A Rite of Passage?

Right there with you!  Overall, the mental process and changing the way we interact with food and its importance in our lives are not things that are fixed with surgery -- but they must be fixed for us to be successful in the long run.

Old dogs can be taught new tricks, but for those of us in our 50s, our lifetime of habits is literally twice as long as some of our fellow OH pals. In fact, our bad habits have been with us longer than some of our pals have even been alive!  I'm mentioning that only to point out that breaking habits, though processes, etc., that are this ingrained will take time, and some aspects may be harder to fix than we expected.

But, we can do this!  We've made this decision, and we will get this done!

PS - if there's a magic want that will make me avoid fried chicken and sausage gravy over biscuits, I definitely would want a go at that!

I'm an old dog all right! I hope to learn those new tricks. Hopefully I'll learn them throughout this process.

One of the hardest things that you have to do is forgive yourself. For all of it. For getting fat. For feeling like a failure. For needing surgery to help fix what is broken. The other hard thing is to start loving yourself again.

It's funny that we have food funerals. I had them, too. Then I found out that I could eat things I liked - like steak and salmon - sans the carbs because I love carbs more than they love me. My food funerals really went into overdrive after surgery. I'd be eating something that tasted SOOO damn good. Then, BOOM! I'd have to stop before my brain was near finished. That sucked, but it also help to teach me how to moderate.

Letting go of 5 decades of hating who you'd become is the thing I hope you focus on.

Good luck - I can't wait to watch your journey.

I've wrestled with this a bit. I wonder if there is pent up frustration, aggravation, and accusation toward myself. I suppose there is. I was always big (I'm not talking just my weight) and strong. That allowed me to eat. But, life got sedentary and I did allow myself to go from big and strong to big, strong, and fat. I'll have to work through that.

My food funerals seem to be more about the size of the meal as much as type of food that I eat. I'm looking forward to not always worrying that the steak is too small!

I have struggled with lots of things in my life and for me this is the last (hopefully) dragon in my life. Food is a different kind of dragon, because we have to have it in our life every day. Quitting smoking, drugs, or booze is usually an all or nothing proposition, but food still requires us to be around our problem substance every day. Moderation, for me, is more difficult than abstinence. I know that this is a tool and has to be used effectively to work and then lifestyle changes and an ongoing vigilance has to become part of my being. What I got from the sleeve has been a vacation from the neverending hunger. I had that insidious combination of cravings (Head) and hunger (body) that combined to drive me to eat every Oreo in the house or finish the whole bag of chips. It felt like compulsive behavior. I found that carbs trigger some of the cravings and reducing them in my diet has helped with that component. The sleeve seems to have eliminated, for the time being , the actual hunger. I have lost over 60 pounds before with various programs, but I never got rid of my fat clothes before. I have committed to this program to the extent that I feel that I can be successful this time. I have been getting rid of my big guy clothes as I am growing out of them. For me personally, I am committed to relegating food to a fuel status and not an entertainment or reward. I can still take pride in crafting a good meal, but "good" has a different criteria now. It needs to be healthy, protein oriented and low carb. The taste is only important to the extent that it is not too unpleasant....  I look forward to having a healthier lifestyle and a different relationship with food. I see this as my last shot at a complete, balanced life. I want to play with my grandchildren and not die any earlier than I need to.

Good luck on your journey!

I hope this is the last dragon that I need to slay too! Thank for your thoughts and encouragement. I too hope the cravings go away.

Hi: Go for it, you'll do ok, keep the faith.

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Thanks, I will work on that.

Doesn't it just **** you off that we are not one of those skinny folk who can eat basically what they want and not get fat!!  I both love and hate to think about food so much.  But, I am what I am and I make no apologies for it.  I just try the best I can to deal with it.

I don't have all the answers and I never will.  The only thing I am sure of is that this is a life long process.  Surgery is going to open a new chapter for you.  You will be in a restaurant and look down at your plate which still has most of the food left on it and get angry that you can't eat like you could before. Then you inner sensible person will slap you upside the head and say "stupid, this is what you wanted and this is why you can now fit in the booth you are sitting in."

You are approaching this with thought and consideration.  This will prepare you for some of the changes, most of them good, that will take place.  Maybe you will be one of the ones who doesn't get hungry anymore.  I suppose that makes things easier, I wouldn't know.  The head game is persistent.  It may require daily attention.  Some days you win, some days you lose, but it is never over and never too late.

Good luck and I am glad you found this site because it is difficult enough and doing it alone would be almost impossible.

Yeah, I'd love to have been a thin guy. But, it just didn't work out that way for me. So, I'm looking forward to this  change in my life.

I'm a pastor and what you said: "The head game is persistent.  It may require daily attention.  Some days you win, some days you lose, but it is never over and never too late" resonates with me. I say the exact same thing in regards to many things that my people deal with. I suppose it's time for me to put this principle in action in my own life in regards to this battle.