Almost 3 years out - I need you all now more than ever!

So, I am approaching my 3rd anniversary and really need to get back on track. I got down to 198 pounds which lasted for mayyyybe one day and then I started going the wrong direction. I am now sitting at 225 lbs. About a year ago I was just under 215 and remember thinking that if I hit that 215 mark I am going to freak out...then it was 220...then 225. I wallowed in guilt, self-hate, remorse and sorrow. I didn't "hang out" on OH.com much because I despised seeing all the successes when I felt like a failure. The guilt and shame consumed me. Then recently I started hanging out here more often and seeing familiar faces still persevering - some maintaining well and some struggling like me. I soon realized that I NEED to be here - like every. day. It motivates me and keeps me grounded. I have decided to let go of the guilt and get back on track. I clung to this site like crazy for the first year and then slowly let go - that is about the time that I started faltering. When I come back and read what others are eating/doing/dealing with - it makes me feel connected. I met with a NUT last week - she is helping me get back to basics and also deal with some nutritional deficiencies. I am praying for success and hoping to get a pick me up from you all. I was scared to come back here - fearing that I would be criticized for failing. I know there must be others who have faltered - I would love to hear from anyone who has picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and gone on to get to goal. I know there must be folks out there like me!!!

...and now I'm off to find Miss Shell's whatcha eating post! ;-)

I think you are incredibly brave and strong to get back on here and get back to basics!  Congratulations and welcome!

Thanks Jenn - I failed to also mention that I am looking forward to getting to know who's who around here again! I see some familiar faces but so many new faces too! You and I started at the same weight - maybe I can get caught up with you and follow you to goal!!! :-)

That would be awesome!  I have a bechon, too!  His name is Hercules!

Oooooooo....they're the best little doggies ever!!!! Are you on the facebook bichon page???

Glad you're back. I'm new here and I'm sure I can learn a lot from you.

Thanks! Welcome to the forum and best of luck to you! Have you already had your procedure?

It's good for you to post here - there's a lot of people lurking (and some not lurking) that are in the same boat. Im up a few lbs after being off track and blah blah....all that matters is that we never give up and never stop trying. Getting rid of the shame, and embarassment is the biggest step forward honestly. Those feelings only drag us down and continue to de-rail our efforts. 

Thanks! You are so right about derailing ourselves. I read your post about emotional eating before I posted and could totally relate to what you said. It's so important to recognize the things that can set us back otherwise we are not likely to succeed. Two things I knew about myself going into this is that I am an emotional eater and I am also a grazer. I did not deal with either from the git go and that has been a big part of my downfall. I am still trying to figure all that out so I really appreciated your suggestions!