Admission- I have been drinking too much...

I'm embarassed. I know all the warnings were there about switching addictions blah blah blah.

Help! I need some kind encouragement, words of wisdom and tips/reminders to stay on track and be healthy.*please don't bash me, I do it to myself enough.

I don't know if it's because I am bored, restless, enjoy it. Probably all. I have always enjoyed drinking and have had my fair share of party days, and knew that after surgery I technically wasn't allowed. BUT then I started reading posts from some stating that they were going out and drinking, so I thought- can't be that bad. And it started.

It started with a happy hour here and there, going out with the girls now and then. Then to every time I ate out I would order a drink and more and more. Now I have a serious live in boyfriend (who doesn't know about my VSG- at this point I can eat almost normally yet still small meals- so I didnt say anything) Anyway- we stay in most nights and i have started the habit of making a drink almost every night. Many nights this drink turns into many. He has asked me to stop drinking so much and I am so embarassed. I don't know why it's such a comfort to me.

I do not miss food or drink because I can't eat, I know it isn't that. I do workout 5 times a week or more, so I am getting stress out that way too. I did go through a divorce, which added stress and changed everything up. I also am in the process of buying a house and have been totally stressing over that whole process and being broke saving for the down I had to put etc. It stresses me out to think of my new mortgage etc- I think all these things lead me to drink and I just need another outlet. I want to be healthy all around and don't want to turn to alcohol like this...

First, I think it's great that you recognize you are having a problem with alcohol. I congratulate you for that. It's a very hard thing to admit not only to yourself, but to others.

Alcohol problems can sort of be put into two categories - albeit simple and far from clinical. Those two categories would be social/casual or problem. Sounds like you have crossed over to the problem drinking category.

My recommendation for you would be to find help outside yourself. Quitting drinking is not easy and a lot of harmful emotions can be tied up in the problem. If you are an alcoholic you are also dealing with REAL physical dependency on the alcohol and will have some type of withdrawal from the alcohol. I really think it's in your best interest to get help. You can go to a number of places for help: AA, your family doctor, pyschiatrist/psychologist and a clergyman/woman are all very good places to start.

Luckily, you do not need alcohol to live. I choose not to drink. Alcoholism runs in my family and I could see the writing on the wall for me many years ago. I stopped before any harm was done. I wish you all the best. Feel free to PM me, if you would like additional support or have questions. Good luck.

Thank you Kairk. It scares me to think that I might need professional help but at the same time I think you are right. I can get free therapy sessions through my work, so I should just bite the bullet and hopefully fix this...soon.

First - you probably should check into AA or other programs to help you deal with the addiction for now. But beyond that, you probably need some deeper therapy to deal with underlying issues. As a global picture - you have to start dealing with the stress in your life - resolve some of those issues, and you'll see a decrease in your need for a coping mechanism.  You say you don't miss food but that's because you've replaced it. Food used to be a coping mechanism - it's gone, now it's alcohol.  

You are not alone - far from it. A lot of us deal with transfer addictions in one form or another - even me (except im not even over my addiction to food soo....)  I have to stay far far away from alcohol because I know i still have some unresolved issues and it would be very easy for me to become an alcoholic without a doubt. Some days I just dream of having a couple drinks to forget about the world but I know I cant.

You dont have to do this alone - you need to be able to have a support network and reach out to them. Let us know if we can do anything to help you!

 This has been my downfall, and my recent weight gain (I am almost 4 years post).  Drinking...and then when I drink I eat too.  I can easily stick to 1500 cals in a day, but as soon as night hits, I started drinking.  Like you, went from date night to every night.  My husband also wants me to quit.  

I have been working in therapy for 2.5 years.  It turned out that eating and weight wasn't a stand alone issue.  It was deeply rooted in trauma and abuse.  So I have been struggling with this, and the weight is creeping on.  Today I have a better handle on it, but it is something that I can lose grip of easily.  And it is something I work in therapy about.

acbbrown- thank you so much for the support and encouragement. I am definitely going to a meeting. I have a past DUI from 5 years ago, so I have been to them and actually enjoyed going, but like most didn't think I "really had a problem". At that time I would only drink when I was out with friends. This whole drinking at home thing just started in the last couple months. I've never drank like this and it's scary. I think I may have to just be a non-drinker period. :( 

longtimesleever- thank you for admitting that you can be in my same boat and being supportive. I know it's tough to throw it out there and have people judge. I don't want to regain and go through everything I have just to cause more hurt to my body. Your message was a good warning to me that I have to keep working on me, because a year or three or five from now I will still struggle with the same issues...

I drink! Just ...coffee. Can't say it's any less of a problem except I cant get into legal trouble :-p 

I have to agree with the others - find yourself a meeting. Big meeting, small meeting, it doesn't matter. I've fought the battle with alcoholism for 10 years now, and it's not something you ever really quit fighting (much like our food problems). I went in to my psychiatrist's office this week and one of the first things he asked me was when I went to my last meeting. I'll admit it's been a year or so - I've been doing pretty well. But his asking was a reminder that I have a LOT of stress going on right now and I've removed my ability to use food as a coping mechanism. I haven't slipped yet, but it's always a possibility. I'm probably going to head out to my favorite "big" meeting next week, just for the support.

I must be strange. I go to Happy Hour at least once a week but never think of drinking. Maybe it's because the room starts spinning for me right away & I cannot afford the risks that come along with that while being in public.
Drinking is fun for a lot of us & even I have used it as a stress relief.  That isn't a lie BUT it can become a serious transfer addiction for sure. I dabbled a little with it post-op & I was loving it. It really does need to stop if you can handle it my friend. It's just not a road worth taking. We let some surgeon butcher or stomachs so we can eat less to lose weight, get healthy, etc. We need to do our best to stay on the straight & narrow. Definitely take the advice here & get some help if you need it. Best of luck to you. You can do this!!

 no advice except to listen to what others have shared. sending ou love and all best wishes for you to take good care of yourself xoxo