Revisiting the winery issue after support group
“But what if I make a mistake?' Will asked.
Gilan threw back his head and laughed. 'A mistake? One mistake? You should be so lucky. You'll make dozens! I made four or five on my first day alone! Of course you'll make mistakes. Just don't make any of them twice. If you do mess things up, don't try to hide it. Don't try to rationalize it. Recognize it and admit it and learn from it. We never stop learning, none of us."
--John Flanagan, Erak's Ransom
Yesterday I had the opportunity to ask Dr. Cirangle about my grazing incident at the winery that I posted about earlier. For those of you who are not reading these boards everyday, the short version of the story is that I had not planned my social outing and ended up allowing myself to be seduced by the beautiful experience into relaxing my guard and eating off program. I am in maintenance and my real question was whether this type of behavior has any place in long term maintenance. After all, I was back on plan later that very night and was quite careful with my food for the rest of the week. I am still 105 lbs. and nothing much changed.
Dr. Cirangle gave me many pieces of advice on this topic and I am still taking it all in. The main point that I am walking away with is simple to understand yet challenging to sustain. I will always have to have a plan. It is as simple and as difficult as this simple truth. No, it is not a good idea to just relax and let things happen because ultimately, nothing good will happen. In the end, entropy wins out. In other words, things have a tendency to fall apart. Even though I am in maintenance, even though I can get myself back on program, even though, even though, even though..... It is all an excuse to stop paying attention, and stopping paying attention is the root of regain. Next time, and there will most certainly be a next time, I will once again go with a plan. The plan doesn't have to be to fully abstain, it can be as simple as to allow myself to eat mostly on plan, have a glass of wine and one or two off program appetizers. Or it can be to limit my intake to a given period of time, or a plan to eat extra carefully the week before the event. What the plan is, is actually much less important than just the process of having a plan. I will learn from this occasion, and I will not repeat the same mistake. Most importantly, I will not stop being honest with myself about what I am doing and learning from my experience.
Almost everything, I should have made a plan before going to the outing. I new it was going to be difficult to stay on plan at the winery, but I got a bit ****y and didn't think I needed a plan. I got a bit lax in my thinking, fortunately, I didn't let this become a habit and a new normal. It would have been easy to do this as the scale did not punish me this time. Over time, I am sure the scale would have caught up with me. Staying vigilant and humble is an important part of long term maintenance for me.
You are amazing. I think you do some mind-reading on the side.
I was feeling out of sorts, a cojumbled mess. Distracted. Not getting the millions of things done that I need to get done today. Decided I needed an OH minute. This is the first thing I read.
Thank you. I needed this. *hugs*
VSG 10/18/11 If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.-Dolly Parton
You got me. I woke up this morning and thought you might need me. Happy to be of service. :) Hugs to you. We all have days like that, I feel your pain and I know you will get through it and things will start to jell better soon. I wish I could just mentally whisk you away to my kitchen table for lunch and we could share a cup of soup together. Nothing pulls the day together better for me than a good friend and good soup. Hugs again.
