is right for you. Yes, it's scary, but wow did it make a difference in my life ALREADY!

Mutilating?  Anorexic? Sounds a bit harsh.  Do you have health concerns related to your weight? Yes or No.  Are you Obese? Yes or No.  Have you tried dieting before today? Yes or No.  Do you want to improve your health? Yes or No.  If you can honestly answer No to any or all of these questions you should not have this surgery, but if your answers are Yes then you probably should have this surgery. 

Will you question yourself after surgery? Yes, if your normal.  Will you know you did what you needed to do? Yes.

I could care less if you follow through witht he surgery but at least be honest.  Will it be a valuable tool in controling your weight and perhaps saving your life?  It is all of that and more for me.

Obesity is also a mutilation of your body, and it hurts every organ of your body.  Yes, you're having most of a major organ removed, but its removal is going to take the stress off of so many other parts of your body.  You're going to feel so much better when the weight comes off.  This surgery is not about aesthetics, but health.  Looking better is just another positive side effect.

And if this isn't where your head is, then you need to take another look in your head and get it in order!  The surgery is easy - nerve-wracking, but easy.  Dealing with your mind after surgery is the hard work.  And, by the way, you don't wake up from surgery and "feel" your stomach gone.....until several weeks later when you try to eat!

 I had some of the aniety that you talk about...Am I doing the right thing? Then I thought about the consequences of not doing the surgery...Diabetes getting worse, my kidneys failing like my mother's, having a stroke like my grandmother had with diabetes, having full knee replacement like my mother had to have due to being 100lbs overweight or having my leg cut off like my step dad did do to diabetes..getting to the point where I couldn't go anywhere any more because the weight was just too much for me to carry!  I told myself, you have researched and tried everything over the past 30 years and you can lose the weight however you CAN NOT keep it off and when you gain it back you ALWAYS gain more!  This is the safest surgery of all surgeries, I don't have to take 15 pills a day due to malabsorption so after all of this I knew what I was doing was right.  Was I scared the day I went in for surgery...YES!! I am always scared when I have surgery so this was no different. I always pray with my doctors and  before surgery and ask God to assist them and I tell him how scared I am (which he already knows before I say it). Then I say give me the antisthetic and let's get this over. 
After the surgery, I have had a lot of nausea and head junk started happening...I did not sign up for this pain !  I remember last week telling one of my co workers, I feel like I have been castrated! Then I started laughing...He looked shocked at me and then we both laughed.  I haven't had the head hunger but I think everyone has some type of head problems either before or after surgery but we just have to realize that is exactly what it is is head junk.  The best thing you can do is have the mind over matter philosophy...If I don't mind it (head talk) doesn't matter! 
Am I saying this is an easy surgery?  No.  Am I saying this surgery is worth it?  Absolutely for me!
Am I saying it is the best thing for you?  No, I think that is what you need to decide for yourself.
I had several friends who had already been through WLS and have been telling me for close to 2 years IT IS A LIFE CHANGE! DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SURE IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!  I say that to you.  I was approved 2005 and backed out as I just wasn't ready.  By November 2010, I knew I was ready and went forward.  When my paperwork was about to be turned in, I went to my last appointment with the dietician and sat there and cried and said I think I need another month to think about this can you wait on turning my paperwork in? 
She said well, it takes about a month for the paperwork to be approved so we will go ahead and send it in and if you decide after your are approved not to do the surgery, that will be fine.  You will have 5 or 6 months to have the surgery before you have to be re approved.  The anxiety was really overwhelming for me when I left that day. By the time I was approved about six weeks later I was finished with the head junk and have never regretted my decision.  I feel like I have done what is best for me and that is all that matters.  Many people knew I was an advocate against all WLS and were so surprised that I had this surgery.  When they ask me why I did it...I simply say it is the best thing I could do for myself.  I need the help to not regain the weight and this is the only way that I can have a 95% chance of not doing that from now on.  It has not always been easy however it has definitely been worth it!
I hope that all of the postings you have here have helped you to make your decision.  If you need to wait, WAIT...!  

Maybe I shouldn't have written down all those thoughts--- I think it looks worse than it is. I have my "demons" but they aren't my main motivators. I guess I hoped I wasn't alone with these feelings, and it sounds like many of you have felt the same way.

Personally, given the experiences I've had in my life, I think anyone in similar shoes would feel brainwashed about attitudes about fatness. It doesn't seem that unusual to me in our culture.

It's kind of like a lifetime of brainwashing is peaking intensely right now in the days before surgery. I hope I'm not that unusual--- I'm just admitting how powerful those feelings are.

If you ask me what mainly do I hope to achieve--- I  hope to FEEL HEALTHY AND STRONG. I've struggled with chronic pain and fatigue for years. I hope to be strong enough to embark on a journey back to school soon, to study music.

I have meditated on this (my version of prayer). I've noticed that I sense thoughts both for and against the surgery. A really interesting trend which has been clearer and clearer is that all the thoughts against the surgery seem almost hysterical while all the thoughts in favor of it seem calm, reasoned, and not in the least pushy, just helping to support me.

You're nothing like an anorexic.  An anorexic limits food due to psychological reasons, one of the more common ones is a deep seated need for control; food is one (unhealthy) way where they can exhibit it as a means of coping with issues where they feel out of control.  Unfortunately their attempts at exhibiting their control results in dire health consequences.

On our end of the spectrum, dire health consquences await us if we DON'T take control.  While some are able to be successful with diet and exercise alone, that's usually not enough when we're talking about people for whom obesity has been a long-term issue. 

That little voice that's trying to talk you out of surgery?  That's the part of you that doesn't want anything to change; it wants to keep on eating whatever it wants, whenever it wants while willfully ignoring the toll its taking on your health.  It's your gremlin and you have to learn how to recognize when it's trying to assert itself and how to shut it up.

It's only a stomach and one that is too big for it's own good.  There are no wrong reasons to want to get thinner and healthier.

The rest of your body is going to thank you for surgically removing part of an organ that is making you unhealthy and fat.

You will not be starving yourself.  You will be eating a normal portion of food, one that your big stomach is making it impossible for you to do.  I say good riddance to excess and hello to a better body in every way.  You deserve it.

I understand your frustration with having to have surgery to get what you should have, but the human body needs help to get itself right.  That is why they do heart surgery and and talke out gallbladders gone bad.