Success and Struggles

Just wrote a kind of long blog post, here , about this weekend.  Give it a read and let me know what you think.

I swear you can read my mind. I am 6 weeks post op and everytime I go into a store I have to literally talk myself out of my old ways of life. I only hope that I can make this journey as well as you have. Right now I am fighting the grazing that I was used to doing before surgery. I have had good friends (or so I thought) tell me that I took the easy way out by having surgery. They don't seem to understand that the surgery helps you to lose but you still have to make an effort as to what you put into your mouth. So some friends have kicked me to the curb and those I wont worry about. I have true friends here that I can count on. Thank you for posting such an inspirational post.

 Rob,

Thanks for the blog post.  Very honest and sharing is often the best way to get your head around the problem.  Grazing was a big issue for me pre-surgery and I'm a bit worried about it later down the road.  I've frankly avoided anything I think might be a slider just because of this.  Yesterday I considered having some popcorn while I watched a movie at home.  It took a lot for me to reconsider and go for a protein snack instead.  The price of freedom is eternal vigilence with WLS too I guess.  Hang in there and congratulations on your success so far - an particularly on your identification of what could become a problem if not addressed.

 I'm only 3 months out and I'm beginning to struggle with these things as well.  Don't know how I missed your blog before but I'm really enjoying reading it.  Don't stop!

Great blog post. I would like to suggest to you that your last line is the most informative to me. The fat man you see in the mirror is the one that visits you when you are alone. He is not your enemy, he's fulfilling the role that you have assigned to him. He is keeping you from getting lonely and sad. He is your coping mechanism and he has played a very important part in your life up to now. You don't have to shake him, you need to give him a huge hug. When you needed him, he was there for you in the only way he knew how to help you. You have grown, changed, matured as a person and no longer have a need for the type of help he is offering you, but you still need him. When you are alone, he feels that need and quickly rushes to fill the void. He is not the saboteur, but the friend that alleviated loneliness. It sounds to me like you and he might need a conversation. Like any important conversation, this one is going to take some planning on your part. You are going to need to reassure him that you no longer need his help and then you are going to need to give him a different role to play in your life. This is not as easy as it sounds, because before you can convince him that you are fine when you are alone, you first have to convince yourself. You will need to really think through your feelings and emotions about alone time, come up with strategies you can use and use them until you are comfortable with them. Only then can you in all honesty convince him that you are fine. Even then you are not really done, the next step is to come up with job for him to help you. He needs a new role in your life. Maybe he can serve as your reminder of where you came from and how far you have come? Or maybe you will come up with a better plan for him, a better job. But don't just ignore him, he has been there for you when you needed him, he will be there for you in a new capacity to help you again. Think about it.

 Elina, 

As always your insight is both accurate and insightful.  I had the same thoughts as I was writing it.  It was not nearly as ominous a metaphor as it sounded.  

Thank you for replying.  Do you mind if I quote you in an update on the post?  Or posting your comment on there?

You, my friend, have permission to quote me anytime you want to do it.  Take care, and you so got this.

Rob and Elina - Thank you both so much for taking the time to post. You have both been such guiding lights for me. Today's comments have pushed my journey to a different level. A very heartfelt thanks to both of you!

Thank you for the kind words Pat.  I am glad something I said has helped in some way.  This journey keeps pushing me to become stronger and wiser, I am blessed to have such great people along for this ride.

Thanks for sharing that. I thought for some people this was just easy and happened and they just coasted through it. It does sound like you are tempted to have comfort food when your'e alone. I know my counselor said that the more times I say No to the comfort food (I'm triggered when alone, too, or on a plane or in a hotel or at business dinners), the easier it gets. The more I train myself to say no to the impulse, the shorter the struggle the next time until eventually it's second nature to say no. I think everytime you fight it, you are one step closer to it becoming second nature to you, as well.

I quit smoking in 2009. I had smoked for 15 years. I read a study that said the more times you quit, the more likely you are to eventually succeed. It's normal to stop and start and stop and start. Sure enough, after years of struggling, I just flat quit. I pray that you, and everyone that struggles on this journey, will have a day that the struggle is lighter and eventually is minimal enough to barely be noticed. I figure it took me 40 years to get here, it may take me a few to reprogram my impulses and thoughts but it can be done. You can do this, you've lost over 100 pounds and that is just simply amazing.