right reasons or wrong reasons
As I have said in my other posts, I'm getting scared ("cold feet") about the surgery next Thursday. I'm scared of pain, basically. Either right afterwards, or extended symptoms.
I'm having lots of thoughts running through my head that seem judgmental. Like
"You're mutilating yourself just to be thin!"
"You're no different than an anorexic model who starves herself!"
I'm mainly doing this for health reasons. At least that's what I consciously think.
But I cannot deny I look at thin people and envy them. I envy what I imagine they have, some great experience of life that is denied to me. I don't think that's the reality, though. I don't think that being thin, in the sense that I imagine other people would like me more or just to conform to societal norms, is that big a deal.
I may have good intentions, but basically I'm confronting the reality that I have some misplaced intentions. I am a bit like an anorexic, who choses to limit food via the surgery rather than willpower. I'm not saying that's ALL of me, but that part is there.
Sometimes I feel like I'm getting revenge on my stomach for "letting me down."
These feelings are uncomfortable because I know those are the wrong reasons. Mutilating myself as self-punishment is not the right reason.
I don't think it's the main reason I'm doing this, but in this scary time with the surgery just a few days away, these doubts are swirling through my brain.
I'm having lots of thoughts running through my head that seem judgmental. Like
"You're mutilating yourself just to be thin!"
"You're no different than an anorexic model who starves herself!"
I'm mainly doing this for health reasons. At least that's what I consciously think.
But I cannot deny I look at thin people and envy them. I envy what I imagine they have, some great experience of life that is denied to me. I don't think that's the reality, though. I don't think that being thin, in the sense that I imagine other people would like me more or just to conform to societal norms, is that big a deal.
I may have good intentions, but basically I'm confronting the reality that I have some misplaced intentions. I am a bit like an anorexic, who choses to limit food via the surgery rather than willpower. I'm not saying that's ALL of me, but that part is there.
Sometimes I feel like I'm getting revenge on my stomach for "letting me down."
These feelings are uncomfortable because I know those are the wrong reasons. Mutilating myself as self-punishment is not the right reason.
I don't think it's the main reason I'm doing this, but in this scary time with the surgery just a few days away, these doubts are swirling through my brain.
I can relate to what you are feeling...
But I believe you need to start trusting the facts and stop 2nd guessing yourself.
My Father is a PCP and graduated the top of his class at UCSD Medical School
He had RNY WSL 4 years ago and I still have a father because of it!
Insurance would not cover WLS if it WAS NOT a recognized Disease!
This is from the Bariatric Center of Excellence:
The Disease of Obesity
---Obesity is a major health issue in America today, second only to tobacco use as the leading preventable cause of death. Consider these facts:
Chin up my friend, you are doing the right thing. There is no shame in WLS - another fact...Out of 100 people who lose 100lbs or more. ONLY 1% keep it off without WLS.
There is no "mutilation" here, if you needed gall bladder surgery to save your life then you would get it...No difference saving your life with VSG.
Jason
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Kahlil Gibran
But I believe you need to start trusting the facts and stop 2nd guessing yourself.
My Father is a PCP and graduated the top of his class at UCSD Medical School
He had RNY WSL 4 years ago and I still have a father because of it!
Insurance would not cover WLS if it WAS NOT a recognized Disease!
This is from the Bariatric Center of Excellence:
The Disease of Obesity
---Obesity is a major health issue in America today, second only to tobacco use as the leading preventable cause of death. Consider these facts:
- Two-thirds of all American adults are overweight
- One in 20 Americans is considered morbidly obese (100 or more pounds overweight)
- Obesity rates have nearly doubled in the last 20 years
- 400,000 people die every year from obesity and related issues
Chin up my friend, you are doing the right thing. There is no shame in WLS - another fact...Out of 100 people who lose 100lbs or more. ONLY 1% keep it off without WLS.
There is no "mutilation" here, if you needed gall bladder surgery to save your life then you would get it...No difference saving your life with VSG.
Jason
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Kahlil Gibran
VSG Surgery on April 26th, 2011
"Get busy living…or get busy dying. That's goddamn right." ~ Red, The Shawshank Redemption
"Get busy living…or get busy dying. That's goddamn right." ~ Red, The Shawshank Redemption
I'm gonna be straight up with you......
I question if your ready for this?
And what's up with this Anorexic crap?
Sure we all had a certain amount of anxiety....
But you need to go into this with clear intentions and give it a focused effort......
Not trying to scare you out of it..... I just question if it's better than putting whip cream on horse crap....
Anorexic.....mutilating....starving models.....
Come on..... your getting your stomach re-sized to your current and future needs.....
Sorry to be harsh with you.....but you put it out there like that.....
frisco
SW 338lbs. GW 175lbs. Goal in 11 months. CW 148lbs. WL 190lbs.
" To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art "
VSG Maintenance Group Forum
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/
CAFE FRISCO at LapSF.com
Dr. Paul Cirangle
Ok... I think you are letting your mind run wild. This surgery is a HUGE life change, and it is perfectly normal to have anxiety about it. There is absolutely no comparison between obesity and annorexia, EXCEPT that they are both serious health problems that require medical intervention to save the sufferers life! I understand about feeling envious of skinny people. That too is normal. Are health problems the main reason I am having VSG? Yes. But, I am also excited to be thin again. To look better, and feel better. To not ache everytime I move. Who doesnt want to look better? I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal, you just have to reign your mind back in a little and try to be rational, because right now, your thoughts are not rational. They are pure anxiety. You can let anxiety rule your decision! You need to remember the facts... Why you really want this, and just how much this is going to help you. This is not mutilation, its a medically recognized and widely used tool to help people who suffer from obesity. Caould you maybe call someone in the hospital where you are having your surgery and make an appt to see them one last time? I am sure they have heard it all before and they can help put your mind at ease.
If you are worried about the actual surgery and pain, don't. I am 4 days post op. The worst pain I experienced thru this whole 4 days feels like bad gas pains. You are on meds at the hospital when you wake up and feel no pain. This was my first surgery, it was less painful than a root canal. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or worries about the surgery process.
Follow me on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/user/meemhull
HIghest weight 308 Apr 4th
Preop weight 292 Apr 20th
HIghest weight 308 Apr 4th
Preop weight 292 Apr 20th
I am having my surgery on Wed. Yes, there is a little anxiousness but as I am getting answers to my questions, accepting the post-op diet & getting necessary items in the refrigerator ready for my return on Friday, and putting my house in order, the anxiousness is turning to peace. I have come to terms that this is for my long term health and quality of life. For me that is the only reason I would do it and because I am comfortable in knowing why I am doing it, I have no concerns on that front.
I have heard of people who have had the emotional battles AFTER surgery. I have heard those in support meeting who mourn the loss of food. It almost seemed as if they weren't mentally or emotionally ready for the surgery. I think this can have huge effects on the success of the patient. From what I hear from you, I too am concerned if you are ready for this surgery. Call your office and talk to their staff! Do they have a psychologist on staff? Maybe they can fit you in quick and go over some things. You can always push this back a little to give yourself time to be sure that you are ready and then will be more successful. Its a HUGE change so if you aren't ready, its really not the best thing for you this minute.
Good Luck!
Lisa
I have heard of people who have had the emotional battles AFTER surgery. I have heard those in support meeting who mourn the loss of food. It almost seemed as if they weren't mentally or emotionally ready for the surgery. I think this can have huge effects on the success of the patient. From what I hear from you, I too am concerned if you are ready for this surgery. Call your office and talk to their staff! Do they have a psychologist on staff? Maybe they can fit you in quick and go over some things. You can always push this back a little to give yourself time to be sure that you are ready and then will be more successful. Its a HUGE change so if you aren't ready, its really not the best thing for you this minute.
Good Luck!
Lisa
HW: 399 SW: 380 CW: 305 GW: 150
On April 24, 2011 at 6:32 AM Pacific Time, Carmelita wrote:
OMG you are right where I was over 2 years ago. I posted almost the same exact content! I perceived basically that peeps here were sayin that I was full of ****! That what I expressed was normal pre-op jitters, and when I posted the same at ~3 months out...the vivid dreams, the regret spiritually n physically at having mutilated my body TO GET HEALTHY...they also told me I was full of **** then too! lolol and that it was normal hormonal hell, buyers remorse type post op feelings. Hey it wasn't easy for me to wrap my head around removing 2/3s of a normally functioning organ to 'get healthy'!! I never had my stomach cut off before! lololBasically at the time, the VSG board is ONLY SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS and there was no place for such negativity! lololol WHATEVER!!
Mike...I don't know IF your going VSG for vanity reasons, I highly doubt it cuz yer havin a difficult time accepting this 'drastic' lifestyle change. I did it because my back was up against the F-N wall....I had no where else to go...to get me out of my obesity related comorbidities. I had been a tickin time bomb for 15 YEARS!! just gettin OLDER and FATTER and SICKER...all my attempts to lose weight ON MY OWN... till I got that diabetes II diagnosis...I even did the diabetic diet..in one last attempt to SAVE me from myself. Oh I lost weight...but IT DID NOTHING for my labs. I was still diabetic!
3 months...post VSG...ALL 5 of my obesity related comorbidites were RESOLVED!! Wiped off the face of my chart... STILL GONE!!
The weight loss was just a bonus to me! I didn't get VSG to be skinny...there was no issue of vanity whatsoever in my decision. I DID IT TO SAVE MYSELF!
And post VSG...I ain't skinny...I can't relate to those peeps here that are more consumed with food, and some number on the scale than life. I don't get it...but that's alright...it ain't ME.
Maybe yer back is up against the wall, maybe yer tickin time bomb and at the end of your obesity trail..where NOTHING ELSE WORKS!! n you must look at another strategy. LET IT GO!
Maybe ya won't get skinny either, but maybe you'll save yer life...where ya can get back yer life, enjoy yer life, with energy and enthusiasm that ya may not have felt in years! Oh it won't happen for awhile...it'll take a few months! But one day...I will GUARANTEE YA....you'll share the #1 regret on this board... THAT I DIDN'T DO IT SOONER!!
What helped me...was taking LONG WALKS and having LONG TALKS with my number#1 support, clearing my head,and getting through the various stages...of pre-and post op VSG life.
That didn't stop me from havin second thoughts the minute before they wheeled me into the OR tho lolol...my husband said, as I fixated on that door's exit sign, he'd tackle me from bolting....he knew...all the diet attempts, watchin the progression of my obesity related diseases through the years, my quality of life headin in a downward spiral, the research, the time, money involved in getting ME to acceptin the pemanence of VSG...and wasn't about to see me turn my back on somethin that would HELP ME finally.
Your weight has nothing to do with the size of your stomach ...altered or not...
What gives US the "edge" is portion control (restriction) and drastically reduced "ghrelin" the hunger hormone. We DO gotta work it a bit harder in the exercise dept...because we don't have malabsorption doin it for us so heads up to keepin active post VSG!
Ya always read it on this board post op....THIS TOO SHALL PASS, IT GETS BETTER....there's a reason these little mottos are so prevelant around here.
This board is a good start! Im an old goat...been around a while.... there is somethin about this gift ........this second chance to do it right...that's frickin incredible! You just keep on POSTING!! Postive, negative, it don't matter!! Hopefully someone here will HELP make this transition, the phases a little smoother for you!
Give a shout out to the guys here put "GUYS" in topic line. Im seein more n more modern thinkin men here....that aren't into rearrangin their guts and all the problems related to malabsorption.
they just need that "edge"...Visit the MAN CAVE..the men's forum here on OH too...most guys get RNY...that I know in real life too anyway..but the Man Cave is just that...no dames I tried believe me! they ran me out 3 yrs ago n never went back! lol http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/
Mike I just cannot wait to see the LIGHTER YOU! VSG doesn't change yer personality!
JIMBO... 350lbs! lost!..... TRIPLE CENTURY CLUB!! HELL ...YEAH!
MY VSG......KICKS ASS! 
I am 6' 2" 
Hello, I can only give you the perspective of a whimp who is 5 days post op. I can say you are voicing concerns many of us have had, others have had for us but said a little differently. I also had the thought of what the HELL am I doing to myself.... really.... to be thin??? But what it comes down to is even if my thoughts were consumed by how I would look.... the big difference was going to be how I felt and I was going to be healthier and be able to participate more in life. So whatevery your reasons, you will benifit in countless ways.
From a 5 day out perspective.... I woke up hurting but that was because I have a narcotic sensativity and theys didnt give me any till I woke up. I was very quickly comfortable for the rest of my stay. The day after I came home I was feeling sick and sore and became very depressed. My Dr called in a perscription for an anti nausa med and Immediately felt better but still depressed and thinking what have I done! The last few days have been alot better and I am now looking forward to the future and anxious to see how my life will change for the better. I can say that right now.. I dont regret my decision.
That being said. This is not a decision to enter into lightly. If you are having heavy reservations about the surgery, maybe you should postpone the surgery untill you feel better about your decision. Call your insurance company and ask how long your approval is good for. Mine was good for 90 days. Please keep us updated.
From a 5 day out perspective.... I woke up hurting but that was because I have a narcotic sensativity and theys didnt give me any till I woke up. I was very quickly comfortable for the rest of my stay. The day after I came home I was feeling sick and sore and became very depressed. My Dr called in a perscription for an anti nausa med and Immediately felt better but still depressed and thinking what have I done! The last few days have been alot better and I am now looking forward to the future and anxious to see how my life will change for the better. I can say that right now.. I dont regret my decision.
That being said. This is not a decision to enter into lightly. If you are having heavy reservations about the surgery, maybe you should postpone the surgery untill you feel better about your decision. Call your insurance company and ask how long your approval is good for. Mine was good for 90 days. Please keep us updated.
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