Depression
I'm 16 days post op and I have been struggling with depression. I do not usually get this depressed before I had the surgery, but day 5 post op it hit me really bad. I think it may be from my indecisiveness before the surgery. (It took me about 5 months to decide to have the surgery, from prodding from my husband and deep soul searching for what I want out of life, I decided to just do it!) As I described it to my husband yesterday, it is like there is 2 sides to me. One is glad that I had the surgery so I can finally fulfill a lifetime goal and be thin and wear cute clothes. The other half is saying why did you do let someone take out your stomach. Now I can't eat all that I want. I can never go to Olive Garden and have 3 breadsticks and a salad and an entree anymore. I'll be lucky to eat a third of a breadstick. I can never go to IHOP and eat an entire omelet and a side of pancakes anymore. I may be able to eat a third of the omelet and forget about pancakes. I can never have more than one slice of pizza. I can't have my cheeseburger and fries and a soda all at one meal. My logic says that this is fat-thinking and I need to change my relationship to food. My emotion wants to cling to my old self and not let go. I have always been fat, thats who I am. But that's not who I want to be. Sigh, it is an ongoing battle.
Maybe it because I am still eating soft foods and really feel the restrictions on my diet. Maybe it will get better when I can eat real food again and larger portions. Maybe it will get better when I get closer to my goal. Maybe it will be ok when I actually hit goal. I don't know.
Does/Has anyone else felt this way?
Maybe it because I am still eating soft foods and really feel the restrictions on my diet. Maybe it will get better when I can eat real food again and larger portions. Maybe it will get better when I get closer to my goal. Maybe it will be ok when I actually hit goal. I don't know.
Does/Has anyone else felt this way?
HW: 210 SW: 193 GW:120 Ht:5'0" Age: 36
Mrsbergie,
Terry
I'm sorry you are feeling a depression. The truth is that you are mourning your old life and that is a very real and legitimate feeling. I think that focusing on that aspect of your decision can only lead you deeper into the depression. For me, I had a moment of clarity in which I saw that what was done was done and energy spent thinking about what I lost would do me no good. Fortunately, my moment came before the surgery so I woke up in a better state of mind. Let me put it to you like this, you have made a decision that will improve your health and keep you in the game longer. Your co-morbidities would likely have continued to degrade and you might have continued to gain weight and lose mobility. Now you have your whole life ahead without those burdens. You are free to think about the wonderful things you will do in the future instead of those you would have missed out on with your previous course. It is a wonderful thing to take control and move forward. You have made that wonderful choice. I hope your depression passes and you take full advantage of this gift of the future.
Terry
HW 420 SW 369 Pre-Op -51 lbs; M1-19;M2-15;M3-14;M4 -14;M5-13; M6- 14;M7-14;M8-10;M9-11;M10-11;M11-9;M12-7;M13-7;M14-5; M15-7; M16-8. M17-3. M18-6; M19-5. Goal of 200 (220 Lost) Reached Month 15. Goal of 180 (240 lost) reached at 18 months 10 days on 4/.20/13. 57% body weight lost@180. Now on maintenance. Low weight 169.
Beyond Goal
well MrsBergie, you have come to the right place. There are plenty of us that have the same thoughts and we are here for you to "talk to -- I also had the same thoughts (and still do)... I have been MO for about 16 years since I was pregnant with my son and food became a comfort and you are right, we have to change our thinking about what food should be - nourishment/fuel to our bodies and that is all... it takes time! And yes, maybe it will be easier when we are thinner and can wear smaller clothes and we can actually SEE the fruits of our labor!
I think it is wonderful that you can do this WITH your husband..he obviously loves you and just wants you to be healthier. You have his example, since he did this a few months before you, so in some ways it will be so much easier! My husband and kids eat a LOT and not all protein and veggies if you know what I mean, so I wish I was walking the journey with someone in my own house. At the same time though, this is your journey, so make sure you just don't follow someone else's steps and forget to do some of the "work" you need to - in other words, your husband may not have the same thoughts or struggles as you do, so you may need to work on those things with a therapist or someone else.
Best wishes to you on this journey - take one step at a time, one day at at time. That's all we can do!
I think it is wonderful that you can do this WITH your husband..he obviously loves you and just wants you to be healthier. You have his example, since he did this a few months before you, so in some ways it will be so much easier! My husband and kids eat a LOT and not all protein and veggies if you know what I mean, so I wish I was walking the journey with someone in my own house. At the same time though, this is your journey, so make sure you just don't follow someone else's steps and forget to do some of the "work" you need to - in other words, your husband may not have the same thoughts or struggles as you do, so you may need to work on those things with a therapist or someone else.
Best wishes to you on this journey - take one step at a time, one day at at time. That's all we can do!
50yr. old female 5'8" / HW 363 / ConsW 346 / SW 333 / CW 184.4
You made a decision to go for health rather than indulgence, so congratulate yourself! You will find as your journey progresses that your joy and pleasure will find other forms rather than overeating. A new life will open up to you. Yes, you may not recognize yourself as you go through your transition but when you finally shed your cocoon you will no doubt be pleased with your energy, stamina, delighting in the "new" muscles and bones you find in your body, and proud of the commitment you made to live a longer life with those you love.
It is helpful to visit a psychologist associated with your program who knows the issues we face as we transform. I am 2+ years out and benefited from a recent appointment and the continued support of the monthly meetings held at my hospital's weight loss center.
It is helpful to visit a psychologist associated with your program who knows the issues we face as we transform. I am 2+ years out and benefited from a recent appointment and the continued support of the monthly meetings held at my hospital's weight loss center.
i had surgery on the 19th of dec and have struggled with some of the same thoughts, feelings and emotions. good bye indulging at my fave chinese buffet, good bye unlimited soup salad and breadsticks at olive garden, etc, etc. each time i feel down and am really wondering if i made the right decision, i remind myself that that was the old me and that's why i'm in this situation. i force myself to think of things that i want to do when i'm thinner. i count my blessings for the joint pain relief i already feel with a mere 30 lbs lost. and yet, sometimes i still feel depressed and that's where this forum is so wonderful because i know others are going through the same thing, have already been here and done this and that life will be so much more worth living. and finally i tell myself that i can not let food dictate my life for me any longer. and have to keep reminding myself of that.
good luck!
good luck!
Fat is NOT who u r/were. Fat is what u LOOKED like. Now, as to who u r or want to be, that is entirely up to u. Think about it. Decide...and then go for it.
Btw, yes, i was depressed after surgery. Wondered what woud happen if i ever got stomach cancer, etc. Wow, my head was all over the place. Slowly, it dissapated and i was able to feel more and more comfortable with the new LOOKING me. I found that i could have any food that i wanted but not in the same quantities. And, u know, didn't want/need the same quantities anymore.
In March i will be 4 yrs. out. Believe me, it's worth it.
Btw, yes, i was depressed after surgery. Wondered what woud happen if i ever got stomach cancer, etc. Wow, my head was all over the place. Slowly, it dissapated and i was able to feel more and more comfortable with the new LOOKING me. I found that i could have any food that i wanted but not in the same quantities. And, u know, didn't want/need the same quantities anymore.
In March i will be 4 yrs. out. Believe me, it's worth it.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." - Eleanor Roosevelt
REVISED GOAL: 125 lbs.
REVISED GOAL: 125 lbs.
Thank you everyone. I will look at this feed when I need another pick me up. I appreciate your encouragement. I recently read there are extra hormones being released right after surgery and emotions can get a mess. I know that I am working for a new life, the person I want to be.
And Terry you reminded me that if I had continued on the same old path I would probably end up like my mom who has hip problems (or nerve problems, they don't know what it is). She cannot walk up stairs very well and she is only 62.
I will overcome!
And Terry you reminded me that if I had continued on the same old path I would probably end up like my mom who has hip problems (or nerve problems, they don't know what it is). She cannot walk up stairs very well and she is only 62.
I will overcome!
You have gotten some good responses. You are right about the hormones. Hormones are stored in fat and when we burn fat they are released into our blood stream in large quantities. That can make us depressed and feeling all over the place. it will pass from the hormones.
if your depression doesn't ease after a while don't hesitate to seek some medical help in the way of an antidepressant.
Just so you know,I *CAN* eat 3 bread sticks at one sitting and actually more than 3. I don't do it because carbs stop my weight loss,but I *CAN*.
You are likely going to be able to eat more than you think right now. You can eat *some * cheeseburger and fries one day soon if that is what you choose to do. can you eat the whole thing? probably not but maybe cause buns and fries are slider foods for some of us and just dissolve on contact with our sleeves. Sliders also seem to make more room in our sleeves so the hamburger meat would fit also.
This slider issue is death to many of our weight loss. Hopefully,once you get over this hump and find out you *CAN* do some of these things again,they won't be as important as they are now and you will be more happy to make wise choices for you.
And,girl,those cute little clothes just rock! Sunday I bought 2 pair of size 29 skinny jeans from forever 21! i don't know what size 29 translates into sizes I recognize but my azz is rockin those thangs,lol!
Hang in there,you r gonna be OK and we got your back. Welcome to OH!
if your depression doesn't ease after a while don't hesitate to seek some medical help in the way of an antidepressant.
Just so you know,I *CAN* eat 3 bread sticks at one sitting and actually more than 3. I don't do it because carbs stop my weight loss,but I *CAN*.
You are likely going to be able to eat more than you think right now. You can eat *some * cheeseburger and fries one day soon if that is what you choose to do. can you eat the whole thing? probably not but maybe cause buns and fries are slider foods for some of us and just dissolve on contact with our sleeves. Sliders also seem to make more room in our sleeves so the hamburger meat would fit also.
This slider issue is death to many of our weight loss. Hopefully,once you get over this hump and find out you *CAN* do some of these things again,they won't be as important as they are now and you will be more happy to make wise choices for you.
And,girl,those cute little clothes just rock! Sunday I bought 2 pair of size 29 skinny jeans from forever 21! i don't know what size 29 translates into sizes I recognize but my azz is rockin those thangs,lol!
Hang in there,you r gonna be OK and we got your back. Welcome to OH!
Hi Mrs. B,
First, I understand all of your feelings. I had some really blue days a few weeks after surgery, I even got a little bit weepy, and not just about food. I was told it was a common feeling associated with the rapid release of hormones stored in our fat cells as they break down during our early quick weight loss. That made me feel better. I still wondered if I wandered into the decision without enough thought and felt like OMG what was I thinking?
Seven months later life is pretty good. I've lost almost 90 pounds. I started in a size 3x scrubs, top and bottom. Today for the first time I put on medium pants and a large top! That is really exciting to me. I was at a big Sunday dinner with friends, some know about the surgery and some don't, and these people are some great cooks. The point is I didn't need anybody to cook any special meals for me. The menu was pulled pork and slaw sandwiches and 3 veggie sides. I was able to fix a plate of pork with a tiny spoonful of slaw and 1 roasted potato wedge as a splurge. I was satisfied with what I ate and although tempted to try the bread, I didn't miss it. One of the guys offered me more food, I said no thanks and that was it, no embarrassment or drama. You can still live a good life with our sized portions.
What you will add instead of the 3rd bread stick is better health, more energy and I've just noticed that I feel stronger. I can walk between tables at restaurants now (I used to be really afraid I'd get stuck between peoples chairs) It is easier to do almost everything I need to do, from tying shoes to reaching for things to taking a shower! I can't explain how worth it this is to me. People are looking at me differently in the mall, and men are looking at me, not past me.
I don't want to sound judgemental, but look at the positive. Thanks to the sleeve, I can eat anything I've tried, no dumping. Not even slimys or foamies so far. I eat healthier foods cooked for better flavor. You can still have an omelet, just not one that overflows a dinner plate, heck I don't even use my dinner plates any more, just the salad ones. There are even protein pancake recipes somewhere on this sit if you really have a craving.
Mrs. B, you can do this and be really successful. I've seen your husband's pics of you and you are so pretty now, just wait 6 months! You be telling a newbie the same things I'm telling you now and posting NSVs and gorgeous pics! Hang in there! I'm looking forward to your first NSV. Like one of the guys on the board said a few weeks ago, I'm pretty sure they threw the rest of your stomach away so you are stuck with us!
First, I understand all of your feelings. I had some really blue days a few weeks after surgery, I even got a little bit weepy, and not just about food. I was told it was a common feeling associated with the rapid release of hormones stored in our fat cells as they break down during our early quick weight loss. That made me feel better. I still wondered if I wandered into the decision without enough thought and felt like OMG what was I thinking?
Seven months later life is pretty good. I've lost almost 90 pounds. I started in a size 3x scrubs, top and bottom. Today for the first time I put on medium pants and a large top! That is really exciting to me. I was at a big Sunday dinner with friends, some know about the surgery and some don't, and these people are some great cooks. The point is I didn't need anybody to cook any special meals for me. The menu was pulled pork and slaw sandwiches and 3 veggie sides. I was able to fix a plate of pork with a tiny spoonful of slaw and 1 roasted potato wedge as a splurge. I was satisfied with what I ate and although tempted to try the bread, I didn't miss it. One of the guys offered me more food, I said no thanks and that was it, no embarrassment or drama. You can still live a good life with our sized portions.
What you will add instead of the 3rd bread stick is better health, more energy and I've just noticed that I feel stronger. I can walk between tables at restaurants now (I used to be really afraid I'd get stuck between peoples chairs) It is easier to do almost everything I need to do, from tying shoes to reaching for things to taking a shower! I can't explain how worth it this is to me. People are looking at me differently in the mall, and men are looking at me, not past me.
I don't want to sound judgemental, but look at the positive. Thanks to the sleeve, I can eat anything I've tried, no dumping. Not even slimys or foamies so far. I eat healthier foods cooked for better flavor. You can still have an omelet, just not one that overflows a dinner plate, heck I don't even use my dinner plates any more, just the salad ones. There are even protein pancake recipes somewhere on this sit if you really have a craving.
Mrs. B, you can do this and be really successful. I've seen your husband's pics of you and you are so pretty now, just wait 6 months! You be telling a newbie the same things I'm telling you now and posting NSVs and gorgeous pics! Hang in there! I'm looking forward to your first NSV. Like one of the guys on the board said a few weeks ago, I'm pretty sure they threw the rest of your stomach away so you are stuck with us!
putting one foot in front of the other... 
Thank you Kim, Congrats on your medium pants and large shirts! I can't wait til I get there. Actually my shirts are starting to look pretty awesome on me. I am about 2 sizes down in shirts to a large, I'll be wearing a medium in no time.
BTW I don't know why I waited so long to join OH, you guys are awesome!
BTW I don't know why I waited so long to join OH, you guys are awesome!
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