off topic (sort of?) : need to vent

 i am baking cookies for a cookie and gift exchange tonight with some family and friends.  i am also cleaning the house.  my husband is playing xbox.  i am making spinach dip and didn't realize the mayonaisse i had expired, so asked him if he could run out to get me more.  he said, well i was going to change the sheets on the bed, so if you do that i will go out and get the mayo.  

what?  are you serious?  

my response:  you mean you can't handle getting both mayo and changing the sheets on the bed before you go to work in 3 hours?  

ok, i know it was a little jumpy of me, but i can't bite my tongue anymore.  since the surgery i noticed i don't hold back alot of my feelings, but then it makes me feel horribly guilty.  i'm not used to these feelings, since i used to eat them instead of deal with them.  believe me, i am holding back some things, but others i'm just letting the thoughts fly out of my mouth.  

anyone else been more verbally aggressive since surgery?! :O

Sorry you're feeling so angry-- I have also found that I "eat" my upset less and more often let it all out which often ends up in an argument with my friends/coworkers/partner or whoever, but in the end I feel much better.

Letting it out is a hell of a lot healthier than eating all of those cookies you've been baking!

 I have definitely been short with everyone.  I get irritated easily.  I feel like I've lost some of my patience.  I'm sure it's because I can't eat my feelings anymore.  I've been feeling guilty a lot lately.  Mostly because I think my depression came back and I just want to sleep.

changes in food habits can make you more snappish, especially if you were using food to cope instead of putting your feelings out there.

which isnt really a bad thing, because it is healthy to express them rather than eat them..

the problem arises..when people are accustomed to you kind of being quiet or a pushover and you start to express yourself more..

change does not always present itself how we would like.

 exactly!  i was always the quiet, easy going, "whatever you want" kind of person.  afraid to rock the boat.  i'm learning that i don't think i really am that person.  strange. 

This has been happening to me alot, I'm glad to see it's not just me being *****y!

This is just my opinion but I think when we are in the obese range we feel like we deserve a little bit less than thin or normal people.  Society makes us third class citizens and we accept that we have to be the one to make more effort in relationships and we better not complain or make too many demands if we are lucky enough to be in a relationship.  As we work so hard to lose the weight and see our success, our sense of self worth increases and we start to respect ourselves and expect others to do the same.  I think that shows up in little ways like you did today. ( and I think you we absolutely right) 

It's really not easy for me a lot of the time but I think we need to reset the limits in our relationships, nicely.  One of my friends has been talking recently about "maintaining her kindness" in annoying situations.  I liked that thought.  I also think about Patrick Swayze training bouncers in the movie Roadhouse-  "Make them leave-NICELY"  and the old Irish definition of Blarney  "tell them to go to hell in a way that will have the looking forward to the trip" 

Our changes can be hard on our loved ones too.  It's confusing and our new confidence can be threatening, so we need to be patient, but we don't need to be doormats either.  We just need to find our new normal  Don't feel guilty.  Maybe have a talk at another time when you are both cooled down and talk about how it makes you feel when you are up to your elbows in cookie dough and he doesn't want to pause the video game to run to the store for you.