450 lbs.... but Dec 30th is GO time

Perusing this board has lessened some of my fear and even provided a few laughs.  In a house with a gassy dog and child, I will be fitting in "more" post-surgery, I guess.

I am very concerned with the idea of people "knowing" about the surgery.  Am I crazy to try and keep this private?  I feel like gamblers and porn addicts can keep their addictions and issues to themselves (mostly), but my addiction is very obvious.  I expect to lose a lot of weight (God willing) and to have tons of questions.  Much like the pregnancy subject, I anticipate some rude or thoughtless questions in my near future. 

My second share .... what should I be doing ahead of time to make the recovery easier on me and my wife?  I don't see the surgeon until a week or two before.... what do I need to do and think about.

If anyone wants to adopt me as a guardian angel, I'm open to all the help and prayers that are out there!

"Johnny Haha"

You will be absolutely fine. It's going to be a crazy few weeks for you. My emotions were ALL over the place! I'm so glad I went through with it all. My life is so different than it was even six months ago!

I didn't tell anyone except close friends and family about the surgery until Friday, actually, I hit 100 lost and I'm at 5.5 months out - see my profile for more info (click my username). It's a personal decision. Some shout it from the rooftops and others keep it private forever. It's up to you and what your comfort level is.

There's not much you really can do. Start exercising now. Even if it's just to the end of the block and back. Get active however you can and start thinking about how you're going make yourself accountable.

The one thing that made THE biggest impact on me was getting a counselor lined up. I see her every two weeks and other than the surgery, it's the 2nd best thing I've done this year. I felt really weird about it at first, but I'm so glad I took that big scary step.

Best of luck. You're going to do great... just do what your surgeon says and hang in there!

Try and start exercising - that will help your body with the recovery.

Also start working on some of your emotional issues that may have led to weight gain - it is an addiction, and while surgery makes it easier to deal, the sooner you get started, the easier the recovery will be.


My advice about telling people - just tell them. It is way to hard to keep it a secret once the weight starts coming off and you are eating like a bird. I tried to keep it a secret for a short time and it was way to hard. I ultimately decided to just tell people and found a lot of support i wouldnt have otherwise had.

Welcome fellow NJ peep.   For me it really came down to doing EXACTLY what my doctor told me.  I lst 56 pounds pre-op and that in itself was a wonderful feeling.  Then I was down another 20 pounds at my 2 week post op.   I didn't tell many people at work but I did tell my "fav 5" if you will.  Mostly did it because this time of year at the office is party central with tons of luncheons, dinners and parties and I didn't want some to think I was just being anti social.   People notice when 75+ pounds are gone.   I also really increased my protein pre op and I truly believe this had a huge impact on my surgery results.  I also walked off the stretcher from recovery and into my room and then kept walking, sipping and doing whatever they told me to do.   There were 5 sleeve patients on the floor that same time and the nurses kept commenting that the other 4 had not even gotten out of bed.  Traditionally I am a horrible healer so I was quite nervous about what to expect but I was very lucky and it has all worked out.   Good luck!

Hi Johnny,

The decision to have this surgery is a very brave and courageous thing... you are going to be battling your mental/head hunger issues, lessening your chance of all the serious co-morbities due to morbid obesity and overall bettering your life. Congratulations on making this decision!!

To tell or not to tell is a very personal choice...for me, I told about 14 close friends before the surgery to ask them to pray for me. I created a Facebook page "Pray for Me please" and these friends kept my confidence and I would post updates.

As for family, I wrote a letter to my elderly parents (who care for a handicapped sister at home and have been very stressed with those issues) and I priinted the letter and info about the surgery and after my surgery was all over, my husband left to visit with them, share the papers I had prepared, and assure them that it was over and I was going to be fine. They know that had they known ahead of time they would have worried and it would have caused more stress than they need at this point in their lives. They are SO supportive now!! Thrilled that I was "brave" enough to do it, visited me twice in the hospital and both came over since I came home. It was a perfect decision to keep it from them until after.

Then just last night I shared it with my over 400 friends on Facebook... Why? Because I like my  life to be transparent and if I had been able to diet & exercise my way out of MO, I would have done it a long time ago. This time it is different. The surgeon has given me a powerful TOOL and I want the world to know that it is the TOOL that has enabled me to do this and lose weight, and it also gives glory to my God, because when I am weak, He is my strength.

Everybody has to decide for themselves what to do about this, I hope you can see that depending on cir****tances and relationships, you may choose a different path for different folks - before and after surgery.

And lots of good wishes to you in tihs journey!!!

i told everyone i come in contact with on a almost daily basis so when the weight loss happens(and i dissapear for a month) there will be no questions about it after other than "how are you?" right now i get the "what is that sleeve thing?" "or omg your stomach is going to be that small why would you do that"! i explain what it is and yes i want my stomach that small duh less in less on the outside as long as i eat right etc etc and very surprisingly i got alot of well wishers even from people i didn't think were paying attention to my spheel! and only one nay sayer outta the many nursing staff where i work (at least to my face)

I am with Veronica on this one.I tell anyone who will listen. I think for me keeping it a secret would have been very difficult. It helps me to keep my sanity when I know that I am be kept accountable by so many people.

Hi Johnny!

I just wanted to give you some encouragement.  My hubby was 425 pounds when he started his pre-op diet (Aug. 1), had surgery around 390 (Aug. 27), and he just hit the 100 pounds lost mark this weekend.  So 100 pounds in about 3 months (he DID have an issue with kidney stones for a couple weeks that made it hard for him to want to eat).  Of course, your results may vary, but I know it's nice to hear of someone's success with a similar starting weight.

I hear you on having our addiction "out there" for the whole world to see.  As far as who and should you tell....that's entirely up to you.  I've had a hard time with it.  I don't mind people knowing, but then again, I'm still dealing with the shame that I had to resort to surgery and couldn't get a handle on the weight on my own....personal demons, I suppose.   Hubby on the other hand, he's an open book...posted our locations and updates on facebook during our trip to Mexico and back...I was having a fit!

I used my time before surgery (I had to wait 7 weeks from scheduling) to try out protein drinks, and try to get re-accustomed to a low carb diet.  It seemed like forever at the time, but I ended up being really glad that I had that time to try out different things, and really think about what I was about to do and if I was ready.  I even dropped a few pounds during that time!

Good luck to you!  It will be here before you know it!

I'm amazed at all the amazing posts/replies, thank you all for sharing.  Incredibly helpful.

My wife is worried about the risk of me doing the surgery... I'm worried about me if I DON'T do it.

I forget what it's like to not worry about 1) walking too far and being sweaty 2) chairs (and booths!) and breathing too heavily.  I look forward to kicking my brother's a.s.s in basketball again, perhaps doing something active with friends instead of consumption (drinking and going out to dinner all the time).

At my size, I've always tried to be in the background (hard to hide as the largest person in any room), but I think I sometimes view the surgery as admitting failure.  As in, hey people, had to have surgery because I couldn't control my eating.  Hey world, I failed at something basic for most of the human race.

I'm not sharing ahead of time with anyone, will wait and see afterwards what I share with whom.  I do have a perfect cover story, in that my wife has gotten healthier over the last 2 years and I've given yet another New Year's resolution a chance.  Remains to be seen.

I'm lucky to have some good friends who will be glad I did something.  the other people who are nosy or jealous... let's just say I have a certain phrase (not happy birthday) in mind....

Naw....surgery isn't admitting failure.  It's deciding to quit beating your head against the wall and allow yourself to use a "tool" that will help you succeed.

It's not a magic fix by any stretch and you will have to still put in all the work to lose that weight.  Tell that to anyone who gives you crap about it.