Help?

I had a mental breakdown in November. Was hospitalized. Given Remron, which makes your appetite go nutzoid. Before I started my weight loss journey, I weighed 317. I wen down to 179. I am at 220 now. I have long since stopped with that med and gone on something else. But the extra weight is here and I feel like a failure. I was exercising, eating right, and my scale said I was 205. I thought I was well on my way to getting back to normal. Then I got on two other scales to see that my initial bathroom scale is a piece of **** I had weighed 220 all along. I did a 5k, ate right, just for my jeans to stay tight. I also feel like all the coping mechanisms I learned in Kaiser's Options program flew out the window. Please respond, even if it is a happy face waving. Or something. Kinda feel a panic attack coming on. Anyone else get triggered like this?

Hey there! Sending a great biig hug! Gurllllll you lost 138 POUNDS!!!! So you gained a few back under a major event and medication. You know how to lose weight, you did it before, you will do it again!! Why are we so tied to the number on the scale?? I wish i knew....i have a crappy home scale too...so i make it a game....best two out of three! Or best three out of five! Who am i kidding it is always the LOWEST no matter how many times i weigh!! Get active with this board, with a localsupport group and do what you know needs to be done and keep doing it ! No matter what the scale says! Yes it will be harder this time and take longer... but you've been there at that lower weight...you know its worth the effort. You know how it feels to feel comfortable with yourself, even proud of yourself! Now carry yourself like Cleopatra, head held high, shoulders back, focused on your mission of which you KNOW you will be successful in no matter how ling it takes because you are determined and laser focused to achieve it!!!!!! No panic attack, you are in control and will put that panic in its place....behind you as you strut, yes girl, STRUT past it on your mission to a better you!! Happy faces, waves and hugs abound to you....the warrior princess!!!!!!

Cara, Hello!!

This does not sound like failure.

Let's get some perspective:

You've maintained a close to 100-pound weight loss for about 3 years, right? You do realize that that is a very unusual thing in the world of weight loss, don't you? you do realize that this shows that your decision to get surgery was sooooo the correct decision. It shows that you did indeed learn a lot from that wonderful preop program at Kaiser. It shows that you have been able to apply what you learned, and you applied it very successfully.

You are showing lots of wisdom by catching the weight gain when it is now just 40 pounds, and not lots more. 40 pounds is not 100 pounds, Cara!

You have a track record of knowing how to lose weight, and how to maintain it. You have a track record of success in both of these areas. They are skills, like the skill of working with glass. YOu have not lost these skills. They are there, waiting to serve you. You now have the opportunity to take good care of them. Be nice to them. Do you work with glass beads? These weight management skills that you have worked so well are like beautiful beads that are unique to you -- now is the time to think about how you can create a lovely necklace with them...

You have been eating right, exercising, and you have done a 5K! To me, those things are successes, not failures. Give yourself some credit -- this is very very important! Take stock of what you have done right, what you have been doing right. There is a lot for you to be pleased about. You can not create a lovely peice of jewelry if you only focus on beads that you do not like. You build a satisfying peice from beads that have beauty and strength. Those beads form the basis of the design, yes?

We all do stuff that is less than good, less than perfect. So what?

Being hospitalized, coping with new medications, devoting energies into getting better, getting off of the new medications -- these all take energy and thought and courage. You have been dealing with a lot of stuff. You needed that medication. Unfortunately, meds often have side effects. How wonderful that you don't have to continue with that medication!

Now is the time to maybe write down your strengths, what you have been doing right. Time to re-activate some of the things from the Kaiser class that maybe you haven't done in a while. Can you go back for a refresher? Do they give you   ongoing access to a dietician (which I would recommend, especially since you are frustrated that you have been doing so many things right, but you say that your jeans still are not futting properly) and/or to some short term counseling? My guess is that Kaiser would be very willing to help you here. You could start with a chat with your primary care physician.

Be good to yourself,Cara. I bet that being hard on yourself, calling yourself a failure, was NOT one of the things that they suggested to you in the Options program! :)  My belief and observation is that self-punishment does not work to strengthen healthy habits...

You are off to a good start! The truth is, I think that this is what maintenance is about -- catching gains, and starting again. Reactivating skills, mindsets, habits. You have been doing these things -- might need some tweaking, which is very do-able, considering all of the other things that you have accomplished in the past.

Hugs!

Love, Swizzlequeen

Thank you so much. Means a ton to me

Don't give up on you today.

Good advice! Thanks!

{{{HUGS}}} going out to you, along with good thoughts and best wishes.

Sophie

Thank you for your support. Means a lot to me.

Hugs! You can do this! Do you track your food? I think that is a huge step in being aware of what we take in and take out. I agree with the above posters, you are not a failure. You had a set back but your sleeve is still there and ready to work for you. I think it's great that you are still exercising too! Try to increase your water and decrease your calories. Keep coming back to this board for insight. You can do it!!!

Yeah, I think coming back to the board for support and general mindset is a big part of future success.