What is normal?

Not sure what's happening here but I still feel like I have "fat" issues. I just can't seem to figure out what "healthy thin" is.

I have several sisters. I stopped counting after 3 and most of them are very thin. I have always been the "fat" one.

As I sit here in my size 2 jeans, which fit me nicely, I think that they are way vanity sized. But I put on a size 4 skirt and it's a little big. (Must be vanity sized too, right?)

My sisters, only 2 of them, actually wear size 0 to size 2 without trying. One of them actually forces herself to eat carbs to keep the weight on. Yeah, I said "forces". and no I haven't shot her yet. She runs fast.

They are only one year apart from me in age and you probably couldn't tell us apart if you saw us now. (since I lost weight)

My husband says I look just fine now. (You're not gonna get much more than that outta him...it's just not in his nature)

I see a bulgy belly, saggy thighs, saggy "girls" and wonder if I still need to lose more.
My mind knows that there are skin issues but I can't seem to get it into my head that I've lost all the weight I need to.
I am still focused on those BMI and Fat % numbers and getting them right up the middle.

I have no idea what my sister weigh...they lie.
Maybe I'm just small boned? Small framed? Maybe 110 lbs is the right size/weight for "normal" for me? 

How the HELL am I supposed to figure this out?

I think I'm gonna need some counseling.
Right now I think I will never be thin and trim. Or I already am and I'm just mentally ill. (sigh)

Any thoughts from the vets?

donna

Hi,

Weight loss is very emotional.  And seeing someone might help you figure out what is going on.  Sounds like you have a little low self esteem which might be why you compare yourself to your sister.  I looked at your picture and thought WOW she is beautiful.  Stop comparing yourself to others.  There is only one of you in this world and I am sure you are just as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside. 

Give yourself a LOT of credit for all the weight you have lost.  Find something that make you happy and do those.  I walk everyday and that makes me feel so much better.

Hang in there and if you want to see someone then go.  I found that writing my feelings in a journal really were helpful to me. because sometimes if I told people in my family how I felt they were NEVER going to hear me.  But if I wrote it in a journal I was at least saying it. 

Hugs and stay in touch,
Suzanne

 I understand what you are saying. I also think you should talk to a professional, it sounds like there is more going on psychologically than just 'not knowing'.

As for numbers, there are tests out there to accurately determine your body fat percentage, there are tables of healthy weight ranges based on age, gender and height, etc. But you probably know this.

It seems like you are saying your head is confused more so than just not knowing where to find the information! I think it's probably normal and someone to talk this through with is a great idea!

Good luck!!!

No huge help from me, as I'm likely to have the same head issue if I get lucky enough.. I see myself much thicker than I actually am. It hurts my brain..

I do know, and try to keep in in the front of my brain that a.) my bones are likely a little denser than most, due to years of being MO (my whole life, almost) and b.) I likely have about 7lbs of excess skin alone, not counting the fat still stuck to it, all over my body... that and as a former MO for life person, those thigh muscles are going to be thicker than a normie as well.. So, all this says, I may not ever get down as low as I'd like to get per the scale/BMI charts.. I just may not be able to. 

Frankly, in the pics you've posted, I don't see you having much more to go if at all.. Take that as a compliment! Size 2-4 on a woman your height is still small, and it fits you well. Have you had a DEXA or such to measure your composition? I have not seen you naked with all the issues on display, so only you can be the one to judge if there's still excess fat hanging on.. plus, you have been hitting the weights- yes? So, if you are indeed building muscle, and still losing fat, the scale just won't show that. I recall a great post by Brandilynn showing her before training, and after (taken from the back) showing a huge diff in bodycomp and inches, but the scale only showed a 5lb loss!  

Edited to add: I am a very literal person sometimes, so if this was more about the "fat" head issues, and less about the body.. yes, I get that too.. but other than the above self-talk, I have not found a good way to reconcile what is with what I *think it is*.. yet.

I basically fit in a size 6 now and I have some of the same issues.  I look down at my thighs and my head sees them as the exact same size they were 100 pounds ago.  They look huge to me.  Same with my calves and my ass.

My arms look leaner to me.  I can see muscle definition.  Maybe, like how I lost my weight from top to bottom, my brain will also catch up with my smaller body in that order, top to bottom.  Who the hell knows?

It's a mind trip for sure.

That's what I'm sayin!
How can you be a size 6 and be basically the same height and weight as me?

I'm not lying. I really thought the size 4 and 2 stuff was vanity sized.

But every time I go shopping it's the same size 2-4??!!

I don't get it. Maybe I got really little bones?

Size 2-4 on a fat girl? Really?
I see other people who are size 6-8 and they look, to me, smaller than me.
That scares me a little. Now that I know the 2-4 thing is real.

Makes me want to look a lot closer at my mind/head stuff.
Something isn't adding up if you know what I mean.

Maybe its all the running I do?
I just don't know what to think.
And as a type A personality with control issues....that scares me more than anything.
donna

I've always been big framed/boned, whatever you want to call it. 

For me, the head stuff is huge... counseling is helping... helped a lot at first and now my progress is a lot slower... I guess I'm venturing into the harder stuff and therefore my progress to work through it is slower than with the easier stuff.  I highly recommend it.  The mind can really screw with you.

Either way, we're doing pretty darn good!

I feel ya.

Might want to take some outside counsel from a health professional (not someone close who is used to seeing you fat and might therefore say "oh you're too thin"). I think once we're in the normal BMI range, a body fat measurement is more meaningful than weight, so perhaps someone who can measure that accurately for you?

I have the same thing except when I look at my upper arms. Trying with weights to make them bigger. I have shoulder muscles and biceps but no triceps. Was I born without triceps? My legs look fat to me, though.

I dont think I have any low self esteem issues. I think I just use my sisters as a "size" judge. Because we are so similar in looks.

Mostly, I'm just trying to figure out if I'm "there" yet or not.
The weight goals we use, I use, are based on the BMI and Fat% numbers.
I do use a fat % device but it also cautions that if your are menopausal, it may not be accurate.

I've worked very hard to get to this place. I know that when I back it down to maintenance I may have issues with keeping the weight down. There's gotta be some wiggle room.

I'm not trying to be a 50 year old super model, but I want the most I can get out of this sleeve,
I just don't want to go crazy.

This is the first time in my life where being absolutly normal sized is even possible,
So, if it's possible, then I want it!

So, I say again...what is normal for me?

I like the idea of the fat% analysis. I did a google search and it seams there is a teaching college that will do this south of where I live.

I need answers. I'm going to go get them.

It doesn't matter what you look like, or what size you take. My best friend is 4'11 and has never weighed 100 lbs ever. But she has complained of feeling fat at times.
It's really about how you feel in your head and whether or not your healthy.

I like being slimmer, I like wearing nice fitting clothes. I like looking sexy.
But I also want to know when enough is enough because I could take this to the extreme with this sleeve.

What is my ideal weight/size? I shooting for 132 but I need to get some professional answers to this question.
just sayin
donna

I can't believe you posted this.  you posted a photo in a white dress the other day that made me seriously question my weight goal and what i was seeing in the mirror.  We were sleeved on the same day, both were lightweights, i was 188 you were around 200.  i now weight 135 but i still see huge in the mirror.  when i saw the photo of you i thought 'she's about the same weight as me and same height (5'4') how can i be so much bigger than her because she looks tiny.  my goal weight is 105 but i found myself asking 'where on her body is there 30lbs to lose?" and it just wasn't there.  you looked perfect to me.  So how can that be?  You look perfect and i feel i have 30lbs to lose and yes we have the same body type since i lost a D, so sad.  So i don't know.  I know I'm not about to let anyone else tell me it's time to stop but will i know?  It's very ******g confusing and annoying.  I just feel now as if i can't judge at all and so while I'm in this limbo the only thing to do is keep on trucking.  I do think if i end up looking like Cat Weasel maybe, just maybe I'll take that as a sign to get on maintenance, but I'm not all all sure that what I'm seeing in the mirror, has any reality at all.  Like you i am surrounded by size 0's and people who are totally committed to that as they're paychecks are conditioned on it but those people look so much smaller than me in my size 4.  size 4 seemed like an unrealistic target to me and now that i am here, it isn't what i expected.  Will i ever be satisfied by the woman in the mirror?  That's probably the real question.