DEPRESSED
Hi All,
I still am 3 tens to reaching another goal. Wanting to be in the 140's. I had kind of been depressed about some things in my life, but with much praying I am doing better worked out 2 days at the gym last week
.
I finally found out how my sister died, over dosed on pain pills, that has just tore me up. I just wished I could of seen it coming, I hope and pray it was by accident. Her husband didn't; make things better by letting her lay on the hard wood floor for 6 hrs and not get her help. He sent me her ashes. There has been a family disagreement about what to do with them. Don't know why her husband sent them to me, I am the youngest of the family. I miss her so much and sometimes get angry at her for leaving me. Then other times I see her smile. She always called me the bossy sister. Her husband didn't like for her family to visit or talk on the phone with her, so we would go see her or call her at work. I think she has not gotten to share my weight loss with me. She would of been proud. I had my WLS in May , she died in July, so she got to see some weight loss.
When I get down like this I always want to turn to my old friend food, but I think I have it under control again. Took a lot of praying to get back on the horse.
Please say a prayer for me. Thank You all.
God Bless
Evie
I still am 3 tens to reaching another goal. Wanting to be in the 140's. I had kind of been depressed about some things in my life, but with much praying I am doing better worked out 2 days at the gym last week
.I finally found out how my sister died, over dosed on pain pills, that has just tore me up. I just wished I could of seen it coming, I hope and pray it was by accident. Her husband didn't; make things better by letting her lay on the hard wood floor for 6 hrs and not get her help. He sent me her ashes. There has been a family disagreement about what to do with them. Don't know why her husband sent them to me, I am the youngest of the family. I miss her so much and sometimes get angry at her for leaving me. Then other times I see her smile. She always called me the bossy sister. Her husband didn't like for her family to visit or talk on the phone with her, so we would go see her or call her at work. I think she has not gotten to share my weight loss with me. She would of been proud. I had my WLS in May , she died in July, so she got to see some weight loss.
When I get down like this I always want to turn to my old friend food, but I think I have it under control again. Took a lot of praying to get back on the horse.
Please say a prayer for me. Thank You all.
God Bless
Evie
Evie,
I am so sorry you have had so much stress to deal with. It sounds like your sisters
husband was a control freak and abuser. It is really a sad thing that your sisters
life was cut so short, and ended in such a tragic way. Maybe some grief counseling
could help you in dealing with the loss. Prayer helps with the healing process. May
God Bless you. I shall pray for you.
Barbara
I am so sorry you have had so much stress to deal with. It sounds like your sisters
husband was a control freak and abuser. It is really a sad thing that your sisters
life was cut so short, and ended in such a tragic way. Maybe some grief counseling
could help you in dealing with the loss. Prayer helps with the healing process. May
God Bless you. I shall pray for you.
Barbara
I want you to know that everyone of those feelings you are having is copmpletely normal. My GD went thru all of those feelings and more when her boyfriend took his life. Not saying that your sister's death was intentional just that anytime a life is shortened you go thru those feelings. The morfe you can share them and come to peace with them the easier it will be. Your pain is still very fresh and sharp so go with the feelings and try turning them over to God He helped my GD draw even closer to Him and He will do the same for you. Hang in there, it will get better or at least not quit as bad. Bless you!
Sigh....I lost my baby brother two years ago....losing a sibling is a different kind of hurt. For me, there was just the two of us. We shared secrets that he took to the grave. He was the one person on earth *****ALLY knew me. I still grieve his loss, but what I say about this weight loss of mine; is that now I have to LIVE for both of us. Each experience, each victory is his too.
Yes, I wonder if maybe I had not been camping when he came down with the flu, maybe I would have convinced him to go to the hospital sooner, what if I had helped choose a different hospital, a different doctor......we are human.....we have survivor's guilt.
How can the flu kill a 49 year old man ? He was a statistic of the H1N1 flu virus. I have no answer, I will never have one. It just is.
I am kind to his widow. I call her every week. I invite her to dinner, we talk. She grieves his loss in her own way. I accept that.
But I am living, and I celebrate life's joys.
Allow yourself to celebrate the joy's of life. If having your sister's ashes brings you comfort, then keep them close. If not look into having her ashes intered at a cemetery, or plant them in the garden, or scatter them somewhere to feed the trees and the land or seas.
Have a closing ceremony; have a memorial. Get closure. And forgive yourself, and forgive your sister for leaving you.
Then start to heal yourself.
I know you can do this.
Yes, I wonder if maybe I had not been camping when he came down with the flu, maybe I would have convinced him to go to the hospital sooner, what if I had helped choose a different hospital, a different doctor......we are human.....we have survivor's guilt.
How can the flu kill a 49 year old man ? He was a statistic of the H1N1 flu virus. I have no answer, I will never have one. It just is.
I am kind to his widow. I call her every week. I invite her to dinner, we talk. She grieves his loss in her own way. I accept that.
But I am living, and I celebrate life's joys.
Allow yourself to celebrate the joy's of life. If having your sister's ashes brings you comfort, then keep them close. If not look into having her ashes intered at a cemetery, or plant them in the garden, or scatter them somewhere to feed the trees and the land or seas.
Have a closing ceremony; have a memorial. Get closure. And forgive yourself, and forgive your sister for leaving you.
Then start to heal yourself.
I know you can do this.
Briar Rose 
High Wt 300 lbs. Pre-op Wt loss 34 lbs.
High Wt 300 lbs. Pre-op Wt loss 34 lbs. 
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