My Husband is Acting 9 Kinds of Crazy - Help!

PLEASE!!! Empty the accounts b4 he can!!!

How do you have major surgery and your husband doesnt go to the hospital or pick you up?? Marraige is 2 people who love and support eachother.. even if he didnt like your decision to have surgery doesnt he care for your well being or want to see you comfortable after going through surgery?  I'd rather be alone and raise my kids myself.. what's the difference? You are prob better off alone as compare to having someone who is not only completely oblivious to your feelings and making you happy but verbally abuses you and puts you down.  I hate to hear about things like this and its hard to give advise through a computer because I'm sure there are good times and things you love about him but this sounds like its time to put him behind you.

OP, pretend that your daughter is saying the same thing to you and asking what she should do.

 Track everything
Note when he drinks,what he drinks-does he pay for his alcohol with cash or card?
Note every nasty thing he says to you and your kids
Note any money he pays towards things/money of yours he uses.
Keep track of everything,be organized, have all your facts ready to go.
He wants you to think things will change and he wants you to be weak,they won't and you dont need to be.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope for yourself and your kids you get away from this alcoholic mess.

Al- Anon.... It helps families that are dealing with alcoholics in their lives... I would suggest counseling and a treatment program for him but it sounds like he would not do it anyway. I wish you luck. One day you will realise that you are worth more and deserve to be treated better. It sounds like he is using you as an emotional battering ram and you are so used to taking it you are rationalizing his behavior. You do not deserve it... and your children will be affected by his alcoholism and behavior towards you.  They will be the real losers if you something significant does not change.  Your daughter will come to expect this same treatment when she is looking for a husband and your son may act the same way towards his wife one day. Think about it...  Also his behavior is his responsibility you can not make him secure or stop drinking. His behavior is all about him.  I wish you luck....

 Your in Texas which is a community property state.... So it can get complicated.... I'm not a lawyer so not providing legal advise... But I did a quick search and here is a great article on property and dept.... Take a look at 


www.raggiolaw.com/txart05.html


Hope it helps

Sometimes the changes from this surgery puts strain on marriages.  However, I don't think the issue here is your surgery.  I'm sorry that your children have to witness his abuse.  This is a big deal beyond what reassurance can do. I fear escalation. Can you see someone immediately?

I'm so sorry you and your children are in this situation. It's easy to say leave but maybe not so easy to do. I can't imagine living with someone who gives you no respect. Your children are watching and learning from this...both your husband's actions and your reactions. This is how cycles begin and continue. I can't believe he wouldn't even go to the hospital with you!

My husband didn't want me to have surgery, but he knew it was going to happen. He took me, spent the night, and took care of me at home. We don't have a great marriage. I can't get him to compliment me on my weightloss or how good I look...which is good if I do say so myself! His idea of a compliment is to ask me every now and then how much weight I've lost, but he has NEVER made me feel bad about my weight and never called me names even in anger. When we do disagree, we rarely do it in front of the children. They know we argue at times, but we don't expose them to most of it.

Whether you are a Bible believer or not, 1 Corinthians 13 is the best definition of love...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

Does the way he treat you sound like love? You deserve better, but I wouldn't even begin to think about dating. You need to be safe from verbal abuse and neglect. Your children deserve that too. The above definition of love applies to them as well. They need to see this example of love toward them and their mother.

(((HUGS)) and best wishes!

I won't tell you what to do. You already know it.

I will tell you that my food issues are from living in a very abusive household with a very verbally and sometimes physically abusive father and a mother that ate her way through the pain - and loved us with food and treats. It's what she knew.

She finally left him after 25 years of marriage. I helped her. I wish she had left him when I was a kid because I still carry around those scars. BUT so does she.

This is about you. Your life. Your feelings. You already know what you need to do. Whether it's counseling for one of both of you or "packing your ****".

Take care of yourself. My email is candytx @ gmail if you need to talk. xoxo

Completely I agree happy teacher and her advice to research divorce before you do it. My mother and her husband both had decent incomes, but because she made more, she had to pay alimony!! He was the cheater! Start now by separating a few things and closing joint credit cards or be prepared to close them quickly. Alcoholics will drink up your entire paycheck and not think twice about using a credit card or hot check to buy liquor. I cant imagine working so some one can spend my paycheck on alcohol. I don't like working enough to spend money on that. Your kids will thank you for leaving, they don't want to see what is happening to you!! Start by asking him to quit drinking and go with him to his family physician to decide on a safe way to quit. Many people require help to quit and there is medication he can take so that the alcohol withdrawal is doable. Then after he quits get him to AA meetings. Then see if he can listen to your marital concerns. If he still is not capable of being in your marriage Run Run Run. Tell him detox and AA or else divorce. Then if he is still abusive tell him while he is sober that you are leaving because of the abuse. He can be sober in a week. Think about one week from now, your life can be different. Tell him that. Find out where the women's shelter is and be ready to go. Good luck.