Moving down the check list...Im doing ME! FTW!!! (long)

**LIKE**

I totally get everything you mentioned above.  I'm a stay-at-home mom (former licensed child care provider as well..couldn't handle the parents..lol).  I've been at home for so long, mostly because of my weight (I didn't feel I could handle working).  It's so difficult to now try and find a job when I don't have any recent experience.  I'm thinking of college now, at 40 yrs old.

I have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband is very happy w/our marriage and how things are.  I am not satisfied though.  He works ALL the time..so we rarely have time together.  He is always at work..or home though.  He's very much a homebody.  He doesn't like to go do anything, and he definitely doesn't like to go where there are many people.  Part of that is because of his job.  He's a Corrections Officer in a nearby prison..and its so loud and so many people around him all day..he just wants to be home in a quiet house when he isn't working.

I love meeting people now..I want to go do things.  Sad to say...but I do think I settled when I married him..only because I didn't think anyone else would ever want me.  He's a wonderful man..very caring..wonderful husband and father..but I'm just discovering me..and I just do not know if this is the life I want forever.  I cannot leave if I decided to..because I have no income.  I also don't know if I could leave because our youngest is only 10..and i wouldn't want to disrupt his life.  But how much and for how long do you live a life you just know isn't you....?

I feel ya Jenn...

Thanks for sharing.  You really know how to wear your heart on your sleeve. No pun intended. Laying it out and talking about your past, goals and concerns is a big step.  Very brave of you.

When I saw the title of this thread I was hopeing for some pics of... ha ha ha ZING!

But seriously, this post is truly inspiring.  It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing and a lot of insight and wisdom in understanding yourself and what you want out of life. Rock on!

Jenn..that is a great post! Ya gotta put it on your blog...if ya haven't already ,-)

You go girl! ....get them A's 

YOU ARE CAPABLE!

Best wishes forever

Jen,
You are phenominal person and don't ever let anyone make you believe otherwise! You have your head on pretty damn straight in my opinion! Make your plans and do what you have to to make your life worth living. Whether that includes your husband remains to be seen. Don't make the same mistake I made and "stay for the children". They were miserable, too, but were afraid to tell me.
It may not be easy, but anything worth having usually isn't easy anyway. Bless ya Sweety, and live your life for you!

Heidi

Jen, I too broke free of the world of being the victim.  Watching my husband cheat with whomever would move within the company that we built together kept me fat, scared, lonely and  exhausted.  I ran our business and took care of our two kids while he decided to move elsewhere until he finally declared he wasn't coming back because he didn't love me anymore. 

I too made my list:
1. Divorce the POS
2. Take him to the "Cleaners"   (I poured every ounce of me into researching how to do this and hired the nastiest attorney I could, just in case.  Never needed it.  We settled in mediation which I HIGHLY reccommend to those considering divorce.  Much more peaceful).
3. The kids and I moved to another city.
4. Get healthy (working on that one).

Eleanor Roosevelt one said "A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in ho****er. "   How true. 

Thank you for your post.  Sometimes I feel as though I am not doing enough, and your story inspired me that living as a victim is not an option anymore and indeed there is something we can do about it.

Ann

Awesome Post, Jen! I am still working on myself and haven't yet dug deep...but I know what you mean about school! I went back at 26 with a bunch of 18 year olds at the community college because I couldn't find a job--even a $9/hour job that didn't require a Bachelor's. I finally graduated at 30 (I'm 31, too) with my B.A. and realized that was something that no one can ever take away from me--my education. Now, I'm working on a Master's. :) I figured, what the hell? So, you can do this! It's totally worth all of the work and bull**** you have to go through for that little piece of paper. Good Luck! And you will LOOK AMAZING doing it! :)

Thanks so much Jenn for putting your true self out there...You are an inspiration for your kids to see that their mom is worth more than as you put it "housework & hormones".  We all have "baggage" but it's how you choose to move past it and grow from the trials - that's the measure of character.

I am truly sorry your husband is not on the journey with you - I can tell you personally that if mine was not it wouldn't work. He's half of me. Has he even seen anyone for depression issues? I don't wish to pry-that's your business but when people isolate themselves there's more to the story-we know it all too well don't we ladies...been there-done that-DONE WITH THAT!!!   You have gifts you haven't even tapped into yet...I can't wait to hear what you discover next!

Rock on, girlfriend. You've done great so far and will continue to shine!